VARIETIES.

Globe, Volume IX, Issue 1286, 3 May 1878, Page 3

VARIETIES.

It is becoming fashionable to spray the hair with cologne. Let us spray. Albani says she could sing before she could speak. So can a boy when he is over his mother's knee. Mela.nchjly Reflection. The sluggard is bidden to go to the ant; but, alas ! how often he goes to his uncle. It is too often the case that generosity consists in giving to others what you have no use for yourself. God does not use the noun of multitude, but the personal pronoun. His laws do not refer to your neighbours, but to you. Johnnie and Eddie, Ohio boys, thought a loaded pistol must be a trumpet, and one blew while the other played the keys. Do, ra, mi, fire, so—long, Johnnie. " How shall we utilise the Chinese ?" solicitously inquires a contemporary. They might, replies the "Rochester Courier," be sawed and split and saturated with oil for kindlings, or could be peeled, and the covering made into ear-muffs for indigent Esquimaux j A man of Portsmouth, Pa., was going on a trip with his wife recently, and the train started off very suddenly while he was talking with his friends, He grabbed hold of a woman, chucked her on the train, jumped after her, and away she went fifty miles an hour, with his wife shrieking and tearing her hair on the platform, and a woman he never saw before going into high-pressure hysterics in the car, calling him a monster, and yelling " Save me!" By s a terrible mistake he got hold of the wrong woman, and the conductor, refusing to listen to his explanations, kicked him out of the car, the brakeman chucked him into a ditch, the Sheriff met him before he was half-way back to town and put handcuffs on him, and when at last he got home he saw his business partner holding his wife on his lap, and telling her that there were men in the world who loved her much better than her faithless husband ever did. He says the next time he travels he will walk. Other Worlds.—ln a recently published work, Mr B. A. Proctor, referring to the theory that the size of the presumed inhabitants of the other worlds depends upon the greater or lesser amount of light they receive from the central sun, remarks : " Wolfins asserted that the inhabitants of Jupiter are nearly fourteen feet high, which he proved by comparing the quantity of sunlight which reaches the Jovians with that which we Terrens receive. Recently, however, it has been noted that the larger the planet, the smaller, in all probability, must be the inhabitants, if any ; for if there are two planets of the same density but unequal size, gravity must be greater at the surface of the larger planet; and where gravity is great, large animals are cumbered by their weight. When we get beyond certain limits of height, we get absolute weakness as the result of the increase of weight. Swift's Brob'gnags, for instance, would have been unable to stand upright. Their weight would have been greater in a sixfold greater degree than their strength ; and, so far as their mere weight was concerned, their condition would have resembled that of an ordinary man under a load five times exceeding his own weight. As no man could walk or stand under such a load, so the Brobdignags would have been powerless to move, despite, or rather because, of their enormous stature. Applying the general conditions here enunciated to the question of the probable size of creatures like ourselves in other planets, we see that in Jupiter men should be much smaller, men in Murcury much larger, than men of the earth. So also with other animals."