LITERATURE.

Globe, Volume XXII, Issue 1903, 31 March 1880, Page 3

LITERATURE.

A CONSERVATIVE PROVIDKNOE. [By Pbndkagon.] CnArrER I. Everyone knows of the Dukes of Doublefoot, and how rich, and great, and good, and transcendently clever they have been from the very first day when blue blood became a sign of noble and aristocratic nature. Everyone knows how the possessor for the time being of the title has a palace in London, rated at about £30,000 a year, and half a dozen castles in the country, which, with the grounds attached, would take a skilled estate agtnt to describe completely. Everyone knows how the Duke has ninety-nine fat livings in his gift, and that now and again he has even thrown in for an archbishopric, while quite half a dozen spiritual peers of the present time owe their advancement to his early discovery of their merits. Everybody, in fact, knows all about the great Dukes of Doublefoot; so there can be no harm whatever in my telling them just a little bit more.

It doesn't seem such a very great while ago, counted on the long list of illustrious names which go to make up the famous family list, that there lived a Duke of Doublefoot who was a terrible person indeed. Times are changed since then, and, great and glorious a thing as it is to be a Duke now, it was even much greater and more glorious in the time of which I treat. Although the days of feudality were gone, and it wasn't considered quite the thing to hang a retainer or two before breakfast, just to encourage the others and give them an incentive to loyalty, the law was very considerate' of great people-yes, even more than it is at present; and the then Duke of Doublefoot put the tenderness of the law of hia time to a good test —except, of course, when he had to administer it himself. This Duke used to divide his time pretty equally between London and the country. In the last century travelling was so slow that even a Duke had to take his time, and people were not so given to flitting about in the good old time as they are now. But for a great many yesrs, wherever the Duke went there would a common, vulgar man go too, and always would insist on seeing his Grace. Not that he was allowed to, but that didn't seem to matter much to him. He would present himself at the thirty-thousand-a-year-rated palace in London, or at any one of the numerous castles standing in their own grounds at various parts of the country, indiscriminately. And he always had to be removed by force. Or he would crop up suddenly in the middle of the night, at one of the various halting places by the way, or be seen hanging on behind the great six-horse travelling carriage of the Luke, sticking pins in the legs of the footmen, and crying aloud for justice. In short, he seemed to be everywhere and at all times. How he did it was a mystery then, and 1 don't exactly see my way to explaining it now, All I can say ie, he used to be there whenever he was not wanted, and it wan certain that he was a great source of undefined terror to the wicked Dake of Doublefoot. He was a coarse, dirty man, with a week's bristly beard, and smelt horribly of gin. onions, and cobbler's wax. At last driven tr> desperation by years of persecution, the wicked Duke determined to bring matters to a climax, and gave orders that the next time the man appeared ha was to be let in. This was while the Duke was at one of his numerous castles, the one in Doublefootshir?, I fancy ; but, anyhow, the man called next morning, and surely enough was t-hown in to his Grace, who was break fasting on cutlet, and claret, at waa his invariable custom, in the Armoury. 'And now, sirrah,' eaid the Duke of Doublefoot, 'what is the meaning of this iutrution? Speak, dog, or die !' * My name,' said the intruder, ' is Josiah Jubblethorpe, an humble clouter of shoon. Ten yeurs ago I half-soled and heeled your Grace's boots, and I insist on the right of payment. So cash up, and no more jaw. Three and six, please, and no 'batemenV

The Duke became livid with rage. He strode to the wall of the armoury, and took down the go">d blade which his grandfather had wielded at a famous defeat, and poised it ready for the death-blow. Bat no, he would not disgrace it with the blood of carrion Summoning the warder, he at once consigned the intruder to the deepest dungeon beneath the castle moat. 'Thus,'said his Grace, 'perish all who would trouble a Duke with trifles.'

And thus, having done with Jubblethorpe, we will leave him, as he undoubtedly waß left, to himself, and to bis reflection on the folly of too much perseverance.

