THE LOAFER IN THE STREET

Globe, Volume IX, Issue 1255, 27 March 1878, Page 3

THE LOAFER IN THE STREET

e> [I'BO-M THE PUESS.] The art of painting seems to be improving every day, and it in pleasing to see how deftly a contemporary writer notices the work of a fellow townsman, who, it appears, is as successful witli the brush as with the camera. " No long dreary ' sittings' arc necessary, one or two brief interviews being nil that is required. In the cose of relatives deceased —if the curie is preserved—a careful description, and if convenient, a lock of hair, will be sufficient to enable Mr to produco a portrait of any size, startling in its life-likeness. We trust our readers will avail themselves of the opportunity of securing for their children heirlooms they will appreciate, and of at the same time evincing their approbation of the enterprise and ability displayed by ourfellowtownsmuu." Fancy the talent of an artist who can evolve "a portrait of any size, startling in its life-likeness, out of a lock of hair. A curious question arises to the enquiring nund. Whether the lock of hair, assuming the deceased to he of the fair sex, muct necessarily be homo grown. It seems rather an important question, 100, in these times. At a recent meeting of the Ashburton school committee a letter was read from a gentleman in Dunedin applying for the oiiicc of assistant master. The writer concluded his letter by slating his height, age, and state of single blessedness. It seems a pity that a writer who possessed such original views of the qualification of a scholastic official should, as the " Mail " informs us, have in his communication a defective knowledge of syntax. This episode remiuds me of the individual who recently sent in an application to the Acclimatisation Society for the cilice of gamekeeper. As qualifications likely to knock tlja) distinguished body, ]ic mentioned that he had been a waiter in an hotel, and was for two years verger in an Episcopal Church. Au English paper says:—" The price of a human jaw at the seat of war in Bulgaria is lOf., more or less. In Paris the quotation is 50 per cent, greater at wholesale rates." Jaw is far cheaper hero. From the " Church Gazette " I quote the opinions of a reverend Maori on the functions of ministers' wives. "Paul," says the pastor, " speaks with a certain sound, ' wives be in subjection to your husbands ;' and again, 1 what knowest thou wife whether thou shaft save thy husband r" A minister's wife should conduct herself circumspectly to be an example to other women and a help to her husband. A ship's mast will not stand without rigging ; you must be the rigging for the mast; you must act as stays." Does the rev. gentleman mean nautical stays or—let us say other thjngs of that sort I The preacher prefaced his remarks by observing that his own wife was not thpre- It would be as well if he sent the " Church Gazette " similar instructions about this number to those given by Mr A. Ward to the " Baldiusville Journal " under like circumstances. Now what dpes this mean ? Reply to Challenge. jVf r S.—Sir, —I am sorry to inform you that I cannot waste time with you, but to giyo you the opportunity of distinguishing your talent I will back my charwoman for one week to sell against you for the sum, of (jvc pounds (£5). If accepted, apply at my olitee. CHABLKB HkNBY WII.IvINSO.V. George street, Dunedin. 1 treat it as a conundrum, and give it up with the one remark, that frqm my experience of the lady's profession I should lie disposed, albeit, in utter ignorance of the nature of the competition, to back Mr Wilkinson's nomination. During a recent performance of Mr Lytton Sothern in Oamaru, an unrehearsed effect was produced in the course of the representation of " David Garrick," through the ill-regulated zeal of the public crjor and. bellman of the town, To enhance the attraction of the entertainment, Mr Sothern had been advertised to appear in two pieces that evening, which fact had been duly impressed on tho the mind of the local tintinnabulist with a view to its proclamation through the streets. An excellent house was the result; but the too eonscientkms bellman, anxious to do justice to his employer, continued to vociferate in stentorian tones—"Mr Sothern in two pieces" after the first of them had commenced. The effect was rather startling as the sonorous voice of the crier was distinctly audible ' to the audience within the theatre.' Ti.e consequence was that when Mrs J. L. Hall, as Ida Ingot, 6\voro undying fidelity to hey joyer, if, was coupled with the confusing statement from the bellman that Mr Sothern wa3 at that moment in two pieces., a division of his individuality, which, although interesting anatomically considered, was calculated to create a nervous fooling in tho mind of the object of his affection. Fortune is about to pour her favors right into the lap of the tradesmen of this city. A benefactor with the puree of Fortunatus has appeared, and issued a manifesto which, although slightly incoherent, still teems with rich promises of profit and advantage. AU are (o to iu tfce bwisvcJejit eclwae qi Ben,

Alhih, the gift autocrat of America. Ho invites furniture dealers, grocers, dealers in dry goods, gold and silver, tinmen and watchmakers, pianoforte makers and organ builders, wood and coal yard proprietors, dealers in Queen's ware (whatever that may be), wooden ware (does that include the nutmeg of imposture ?), silver ware, widow ware, and every other ware, to send their addresses to the post office, in order to share in the benefits of the Autocrat's patronage. The Autocrat, is a ventriloquist and illusionist, and rewards his visitors with presents which he makes a point, of purchasing in the town in which he is performing for the time being. Hence his encyelopn'diecircular. Only fancy the magnitude of his largesse, which ranges from a ton of coals to a grand piano, embracing as minor inducements such triflos as wooden spoons, pap boats, bibles, suites of furniture, greenbacks, church organs, pie di*!ics, and carpets! The express drivers will also have their little innings in carrying away the nightly gifts of the generous Ben Allah. Ft is to be hoped, however, that his ability as a ventriloquist is not eclipsed by his talent as an illusionist, or that the last speciality bears no reference to the donation feature of the programme. Married. Briggs—Mnguire—ln this city, Jan. sth, at the residence of the bride's father, by Rev. Father Hermann, Capt. Robert Brings, of San Francisco, to Miss Eugenia, eldest daughter of Mr James W. Maguire, of Honolulu. [The printers acknowledge a present of cake, and wish every happiness j The above is from the " Pacific Commercial Advertiser." It strikes one as very original, and very pretty. I have taken the liberty of showing it to several printers connected with your establishment. They inform me thai they think it would he a nice custom to initiate here; but, always supposing it's the same to the bridegrooms, they prefer drinking the health of the bride to eating it. They further gave mc to understand that they are quite prepared to be joyful or sympathetic with any one bringing in a Birth advertisement on the same terms.