LOAFER IN THE STREET.

Globe, Volume XX, Issue 1365, 1 July 1878, Page 3

LOAFER IN THE STREET.

[fhoh the pbbss.] I take a deal of interest in the progress of this country. 1 have to do so. I may inform you that ray lunch often depends on ray following a slightly paraphrased edition of Mr Hamlet’s advice to his mamma by “assuming a knowledge if I have it not.” I have frequently found far better educated people than myself on the same lay. I never tell them so, I have found it to be a mistake. There are times when the reverse of the policy contained in the above quoted aphorism is the best to pursue, A wise man who could consistently appear very ignorant in his path of life would be a big success, but as you don’t like too long paragraphs, and as I’m not paid by the lino, I had better perhaps resume the topic I meant to start on. I was about to observe that in my position I have frequently to discourse in the well ventilated and beautiful bars of this city, on topics which but for a regular perusal of colonial papers I should be quit# astray on. Thus it is that I read as many journals as I can got hold of, ranging from the “Lyell Argus ” to the “ Church News.” I am not often called upon for an opinion on religious questions, which is perhaps as well for me, I have invariably observed that religious disputes always produce the bitterest altercations, and are invariably started and carried on by people who know nothing whatever of what they are talking about. It is curious how even the best-conducted papers contradict their principles, often without being aware of the fact. I have before me a religious publication which advertises itself as “ a weekly miscellany of religious literature.” It is, I should say, without professing to be a judge, a very excellent periodical, and yet remembering a few observations in the Scripture in connection with usury, there does seem something a little droll in finding advertisements having reference to money to lend at 8 per cent. I’m not surprised at finding a draper’s announcement of the fact that “his bonnets are handsome, stylish, and becoming in shape, while his hats are trimmed with care and great good taste,” because the hats and bonnets are ohurch going necessities, but the 8 per cent, seems a bit too low for genuine Christianity. It is not often anything of a humorous character appears in the Road Board reports. Indeed the sad reflection has often occurred to mo that this portion of your valuable journal does not receive that attention from your readers which its intrinsic merits deserve. The Oxford Road Board, however, recently received a letter from a Mr Josiah Wilcox which is worth reproduction : “ West Oxford, June 14th, 1878. To the chairman and members of the Oxford Road Board. —Gentlemen, —I beg to draw the attention of your Board to the fact of my having fallen by accident into the well situated opposite Mr 1). Fisher’s house, and which has been left unprotected since the time it was made, and in consequence was nearly drowned on the night of the sth of June in that well, and herewith hand an account for costs already incurred, as well as loss sustained by mo. Trusting you will give it some attention, and pay the same as early as possible, and oblige yours truly, Josiah WiICOX. The Chairman and members of the Oxford Road Board, Dr. to Josiah Wilcox —To loss of business, five days, at 12s, £3; one pair of boots cut from my feet, 18s 6d ; one pair of trousers spoiled, £i Is; one umbrella lost in well, 7s fil ; one hat spoiled, 7s 6d ; medicine and attendance, Mr Howard Rtes, £1 ss; medical comforts, 6s 6d ; total, £7 6s 6d.” After some discussion it was resolved—“ That the majority of the Board refuse to receive Mr Willcox’s account.” Josiah seems to have made a mistake in the first place by falling into a well, and a worse one by making his account against the Road Board'too stiffs Josiah, that item of “medical comforts” was too much. 6s 6d means a bottle of brandy. Gin would have sufficed. Your charges for ruined raiment and a lost umbrella are reasonable Josiah, but there is a want of evidence as to the circiirnstanees which induced you to fail into the well, which it seems you were aware had boon loft open since the time it was made. I trust in the present unsatisfactory state of our charitable institutions the above case will be a warning to people who are in the habit of getting into wells. A telegram from Waitnra during the week informed us that “ Enquiries are being made where are the Maoris ? The meeting promises to be a failure.” I’m sorry I can’t inform you where the Maoris referred to by your correspondent are, but I should say probably employing their time in hanging a surveyor or reiying cattle. That the meeting promises to be a failure I can well believe. This statement don’t strain my credulity one little bit, but the last portion of the telegram is awe impelling. “ The Premier is unwell, has his leg resting on a chair.” I trust this state of things will not continue, though I’m not quite so sure whether the Premier with his leg on a chair is not preferable to the Premier, with his foot on the stump. Day by day the immortal Udolpho Wolfe finds fresh imitators. What the Lupine square ginnist has done for Schnapps, others have done for boots, medicine, and goods of all kinds. The following shows that Wolfe principles are permeating into literature ; “A New Novel, by a most Popular Author, will be commenced in next week’s ‘ Budget ’ entitled His Wife’s Judgment. The plot of this charming novel is of the most exciting character, and shows that while we must condemn the sin whicli a jealous woman will commit to win the man she loves, we must sympathise with the tortured heart which worships in silence. Gladie Beaton, the heroine, loves a man who is unconscious of her admiration-; and his indifference only intensifies her burning passion. She resolves to make every effort to win Cyrill Yernon; and when an impulsive woman is influenced by jealousy, she hesitates at nothing. What this jealous woman did to accomplish her purpose is graphically narrated in the touching emotional story of ‘ His Wife’s Judgment,’ which will be commenced in the next number of the ‘Budget.’ ” If that don’t fetch the subscribers of the “ Budget ” what will. I’ll sling you a few similar if you wish. I can either thrill, shock, or fetch weep,s, according to taste and price. A New York scientist has disco,vered that cats whose howls disturb, our midnight slumbers are uniformly found, on .fences running perpendicular, or nearly perpendiculaa, to the earth’s axis. The cause of this behaviour on the part of the cat race has never been ascertained, and the philosopher writes a most scientific essay on the relation between cat concerts and the moon’s orbit. There aye f believe about 800,000,000 miserable liars on the face of this sinful globe, not one of whom is sufficiently hardened in falsehood as to represent to the most credulous of his own species that, he ever killed a oat when engaged in serenading. Any philosopher who coqld devise o, sure means of slaughter for singing oata would rank high among human benefactors, The causes of cat, chants don’t interest much a man who has lest a large section of the family furniture in unsuccessful efforts to hit the causes of his nightly vigils.

