LITERATURE.

Globe, Volume XX, Issue 1390, 30 July 1878, Page 3

LITERATURE.

By Horace Lashbkoke,

MY BETTER ANGEL.

( Concluded.) ‘ Forgive me, forgive me I’ he cried imploringly. * God knows I meant no harm. My intense love, hitherto subdued, overpowered all restraint. Forgive me, I implore you !’ At first I was immovable in my purpose to expose him to my husband; but when he begged and implored of me, with bitter tears, to pardon him for his ill-placed love, the existence of which he most vehemently adhered to and on his promising to quit our house on the following day, never to return, X agreed, led by his insiuations of causing my dear husband unnecessary pain, to remain silent. On the following morning he declared himself fit to travel, assuring Phillips that it was of the utmost importance that he should take his immediate departure. I had, to the best of my ability, endeavored to assume my usual bearing towards him during the few remaining hours of his stay. At last the moment of his departure arrived. I said ‘ Good-bye ’ to him as calmly as I could in my husband’s presence in the dining room, Phillips was to drive him to the station. I shall never forget the sense of relief that came over me when I saw my husband touch the horse with his whip and drive Captain Barnett away. I was a free woman again! I was no longer called upon to play a false part, to assume a liking where with all my soul I felt a loathing. Six o’clock was our dinner hour, and I expected Phillips back early, as it was only two o’clock when he left for the station, and the distance thither was but five miles. How I longed to see him returning alone ! Six o’clock came, but he did not return. Seven, eight, nine, ten! At last X heard the dog-cart on the gravel drive. I ran to the hall door, and threw it open. I saw my husband coming up the steps, and I met him half wav. ‘ Why, darling, how late you are!’ He did not answer me ; he never opened his pale trembling lips. With an iron grasp ha took me by the arm, led me into xhe house, banged the front door bohiu 1 him bercely, and, pushing me into the diningroom, thrust me at arm’s length from him, fixing on me a cruel killing gaze Breathless and bewildered I staggered aga nst the table, my eyes fixed, with what must have been a terrified expression, on my husband’s face. He drew a letter from his pocket, and took it from out the envelope slowly and deliberately. Then he advanced towards me and held the letter out to me. * What have you to say in answer to that ?’ he asked in a solemn voice. I took the letter from his hand, I tried to dash the tears away from my eyes, but they rose thick and fast, and I could not decipher a single line. * .Read, woman, read 1’ he said, pointing to the missive that I held. Once again I struggled to read the words before me, but to no avail. The terrible chillness in his voice and manner was more than I could bear, and reeling back with a heartbroken cry I fell swooning at his feet. When my senses returned I found myself on a sofa, wich my servant at my side. 1 Where is your master ?’ I asked. ‘He’s gene out, ma’am.’ * How long since ?’ ‘ Three hours ago, ma’am.’ ‘Did he leave any message?’ ‘ He loft tins letter, ma’am.’ The girl handed it to me as she spoke. I tore the envelope asunder with a hand rendered steady by desperation It contained two notes —one in the hand of my husband, the other in the hand of Captain Barnett, I read C-iptaiu Ba; nett’s first. It ran thus - ‘ My dear Phil, —I could not have the heart to toll you by word of mouth what I now write, I could not bear to witness your agony. Of course I may judge wrongly ; but my experience tells me other wise. All I say is, watch carefully over your wife’s fidelity.—Yours every faithfully, ‘ Henry Barnett.’ I began to sec through the mystery now. I began to see through the double villany of the man whom I had spared. I turned to my husband’s letter, and read : ‘ When you receive this I shall have gone. When you read the enclo=ed you will know why 1 have gone. Your conduct when 1 handed you Captain Barnett’s letter t°-night confirms the voracity of the suspicions therein conveyed. Proper provision shall be made for your maintenance. May God forgive you; I cannot. Farewell, and for ever. ‘ Phillips Golding : With a groan of agony i. oast the letter from me. Gone ! Gone for ever, with scorn and contempt, with loathing, for me, me his guiltless, his once beloved wife, raging in his breast ! Gone without one word at parting, save the cruel accusation of a crime that never held a place in my innocent heart! 1 tried to think calmly, to draw out in my mind some plan by which 1 might clear myself in his eyes; but the endeavor was totally futile, In leas than two hours the agony of my cruel position had brought on raving delirium. It was fully two months before I recovered from the fever into which this most painful episode in my life had thrown me. During my illness the trustworthy housekeeper had taken full charge of the establishment, and the family adicitar had carried out liberally my husband’s arrangements as to my future

