THE GLOBE. MONDAY, OCTOBER 6, 1879.

Globe, Volume XXI, Issue 1756, 6 October 1879, Page 2

THE GLOBE. MONDAY, OCTOBER 6, 1879.

The '' Own correspondent o£ tho * Lyttelton Times ' " from the seat of war is evidently a man of much discrimination. Tho things that he sees, the speeches that ho hears, tho wheels within wheels that ho discovers, aro so varied, and so far beyond the kon of ordinary mortals, that tho imagination reels at his vast acutoness. Take, for instance, his reports during tho last week, and we shall gather thorefrom a mass of facts which, if published in block, would afford most valuable pabulum for a history of New Zealand. Wo are, of course, not alluding to tho " own coi respondent's" views on tho general political situation, for, of course, a correspondent may woll be excused for not at times seeing the real bearings of a turmoil out of which will in due course be evolved tho safety or defeat of a Ministry; and tho very fact that the correspondent is living on tho field of action, makes the possibility of a true insight only the more difficult. But when the "Lyttelton Times'" own correspondent is so wonderfully fertile in manufacturing facts, it is quite impossible not to feel an unbounded respect for his ininventive faculties. The beginning of last week he telegraphs "Mr Yincent Pyko, who was counted on by tho Opposition has telegraphed that he will vote for the Ministry." On the following day there appears-—"lt is said that one membor who telegraphed his adhesion to Government will rat, but until the decision I refrain from mentioning his name." Was this mysterious individual Mr Pyke ? This ingenious method of manufacturing " a rat" will at once strike the reader as being as praiseworthy as it is orgiual. Tho "rat manufacture" may always be carried on, it appears, as follows: —First, pick out your man, say he has telegraphed in a manner contrary to his convictions, and when he follows his natural line of conduct brand him as " a rat," a terrible epithet which is supposed to contain an amount of scorn which should wither in a manner that an accusation of murder would completely fail to do. Next day comes " our correspondent's" remarks on the debate on tho address and reply, in which he completely " crumples up" the " Press" newspaper. Mr Hall, complaining of the unfairness in tho distribution of Government advertisements in Christchurch, argued that they should be given one day to one paper and tho next day to tho other, adding, in allusion to the " Press," " in order that its readers may see them." A member exclaims, " Who are they ?" on which, according to the " own correspondent," the House is dissolved in inextinguishable laughter. The convulsions into which "the own correspondent" went on this side-splitting joke boing perpetrated appears to have had an exhausting effect on him, for the next day he is unusually dull, nothing novel appearing in his daily budget. But ho makes up for it on Friday when impaling Mr. Masters. The attempted exculpation of this wretched man the " own correspondent" informs the "Lyttleton Times" was very impotent and lame, so much so indeed that " both sides of tho House smiled significantly, and it was stated that Masters was hissed in going through the lobbies." Whether the significant smile to be seen on all countenances drove Mr. Masters immediately out of the House, and then certain active Ministerialists were sent swiftly round into the lobbies to hiss him as he passed, does not appear, but it may be inferred that Mr. Masters had a very rough time of it, because "our own correspondent" winds up by stating that " both sides regard his action contemptuously." " Our own correspondent" finishes that day's budget with the mysterious announcement that " it is rumoured that one member absolutely counted on by the Opposition will vote for Ministers, but it is difficult to trace the report to an authentic source." Was this mysterious individual Mr. Pjke who had " re-ratted " —if we may use the expression ? On Saturday the "own correspondent," as befits the important occasion, comes out very strongly. Tawhai, he says, resented Mr. Saunders' sneers at tho Maoris, and Baid he would act as a chief, and would vote in accordance with what he had promised to do when he was sent to the House. At this sneer, according to tho " own correspondent," " the white rats winced visibly." The eagle eye of the "own correspondent" was fixed on the " white rats," and had probably as much to do with their wincing as the sneer of Mohi Tawhai. And next, a neat little puff of his own paper is indulged in. Mr. De Lautour, in speaking of the " Lyttelton Times," characterised it as the loading paper of the colony, a statement which the " own correspondent" says " was received with expressions of approval and not a word of dissent." This universal acceptance of Mr. De Lautour's proposition must have been most comforting to the correspondent, for as the paper with which he is connected was, by general consent, at once dubbed the leading paper of the colony, it was evident that its special representative must at once take the position of premier own correspondent. His exertions had evidently been appreciated. The manner in which he had caused the " white rats " to writhe in their seats had received its reward. None of these miserable and pale-faced rodents had dared to dissent when the burning panegyric of tho " Lyttelton Times" was made by Mr. De Latour. We must sincerely congratulate our morning contemporary on tho possession of a representative with such

valuable all round qualities. Endowed with an imagination the like of which we aro fain to confess—nay, happy to confoss —cannot easily he matched, possessed of a vast power of utilizing his inventive faculties, and with a happy knack of dominating the House through the medium of his eagle eye this " own correspondent" is well worthy his position as representative of the " Lyttelton Times" at tho Empire City.