Chapter 11. Time passed on, aud in due courne tV wicked Duke of Doublefoot was gathered 1 his fathers. He was succeeded by his elde son, the Marquis of Bunyanfoot; and tl other eight of his male children were pr> vided for by a grateful country. Loi George got into Parliament, and became pe pertual chairman of committees. L'l Henry was in the Navy, and after sinkir two frigates and a ship of the Hue, was give the command of a roj a", yacht, with instrn tions to sink anything bnt that. Loi William was sent out as Governor of tr Pork Pie Islands, the same that are no ruled by a dreadful and obnoxious perao whose sole claim is that of merit, and wh would therefore be recalled but that t would be still more obnoxious at horn' Lord Alfred and Lord John obtained fi pout ion a about the Court, and free lodgini at St. Jamts's Palace. Lord Charles, wh was in the Guards dnring his fathei's life time, exchanged, and with hi j interest soo became a Major-General. He lost three c f >nr battles when in command, during st) all war with the Pacific Islanders, ws publicly thanked by the House of Common and retired on a well-earned and speciall grinted pension. Lord Thomas and Lor Frederick entered the Church, the forme becoming soon a Dean, and eventually Bishop. This promotion unfortunately ii tsrfered with the prospects of Lord Fredi rick, who, being the youngeet son of all, ha to rest content with three or four rich ir cumbencies, and half a dozen minor canonriei and suchlike things that fell in his way. The wicked Duke's sons were all married and being of a prolific and well-nurture race, most of them had large families, wh< n iturally interfered with each other's pros pectsin the distribution of the family patron age. All these children got married in turn and took a step lower down in the socia ladder, gradually becoming absorbed in th " great middle class of England," butalway retaining a vivid remembrance of thai grandfather the great Duke of TJoutlefoot particularly when there was anything to b given away. But this veracious narrativ here lose 3 all sight of the general body o the Donblefoots, which, by the way, wa?n' the family name, and confines itself to tb youngest lino, a scion of which I met no long ago. He it was who told me all this and a very nice story I think it is, too. hope the reader will be of the same opinion. Lord Frederick then married a lady, wb was of the longest pedigree and the shortes purse in the land, and, according to a pecu liarity of his family, had nine sons. All the other brothers had nine sons, if they hat any; but, ia addition, the Rev. Lore Frederick Blanderpate—that was the fatnilj name—had six daughters. My informan said this was probably because he was : parson and lived in the country; bat, as ] said at the time, I don't see what th».t hai to do with it. The father and mother die all they could to bring up their childrei fashionably and well, and always reminded them it was their duty to be staunch Con servatives, and to do their duty properly ii that position of life in which it should please Providence to place them. Providence was pretty good to the eldei boys, who gradually went out into the world and were placed according to their abilitiei and the state of the family influence at the time. But either ability was wanting o: interest waned as the younger member! grew up, and the chancer of the ontgoeri grew smaller by degrees and gradually less And if this was so with the boys, i was still worse with the girls, come o whom hung on hand waiting for tb husbands who wouldn't come till they mad> a virtue of necessity, and declared tha single blessedness was the only blessednes this world possesses. One of them begai writing books on the subject, and eventual!; got employment as a leader writer on a dail; paper; another took up the budding caus of woman's rights, and spoke volubly fron many platforms ; the others attended Dor cas meetings and Sunday schools ; and all with one exception, regarded man as a snan and a thing to be avoided. The exceptioi was the youngest daughter, who, thougl she had been educated with a vivid notioi of the family's greatness, and what was dm to its position in the country, thought i poor husband better than none; so shi accepted the advances of a young Londoi practitioner, also of the very best family through a course of youngest sons, and much to the disgust of her dsters, go married. Her father gave the young coupli all he had—bis blessing—which the mothei supplemented with a large quantity of gooc advice and a small amount of plate ant linen. Thus armed, Mr and Mrs Bloom field—Bloomfield was the grandson of ai Irish peer, or he would never have b-sei allowed to marry Miss Blunderpa*.e—de parted to commence the campaign of life. But somehow or other, despite the bless ings of the Rev. lord Freddy and the gooc advice of the old lady, things didn't prospe with Mr and Mrs Bloomfield. Thny had ai innumerable quantity of children thei house was once described as a regular rabbit hutch—but patients held aloof most unmis takably. Mr Bloomfield made one or tw> errors in cases with which he was connected and though he said it was the fault of th errand-boy, people took their complaint elsewhere, They said he was a perfect gen tleman and his wife a perfect lady ; but whei they were ill they wanted to be cured There was a good deal of doctoring doing too, in their neighborhood, and mediea men came and made fortunes and wen away, and at last even the very errani boy who had been blamed for mixing up th prescriptions, set up his carriage, dre\ cheques on the bank, and gave large parties while poor Bloomfield sank deeper am deeper and deeper every day under his diffi cultiea.

They hadn't given their children much education, chiefly because they hadn't time, and there were no Board schools thea ; and so by the time Bloomfield and his wife succumbed to a heap of troubles, an indignant remonstrance from a rich relative, and a distemper Bloomfield tried to cure, the fa-nily was not in a very good position for keeping up its dignity. I wish I could say that the girls went out to service ; but they were too proud for that, and their first step was as nursery governesses and ladies' companions. One brother went to Australia free, another enlisted, and the remaining great-grandson of the greatest Dake of Doublcfoot. when Hst seen by his relations, was driving a hansom cab.

Chapter 111. We will now, for a time, go back to the Jubblcithorpea, the head of whose family was cast into a dungeon by the wicked Duke. Many years afterwards his bones were found, but in the meanwhile his business prospered. His eldest son had always said it was no use taking so much trouble over the ducal three-and-Bix, and had steadily devoted himself to the promotion of the ready-money and no-trust system of sale. Though often in the dim watches of the night he would rise from his tearbestrewn ccujh, and swear vengeance on the destroyers of his father should they ever be discovered, he never albwed private matters t? interfere with trade, and during the day drove many a brave bargain. The result was that not long after he had taken charge of affairs the stall adjacent to the ducal palace, rated at £30,000 a year, became a fairly sized shop, with a good sprinkling of stock, and this had been twice enlarged and once double-fronted by the time he closed his eyes in that sleep from which no man knows the waking. Before this, however, the wicked Duke lad died, and the bones of tho elder Jubblethorps had been discovered by the ducal heirs, executors, and assigns. " hey were known chiefly by the fragments of the leather apron, the remains of the g-izzly beard, and the odour of gin and onions, as previously described. And then, ' when these relics were returned to him, the new-comer having no occasion for their use, i the surviving Jubblethorpe swore a fearful ! oath to be avenged if possible, but certainly nover to give credit to any one, be he Duke ! or dust-carter. He did not succeed in getting his revenge, but the ready-money system yielded a rich reward, {To be continued.)