LOAFER IN THE STREET.

Globe, Volume XX, Issue 1388, 27 July 1878, Page 3

LOAFER IN THE STREET.

[PKOM THE PBEBS.] There is a deal of education about this country. Wo reek with it. There is probably no community on the face of the known globe so educated as Ave are. The next generation will possess a plurality of scholars who will converse like the characters in “ Friends in Council,” but who won’t know anything about ploughing, digging, or cooking. Sometimes I think I don’t give you my views sufficiently often on the topic of education, and on trio principle that people often come out apparently (he best on topics they know nothing whatever about, I think I've made a mistake in not taking up this popular topic before. I’m not on educated cuss rwself. I feel sure I’m a lot ?b.or*. c! tuition. I was never so nr ,:b convinced. V is as I was the other day I • tu'tc* i ; • u i’\r games of euchre ; in - a conr.ar'.ci- o novice I took up the No. Z.-mauc; ■ id '■ Ay Calendar for 1878. A --.i- -,d f .’r, «v? a*' the examination question- .1 v- Mat I knoAv but little. I ~m at cut (;■ q-’ot. r few of the questions with i v-1 1 at . taid co ' Lr more or less appro- | pi-jato cau'w jr.s. 7 ,: cel that by such illustra- ; hi on* i chi - i< cicog a service to future canhid; tec ty .M degrees. For instance, in nviiii' / oooi Yiigil which is before me, I I meet .v tb j wlion of a line—- ' rvum ardentes agunt. I C Me principle of it being always best to r o f. ••ec translation, I should render the . ' , ae keen poker players pass the buck.” ■ '1 ; mo fascinating game of poker is so well- ' h own throughout Ncav Zealand that even

the examiners themselves would acknowledge the pleasant originality of the translation given above. Another Latin sentence is as follows : —“ Is est enim ille, qui semper senatus judicium et auctoritatera, semper voluntatem vestram potcstatemque contempserit.” This is the English, I should “ fake,” as follows:—“ For this is he who puts his back up against the Assembly.” I have seldom met with a sentence so thoroughly applicable to Sir George Grey as this is, and if the political faith of his examiners were only that of the Opposition, I should be bound by stating this to go through with flying colors. As to the Greek—well, the examiner’s selections are good. I next come to a bit of French, which also reminds mo of the Premier. Here it is ; Je ponrrais commcncer I’doge dc vwn voyage par dire qu’il ne m'a rien coute; cet article mcrite attention. This I should translate as follows —“ I’ve had a very good time on the Hinomoa and in special training, and it didn’t cost mo a cent.” I confess that the next question I will quote is so easy that I wonder at its finding a place in the examination papers at all. The student is requested to “ give a few simple directions for the arrangement of the words in a German sentence.” In the style of Mrs Glasse, I should answer “ Take two handfuls of consonants, •with one or two vowels; mix to taste.” Amongst the English questions, I notice the following : —“Write a short criticism of the literary style of some one English author with whose writings you are well acquainted.” Were I myself a candidate, I am afraid that the opinions with which I should favor the examiner would be far more truthful than pleasant to a number of authors (colonial) with whom I have tho honor of being acquainted. One candidate, I was given to understand, under pledges of solemn secrecy, made it very lively for me in answer to this question. The pleasure of abusing one’s brother scribes is really so tempting that I freely forgave the delinquent. Under tho head of electricity is the following extremely simple question : —“ What is meant by an induced current ? What are the principal ways of producing such a current?” An induced current I take to mean a drink taken with a friend. It costs 6d a current, and tho principal way of producing such a current is to exhibit fluids of a spirituous or beeric character. Then as a corollary to this question tho student is asked :—“ A body is constrained to turn round a fixed axis and is acted upon by a system of forces in a plane perpendicular to that axis; find tho condition of equilibrium.” Tho first part of the above question seems to mo rather a roundabout way of describing the effect of a series of currents ( i,e.) drinks. Under these circumstances, unless the exact number of currents and their force be given, I am unable to see how the candidate could possibly arrive at the condition of equilibrium of the subject acted upon. Here is something good : “What substances are found among the products of tho fermentation of grape juice? Take any one and describe its physical and chemical properties.” Not if I know it would I take any one of the substances after what I have lately heard regarding the adulteration of liquors. I should imagine that one of the physical qualities would be a splitting headache in tho morning. Under the heading of “Heat” appears tho following :

“ How is the conductivity of the body defined ? How is it experimentally determined P” I should think that hitting any one in the eye would be the best practical answer to this question. I confess for a little while I felt staggered with the following questions in what the examiner is pleased to call “Mental Science” : “ What are the circumstances favorable to Sympathy ? Discuss the principal theories of the nature of Beauty.” A friend of mine, however, offers a very natural solution, which is as follows : —Dance with the same lady eight times in the course of the evening ; see her home, and then you will bo enabled to enter upon the second question with something like a knowledge of the subject. The following, which occurs under the head Music, seems to mo to read, like the account of an unfair fight:— (a) The note c' of a piano is struck sharply and released while its lower octave (r) is hold down. (h) (i‘) is struck while {(•') is held down. Describe and explain what will be heard in each case.

Assuming that what is described above takes place on a piano, the result, according to my idea, would be cussed discord. In Political Economy there are several vcry-well-pointed questions. For instance— Are there any circumstances under which a country will import a commodity that she could herself produce at a smaller cost? Yes; in Yew Zealand, Coals- and —Babies, What causes tend to increase the efficiency of labor ?

Paying for overtime, especially on Sundays. I could keep on quoting a hurricane as above, and writing really beautiful suggestive answers for intending candidates, but your space is limited. What I want to say is, that after a perusal of the University Calendar the old man feels kind of pleased that a generation is springing up that can answer questions such as above. But between ourselves we are a bit too thick on education. It’s not the University degrees I’m speaking of; it’s the boys at the country Government schools I mean. Boys who know more about History than Harrows, who are better up in Physical Geography than in Pigs. You bet we are working on theoretical education a lot too much. The boy who makes 190 out of a possible 200 in Geography in a Scholarship Examination, is a smart youth ; but he’d far better bo a good judge of a pig. Ho had really. The following are a few suggestive questions in a less popular —but I’m almost inclined to think a more useful —style;—

1. Can you plough ? 2. Can you kill and dress a sheep ? 3. Can you milk a cow ? 4. Can you mow a bit of grass ? 5. Can you put up a shed ? 6. Can jou shear a sheep ?

7. Can you trim a fence ? 8. Can you harness a team of horses, and do you know liuw to clean and feed them when their work is done ?

9. Can you say “No ” ? Any examinee able to answer the above questions in the affirmative has a great future before him. There is a lot to be said about education. I shall come on to it again soon.