THE LOAFER IN THE STREET.

Globe, Volume IX, Issue 1275, 20 April 1878, Page 3

THE LOAFER IN THE STREET.

([FEOSI THE PRESS.] A man I know had a bit of money left him. He decided to go and speculate in New Caledonia. He went, and came back after a stay in that island of one brief week. On his return a friend ventured to suggest that he could scarcely have given the place a fair trial in so short a time. “ Well, he replied, “I walked all over Noumea, and could not gee or hear of one person hailing from Judea or Scotland there. I therefore thought it was not good enough for me to settle there.” It was a sensible conclusion to arrive at. The people of both the above nations are pretty clever. When you see them leaving a place you pact up vour type and start away too. You can bet it’s time. The Scotch are leaving home just now, according to Sir William Stirling Maxwell, to escape the pressure of a too high class education, just us they emigrate from other countries to escape military conscription. I don’t know whether we arc to take a lesson from this, but there are times when one is even here reminded of the oft quoted aphorism of Mr Pluebus that reading and writing are very injurious to education. There are also times when one feels impressed with the fact that in ten years time w'e shall all know so much that there won’t be a girl in Hew Zealand who can boil a potato, or a boy who can clean a boot. There are periodical complaints here of danu.ge done to books in the Public Library, of journals being clipped, of books disappearing. These little peculiarities are not it appears confined to public libraries for a circular has been issued by the chairman of the Library Committee of the House of Assembly, referring to a considerable number of missing books. The names which are published convey the impression that hou. members employ such leisure hours as they devote to literature in reading as varied as it must, in a Parliamentary sense, be instructive. In the published list I find “ Peter Simple,” “The Jesus of History,” “Rossetti’s Poems,” “ Godolphin,” and “ Les Contes Drolatiques.” I have been reading the financial statement of Okuma Shigenobu, Esq., Minister of the Tycoon of Japan, It’s quite a pattern in the way of statements. The quotation beneath is worth the consideration of those who frame such documents in other countries besides Japan “ I would earnestly beg of you that a decree may be published restraining the various departments and government offices from exceeding the amount of the estimated expenditures for the year, and that, in all cases where it is practicable, the expenditures may be as much as possible reduced below the figures in the estimates, so that the government without breaking faith with the people, shall he able to meet all demands when they fall due. This is the prayer of Shigenobu to all the ministers. “ Long threatening comes at last. —In the necessity o of the clearing out of the wardrobe, the oldest clothing establishment in Tasmania, 34, Murray street, the proprietor, from old age and sudden ill-health, being left almost afone after fifty years in business, and nearly twenty-nine years in the wardrobe, which was at one' time considered a little goldfield, and realising in profits £6OOO per year, which our books can show ; and may occur again from the present prosperous appearance of Tasmania ”

There appears to be something a little oblique about the grammar of the above, but the aged proprietor, after his fifty years’ experience, evidently knows something about advertising. Mr Yarley, the reverend revivalist, who has been playing recently the highest of preaching jinks iu Tasmania, has got into hot water for sajing that the Press were in the habit of publishing a tissue of lies. When Yarley comes around lure I must talk to him about this, but old stager as I am in the paths of credulity, I can hardly get. the beneath down: —“ The remains of the chief Tarapipipi still lie in state at the settlement, about t welve miles inland from the Piako, where he lived and died. The tangi has now lasted twelve days, and yet the near relatives of deceased, who are not supposed to take any food so long as the tangi continues, show no signs of breaking down under the painful ordeal.” I’m glad tangis ain’t fashionable here. Twelve days! A religious fast of twelve hours beats most of them in these parts, A very large deputation of English scholars and philologists recently waited upon the Duke of Richmond, urging the appointment of a Royal Commission to enquire into the subject of British spelling with a view to reforming it in the interests of education. Several most distinguished authorities spoke most strongly in favor of phonetic spelling and his Grace promised to give the matter his careful consideration. J should say phonetic epelling will come in before you and I are many years older, aud judging from correspondence I have occasion ally the honor of perusing what, a sweet boon that will be to ninety out of 100 people who write in AngloSa*on language J Among the other many gifts the Premier ia about to show on a grateful people, I wonder that, in such an ignorantly educational country as this, he did not make capital out of phonetic spelling. To give you an idea of phomtic spelling I will just quote a eentence of the Premier’s speech here in the etyle it will read when quoted in “ Hansard” a few years hence : —“ If Udo wot I have sketched out for U this evening, U will C that a grate nashon wii arize and for all time you will be revrensed as the founders of a grate nashon. I have seen menny koluies and I may say that no kolny has had such opportewuiries as this in the matter of soil, klimat, and peepie,” Gnd on U Gorge, but if U pul the ropes muteh longer the klimat wil B the only thing left. The soil wil B blewed and the people broke or left. “ How to Fascinate and gain the respect, admiration and undying love and affection of anyone you wish. Messrs Henry, late of Liberty street, New York, purchased the secret for 100 dollars. I will send it to any address for six stamps, J. Henry, 42 Cooper’s road, Old Kent road, London.” I publish the above advertisement from an English paper, without the least apology. Mr Henry, the philanthropist, who speaks as above, has already secured my respect and admiration for offering such a priceless boon (for the price of a pint of beer) to a world where respect is rare, admiration raver, and, so far as the old man’s experience goes, undying love unknown. If straight, it’s the best tip I ever came across. There are so many people here—commercial people and others whose affection I should like to possess. My six stamps go to the Old Kent road, London, England, first mail. We have known our old friend Te Kooti in many different phases, his best platform being, I should say, that of a high-class murderer. I learn from the North Island papers that he has now assumed a new character, that of a worker of miracles and healer of maladies. Maoris from all parts visit Kooti and return cured. It is satisfactory to learn that T. K. is taking up a peaceful profession, but I should not care to have him for a medical adviser myself, and those who know the Natives best appear to think we shall have to pay presently pretty heavily for Kooti’s pharmaceutical amusements.

There are about as many religious papers in this town for its population as any place I ever visited. What sort of a speculation they are commercially I know net, but in America at present such journals aro scarcely good goods, not when considered from a trade point of view. The “ Christian Advocate,” published in New York, thus dashes itself at a subscriber who resigned his connection with that journal: — “If you allow your “Christian Advocate” to be stopped, and all others should follow your example, of course you would utterly stop the publication of religious papers and literature, and abandon the field for the arch enemy. Brother, can you afford to (strike civil society such a fatal blow for two dollars seventy cents Judging from what I hear of onr subscriptions in this place against the arch enemy, it would need a stronger appeal than even the above to knock two dollars seventy cents out of any of our brothers. The Governor has recently been seeing Maori life on the Thames. His Excellency opened a road there and there were speeches made and festivities were underwent. In replying to the speech of the Governor the (jiuefj Kiwai (« Kiorej concluded Ids option

as follows :—“ The words spoken are good. Greetings to you. . Welcome Governor. Welcome Father. Welcome Mr Sheehan. God bless the two races. May you live for ever and the Maoris too!” Not being a Native Commissioner I cannot conscientiously aflirm that I join in the last wish of the gay chieftain. I think a limit may be assigned to the duration of even such a noble race as the Maoris. They are an eloquent race, but I never read of their greeting a white man without being reminded of Mr Ward’s Indian friend who embraced him, called him his white brother, and during the evening stole his horses, scalped his organ grinder, and “ skooted with a wild hoop.”