I observe that a subject in which I am naturally very much interested has been recently occupying the attention of the City Council. I refer to the question of charitable aid. So far as 1 can understand, we who have been experiencing the care of a paternal GKjrerumeut for bo long, ure to bo turned adrift,

so to speak, to steer through the seas of destitution unaided and alone. True it is that for every pound raised here the Government have offered to add an equal amount; and, assuming that the names of the donators were published, I’m not quite so sure that we should be so badly off after all. There are not a few wealthy people here who are willing subscribers to any cause in which the loading principle is a strict adherence to tire text, which telis us we are to let our lights shine before men. In spite of this there can bo no doubt that the Government is the proper body to administer charity. And this for a reason, strange to say, I have not yet heard advanced. I have never known a Government in any part, of the world who were not charitable even to a large extent to people who I should never oven have suspected of requiring assistance, A fortiori , as the humourous Euclid observes, would they paternally watch over the interests of real paupers. They have got a now Land Bill in Sydney. It seems likely to bo a good thing for that section of the fair sox for which Mr Weller, senior, entertained such a fixed aversion. Under this measure a man with a family can select eighty acres for every child, in addition to his own 640 acres, so that if ho marries a widow with ton children he can take up 1140 acres. Then, if the man have six children of his own, in addition to his wife’s ten, ha can take up no less than 1920 acres. If the man should die, then the widow could marry again, so that a very tolerable estate could bo easily got together. Widows are in great demand if they have families, each child having its value in broad acres. The Act seems a great encouragement to people who are in the habit of having what Mr Ward calls “ episodes.” It’s consoling to think a twin is worth eighty acres. I should say it was the only good thing about it.