THE LOAFER IN THE STREET.

Globe, Volume XX, Issue 1629, 10 May 1879, Page 3

THE LOAFER IN THE STREET.

The residents in the various southern townships appear to have been doing their best to entertain the Q-overnor on the occasion of his first visit. At Invercargill a public ball was projected, and in a telegram to a Dunedin paper it was stated that the committee, “in order to make the ball a thoroughly popular one , had decided to exclude intoxicating liquors.” From what I know of the general habits of the New Zealand public, I should have thought that the course alluded to above would have had the effect of making the ball intensely unpopular. The committee appear to have thought so too, for they rescinded the resolution, and thus Sir Hercules leaves Invercargill under a more correct impression of the habits of its inhabitants than might have been expected. N. B.—l observe neither Timaru nor Christchurch introduced the temperance idea. This was, perhaps, as well. An English paper tells the following little story, which I do not think has as yet appeared in print here: —A widow woman occupied, under a large proprietor, two or three acres and a small house. Her rent fell in arrear, and the landlord waited on the woman himself. She explained to him that it was utterly impossible for her to pay her rent; and the landlord said, “ I am very sorry, but I think I can help you out of your difficulty. You must get up a subscription, and we will purchase you a cow.” The landlord, of course, headed the list himself ; the money was subscribed, the cow was bought, the milk was enjoyed by the widow for two or three weeks, and then at the end of that time the cow was sold by the landlord to pay the rent.

In a place whore testimonials are so common, and where, us at present, pecuniary difficulties are not unknown, I make a present to landlords of the suggestion contained in the above with much pleasure. It is curious to note how some literary chaps will spend years in tackling subjects which they cannot fathom, and which would bo no earthly use to them or anyone else if they did. Who cares who wrote the letters of Junius. Junius, whether he wore Draper or

' ‘ut I. How, -vould be very small pot itt < s p.s R j urnnlist now-a-days. I’m sorry for tl e ,i, the Iron Mrsh, for ho must have bad

rat h>>r a rough, time of It, but if a truth'ul man were to swear to me that the masl ed prisoner were positively a bro'her of Louis XIV. I shouldn’t get excited above giving you a good Jo 111 oil t lie sunjeet. Literary men have gone to a deal of trouble during t'ie last twenty y u im to find those lost ten t ribes of Israel. ' I havn’t turned my attention in that direction to any great extent because, so far as I can see, the surviving section of the nation, so to speak, don’t seem to take any deep interest in the fate of their long lost brethren. They don’t offer any reward for their discovery, and in point of fact seem to got along very well without them. One gets a little confused about those errant tribes, because they are supposedly found in different places about once a year. I found, to my astonishment, a few days eiaoo that I belonged to the loot crowd myself. 1 ascertained the act from a pamphlet published in Dunedin, which stales that the British nation dan historically and Scripturally bo shown to bn the lost Ton Tribes of Israel. I always thought 1 had a sort of lost feeling about me, but now 1 am Satisfied, as I hope Queen Victoria will bo whefl she secs herself traced by the writer to be a lineal descendant of Ji i£g David. If Mr Tennyson’s “ grand old gardener and his wife ” are permitted to read sublunary pamphlets, I think they will bo highly amused with the lineage of the Queen of England as given by the author of “ Who are the Saxons ?”

Some of the theatrical managers who have during tho last few weeks visited this metropolis have complained of tho of support to their entertainments. Consoling friends hare assured them that it was not from any want of appreciation of their respective shows, but simply that tho Christchurch public are rather hard up just now. I think there is another reason to account for the sparse houses, at any rate, on one night in the week, and that is the superior attractions of the comedy enacted at the City Council Chambers. A stranger reading tlie report of the proceedings on April 28th would certainly conclude that the majority of our councillors were insane. The stranger probably would not be far out, Councillor Cass, than whom X can scarcely conceive anyone more hopelessly idiotic, makes a speech of twenty-one minutes, a speech incoherently drivelling even for him, and then takas the Mayor to task for allowing members to take up the time of the Council by rambling from from the matter in hand. In the course of his remarks the councillor observed that he was jars ahead of his ago. It’s quite possible, ami such being the case, by far the bast and most merciful thing Mr Cass could do is to sleep until we get on terms with him. As to Councillor Cass’ late letter in tho“ Lyttelton Times ” —Whv it ought to be framed and hung up in the Council Chamber to shew future burghers the stylo of man who represented tho City of Christchurch in 1879. Councillor Wilson, who should certainly take for his motto Vox ct prat ere a nihil, looks back with almost tearful regret to the happy days of 1860, when as ho pathetically remarks “ they used to meet every evening and talk up to eleven o’clock.” Judging from present appearances it seems more than likeljj Mr Wilson; that civic history will repeat itself in this rfispect. I must look up the archives of those days to see if you were as polite aud amusing then as you are now, and learn whether it was the fashion then to accuse a gentleman who formed one of a deputation to the Council of eavesdropping. I can scarcely believe that in the halcyon days Mr Wilson dwells on with such affection that the Council was the Bear Q-arden it is at present. Under existing circumstances I know of no three people who deserve more the sympathy of the general public than the Mayor and the City Council reporters.

