LOAFER IN THE STREET.

Globe, Volume XX, Issue 1442, 30 September 1878, Page 3

LOAFER IN THE STREET.

[«Ba:vi THE I'RESS.J tfc in, I hear, weekly becoming mo?o and more the custom of those Kaiapoi farmers who belong to the Established Church to make a slight mental addition to the ninth clause of the Lituny. After lightning and tempest, plague, pestilence, and famine, they add sparrows, and mean it too. Mr James A. Hanan of Southland, must be a man of no ordinary versatility. He was, according to a late number of the " Daily News," advertised to kcturo on '" The Wonderf'.d Works of God in the Heaver..! and en this Earth," with the Biography of soma' of the jyoulcjt Mon the world 'has ever seen. How measurements of height and of miles distance cay bo got by triangulaiion vyitla only a two-foot rule, A new song, written, for the octagon, w»a to be =nng by Mr Wott-os, with music accompaniments, Beservficl seats, gs j back seats, Is; school boys, halt\rsrJ, l G. His Improvements in measurement were Koareely, perhaps, so original as those of Mr Adams, but then Mr Hunan's show has more variety and appropriate music. Perhaps, ia this latter respect, the Canterbury ■ohlloacphbrß would do well to ."oUaw hij example P" 8 - 3:;si»g iu the society do many accomplished vocalists, a few appropriate chants might be introduced, and I make Dr. na-.st a present of tho suggestion with much pleasure.

It is not often a telegraph agent has a chance of wiring a quotation, and you can, therefore, perhaps imagine the feelings of the classical wirist on reading the following rendering of a message which no doubt was carefully put together: "'New Plymouth, September 20th—The Pirehnka half-yearly meeting, that imperium in ru.peno, as ex-Judge Thomas would call it has come to an close."

However incorrect quotations often pass muster here right enough. I frequently mate them myself. Apropos of telegraphists the most sensible ono living is the Wellington agent of the Poverty Uay paper. This a sample which several of you people might follow with advantage : " Wellington, Sept. 16. " No English, Colonial or political news worth wiring." They have been discussing the question of Charitable Aid at the Kaiapoi Borough Council. In the course of the debate his Worship the Mayor of Kaiapoi expressed his opinion that pauperism was an organised trade in New Zealand. This is quite possible. Its not a remunerative profession, but I never put foot in any country yet where there were not a very largo number engaged in it. In reference to his statement, the Mayor observed that "he thought he had some of Sir Cracroft Wilson's blood in him on this point." It becomes a question to the reflective mind which is the most to be complimented, Sir Cracroft or the Mayor of Kainpoi. W. C. Bryant is a poet, lie has fixed up a poem of six eight line stanzas on " The Time to Die." W. C. B. selects summer, having apparently, from his verses, a prejudice against frozen mould and icy clods. Very likely he's right. Mr George Sellars tells me the best time to dye is before the nap gets worn right off. He complains most people put off dying too long. I'm surprised Mr Bryant doesn't mention this circumstance as well. Any observant poet must bo struck with the fact that, as a rule, people do postpone their dying much too indefinitely. I know a lot of people here who would appear to much more advantage when biographised, had they passed in their checks ten, even twenty years ago. In accordance with your request, I beg to state, in reference to those wild geese I was talking of the other day, that they were presented to the colony by Thos. Russell, and merely located by Mr Firth. Mr Wnson has not apparently a very high opinion of Australian wine. In his speech on the Land Tax Bill he says, " Australian wine is notorious on account of its intoxicating qualifies, and I feel that it would be a most unwise thing to reduce the duty on it. The Colonial Treasurer would have known this if ;he had read the report of Mr Vizotelly on the samples of Australian wine exhibited at the Vienna Exhibition. He reported that samples of this wine contained an average of 21.77 degrees of proof spirit, reaching up to 25 degrees. The Treasurer wishes, apparently, to enable people to get drunk at a cheaper rate than we can at present. I have heard myself that a headache which results from drinking Australian wine is worse than a headache which results from the drinking of beer or whiskey. I tell the Colonial Troasurer that, in such a matter as this, an ounce of experience is better than pounds and pounds of theory, and recommend him to make the experiment." I trust the Colonial Treasurer will follow Mr Wason's suggestion, and give us the benefit of his experience. Mrßallance has earned a lot of kudos for his financial statement, and if in addition ha could only prove to the New Zealand public that they could now get drunk more easily and cheaper than before, he would indeed be regarded as a benefactor by a large section of the community. How well Australian wines would come in at election times, and though there is a certain drollery about Mr Wason's statement that " it is a most serious matter to allow people to become intoxicated with wine upon which such an excessively low tax will be paid." Still it would be so much cheaper for candidates for any kind of honors. There's a lot to bo said on both sides of the question.

The ideas of new arrivals on our manners and customs here are often very wonderful and curious. As an instance of this the following remarks made at a public dinner table may be adduced—lst New Chum :" I see by the papers that they have been playing Hamlet at the Theatre here." 2nd, 3rd, Ith and sth N.C.'s, " Shouldn't have supposed they'd ever heard of such a fellah hero." N.B.— The impersonator of Hamlet, Mr Chaplin, was sitting exactly opposite, and smole merrily to himself a chuckling smile. A series of quotations, culled from " Hansard,"|of hon. members quotations and allusions, would prove instructive and amusing to the coming generation. Now and then it would be noticed that errors of a curious kind creep into the best meant hyperboles. They are very similar on the other side. It was only the other day that a Tasmanian senator, in describing the roads in the Mersey district, said " they were so diversified that they were like Pharaoh's coat, of many colors." A good speaker, I've, no doubt, but a little shaky in his scripture. According to the "Bruce Herald," a ratepayer who was standing for election to the Borough Council of Balclutha, expressed a belief that if a petition were sent round to get him hanged it would be largely signed. A contemporary, remarking on this, observes, " Balclutha must be a pleasant place." This is possible, but in the present state of municipal affairs here the well-worn phrsse, •itiutata nominee, fabula He to narratur, see.ms to come in as aptly as any quotation from the Latin Grammar I can think of.

Mr Fox ought certainly to bo remembered gratefully by the women of Xew Zealand. In his speech on the Electoral Bill, he enunciated opinions which have certainly the aorit of originality. Women are in man/ roßp.eets equal to men; thoy are equal to men in their minds, in their influence, more than equal to men in inuuencc upon wise legislation or any kind, mpro than man's equal in those sentimonts which have moat influence in promoting the true welfare of a country. They are less liable; te bo debarred from voting accord - iug to their real opinions. They have no cliques, no parties, no over-drawn accounts the bank. If a woman sees a good object fore her, she goes straight at it. WU> oovt of women does the Hon. Fo~ iaaw any how that don't have clr u;,a q,nd parties ? As to the concly.dwg ..ent&uoe, I believe Mr Fox to be 1 I huve often seen it happen. It's been blowing a bit lately. It seems to have gueted harder at Oxford than anywhere else. I learn that a stable was bio,..n completely over a gorso hedg?, a,nd that, a lock-up has disappeared. I hopo the' uergean't who was lookup for it has found it. A Btyangur

vlici wasn't used to nor-westers- might doubt these factß. I don't, but jj'm, ooyry tot the Oxford sergeant, ;t muas bo ao, embarrassing lor bim to fye without, a look-up.