income. The documents wore handed over to me as soon as I was convalescent. He had left more than half bis income at my disposal. , In vain did I endeavour to gain traces of him. /.11 that I could gather was that he had gone abroad, I have tried to avoid further mention of the man who caused this cruel separation. I have tried to subdue all the bitter feeling that rises in my breast while I record these things ; may I be able to do so to the end ! For six months after my recovery I bore my burden as bravely as I could, Holden Hair soothing and encouraging me with her great love In my ravings when ill she had learned the cause of my anguish How frequently did her words come back to me, spoken that evening in my room! ‘ His eyes frighten me.’ It is no exaggeration when I state that my darling was in mind a woman at ten years of age. She had ‘ outlived herself by many a day.’ In some form or other G n d sends us succour in our hardest trials. To some He sends it in the form of self-strength and fortitude ; through the help of friends ; perhaps, though not often, through the aid of relatives. To me He granted it through a little child gifted with reason beyond her years. Even through the soul of my darling sent He His strength unto me. I have said that I bore ray troubles for six months after my illness. Then, and only then, did I utterly break down and fail. Then seemed my burden too heavy to hear. Once let a doubt creep into the mind as to God’s mercy and God’s help ; once let that [blind misgiving enter into the aching heart, then, unless we at once cast it from us as we would a serpent, or unless some more faithful soul leads us back to the forsaken and happy faith, we are irretrievably, hopelessly lost I did let that doubt creep into my sad heart ; I did lose all faith in God’s help I shall never forget the night when my faith died within me I could not sleep, I could not rest. I tried to pray, hut I felt that all my prayers were wasted and in vain. The light of day brought me no relief from my agony of soul. This torture went on for weeks. It vain did my darling try to comfort me. I treated her with something approaching harshness. I should never see my beloved husband again. I should never [have a chance to vindicate my conduct. I was destined to live a lonely wretched life of mental torture, with the maddening fact ever before me that he would never know that I was innocent of wronging him even in thought. Oh, what a hell my life had become ! The weeks had dragged their weary length along, and Christmas-eve was close at hand I had resolved that that Christmaseve should be my last. God forgive me for it! I must have been mad. My darling had grown pale and worn with anxiety. Ido not believe she one moment fell for herself on account of my coldness and neglect. I am ’convinced she thought only of me. Christmas-evo came, and I was as firmly resolved as ever. From my bedroom window I watched the wintry sun go down behind the distant hills. I watched the golden light that he left in his wake grow fainter and fainter, and then ■ I turned to do my work of irreparable evil On the dressing-table stood a small vial containing laudanum. A wine-glass stood beside it With a firm hand I removed the stopper from the vial; and then I poured into the glass sufficient of the poisonous opiate to have killed* - the strongest man living. For a moment I replaced the glass upon the dressing-table. ‘Just one look,’ I cried, peering at my haggard face in the looking glaas, * one last -look at the face he once loved so well. Good-bye, Phillips, my darling, good-bye !’ My wmked hand is stretched out to raise the death-draught to my lips, but as it touches it an agonising cry rings in my ears. Another hand, smaller and dearer than mine, has snatched it from my grasp. ‘ Mother, mother, you must not! Sooner me than you !’ With a wild cry I turn to behold my darling with the poiron in her innocent hands ‘0 God, my child!’ As the words pass my lips, I dash the deadly opiate from her. In an instant her tiny arms are flung around me, her sobs convulsing .her fragile frame. The sight is more than I can bear with calmness—the sight of my unselfish noble child, heartbroken with anguish, teaching me my duty, saving me from a terrible crime ! She has recalled me to my reason ; she has brought back to me my faith ; she has brought back to me that belief, which in forsaking I had lost all. I can bear it cahnly no longer, but lifting her in my arms, I carry her locked in my repentant bosom to the bed, on which I cast myself in a flood of thankful blessed tears. While weeping as if my heart would bretk the door gently opens, and I feel some one’s arm steal round my neck. I start quickly, but ere I can look upward a voice filled with deep emotion falls upon my ear—‘My wife! My darling ! Can you forgive me ?’ I look upward through my tears now, and behold my husband! Captain Barnett had been stricken with a fatal illness, and, on procuring Phillips’ address, had written to him. making full confession of his villauy, and endeavoring to make all the reparation in his power. He owned that the annoyance he felt at meeting with such a rebuff as the one he experienced at my hands, when he had inwardly assured himself that he had succeeded in wishing a guilty affection from me, had prompted him to the cowardly revenge ho had taken. He begged that Phillips would hasten to him, and in person pardon him ere Le died. 1 his last request my husband granted : and Captain Barnett died with his hand in the forgiving grasp of the friend whom he had so s< rely wronged. And so were we united once more —husband, wife, and daughter! Soon alas, how soon ! —the time came when the husband and the daughter were taken, leaving the wife. I have told you the story of my darling, my Golden flair. I have told you how a merciful Providence gave it into her faithful trust to save me anti redeem me. i have told you how God made her to me my better angel. She sleeps well with my beloved Phillips in the little churchyard at the foot of the garden wall; and the time is not far distant, I believe, when I, who sit gazing at their resting-place in the soft twilight, will join them in their tranquil sleep.