A correspondent of the “ Marlborough Express” is wondering how it is that we never hear more of those disgraceful bank notes people raved about so much about two years ago. At that time, as the writer very truly observes, this species of currency was said to be the medium by which the seeds of every fatal disease were borne abroad. Diphtheria, scarlatina, and a host of infections were thus carried into the bosom of one's family. “Such delicacy,” says my observant Blenheim friend, “is now a thing of the past.” It is so. I know hundreds of really good men here —men fond of their wives and children—who would run the chance of the Black Plague if it came in the form of a roll of notes. Bank notes are very scarce and valuable. How valuable the following little circumstance will show. Some of the senior boys at one of our public educational institutions met some short time since, and one of them, with pardonable pride, produced a one-pound note. It is needless to say he was for the time the cynosure of twenty pair of eyes. He being an unsefish kind of lad, announced that he did not wish to keep such a curiosity to himself, but had made up his mind to raflle it; which he did, at thirty-three members at a shilling each. What a financier that youth will make by-and-bye. Times must be better in the Empire City than they are here. I judge so from the fact that a Wellington contemporary warns his lady readers not to keep their purses in wl at I be lieveis called the Invitation Pocket, as several pockets have recently been picked. I could not of course say in what state feminine finance may be here, but you could pick the pockets of half the men in Christchurch, and then not have more than enough to square your landlady if you were above a fortnight in arrears.

The following letter appears in the last number of the “The Church News”: SELF-EECOMMENDATION. (To the Editor of the “ New Zealand Church News.”)

Sie, —Will you kindly allow me the opportunity of recommending myself to the notice of the clergy, especially the younger members of the reverend order ?

I do not require fodder ; I do not need a stable ; my original cost is considerably less than a horse and trap; I cun travel over nearly every parish in Canterbury with perfect ease ; I am an excellent cure for dyspepsia and low spirits. Kindly recommend mo, Mr Editor, Yours, &c., Bicycle. P.S.—Candidates for Orders might bo recommended to practise upon me. I um thinking of memorialising the Synod on the subject. The letter should more properly, I think, have been headed “To meet the Times.” The writer probably means well, but he has made a most unhappy suggestion. From this our grateful parishioners—and no matter how grateful they may be, parishioners are fond of doing things on the cheap—will present their pastors with bicycles, instead of buggies as heretofore, and I ’m not quite positive whether in many cases they will prove quite suitable.

I have been favored with a very spirited lot of lines in reference to the Native Land Court now squatting at Kaiapoi. I pass in the ensuing quotelet which, of course, it will be understood is spoken supposedly by a Maori chieftain :

“ Sons of the pale face, hear my voice. I have eaten the white man very choice : Eaton his flesh. And your bravest’s bones I have left to bleach ’mid the river stones. Think ye my words are idle air. Such was your fate. Again beware. * * * *

Hear ye our answer, hence, away. Keep yo your lives, while keep them you may. Seize yo one rood, and the end shall bo Death to the Maori men —or thee.” If the above ho the real sentiments of the intelligent aboriginals now in Council up North I don’t go near the city of Kaiapoi for some considerable time. Albeit, I don’t fancy myself as “ very choice.” At a recent sitting of the District Court in Westport, His Honor Judgo Weston remark'd that ho hardly knew how two solicitors could make a living there, one at least of them must be content with very small profits. The Judge need not despair. Only lob a third legal gentleman make his appearance and law in Westport will soon revive. I don’t expect any of our solicitors will try Westport. We havn’t enough here now, and then I hear only of 312joung gentlemen in Christchurch quali-

tying for the profession. li Judge Weston have any superfluous sympa'hy on hand ho can pour it over the poor Lyttelton prople, w.io have hee.n wanting a beak sadly for months. There are hundreds of people in that flourishing p >rt panting to get summ msed and can’t. A recent Victorian telegram informs us that the “ proprietor of the Academy of Mudeand Victorian Arcade, is insolvent. His liabilities are £69,000, and the estimated assets amount to £93,000.” This is a very exceptional case. A man can’t meet his engagements when he is £24.000 ahead of them. We are generally quite the other way here. An insolvency such as the above would bo positively embarrassing <o creditors hero. According to tire telegrams from the North wo have the privilege of readi; g every morn ing, the Native meeting must be indeed a lively turn out. It seen ? very similar to other Native meetings. We ere informed that the Natives spend their time in singing, card-playing, and unlimited stuffing. The usual murderers are in attendance, and the white people occupy the usual back seats in the performance—a performance in which the only novelty I can find is the singing of a Maori song by Mr Sheehan. Ido like these Native meetings so much, but there would be a deal of telegraphic expense saved to the Southern journals if they kept an account standing in type of one korero, which, with very little alteration, would last for all time. Lots of the illustrated papers work the same dodge with their pictures, and no dissatisfaction is expressed by ony one.