VARIETIES.

Globe, Volume IX, Issue 1252, 23 March 1878, Page 3

VARIETIES.

" Puck" says that when four women are walking abreast on the pavement will break ranks for* nerthing but a man with a paint-pot. It is said there are 400,000 feather* upon the wing of a silkworm moth, and that anyone doubting the truth of the statement can easily satisfy himself by counting them. A young lady of Clinton, 111., sent twentyfive cents and a postage stamp in reply to an advertisement of " How to make an impression," and received for an answer : "Sit down on a pan of dough." Faith is sometimes personified as a drenched female clinging to a sea washed rock ; but a better personification would be a baldheaded man buying a bottle of patent hairrestorer. ' mmmm

A lady correspondent says that girls should cease to be kissed by their gentleman friends when they put on long dresses. We never kis<=ed anybody in our life, but we'd just like to know what difference the length of the dress makes.

A Hint foe Wives.—A woman who has tried the experiment says, " When a man finds a place that is pleasanter to him than his own home, his wife should put extra lumps of sugar in his coffee, and double the quantity of sunshine iu the front room." It is no use to attempt to catch an ablebodied mouse with a knock-kneed pair of tongs. Just as you have got the mous* sure and are bringing him to judgment, the tongs give way, and the joyful mouse scampers gleefully off, as glibly as a scholar rushes for the table at a Sunday school festival. There's nothing to exceed the diabolical satisfaction a man will take in announcing to his wife, after he has got his shirt on, that there is a button missing, and the keen delight he feels in seeing her danoe around the room after a needle and thread, while she listens to a lecture on infernal carelessness, approaches ecstacy. But look out when she gets that button on, bites the thread off with a snap, and commences—- " There now—"

The boy stood by the stable-door, And watched the pensive mule; A thoughtful attitude it wore, An air serenely cool. The boy approached his hinder endLet fall the pitying tears ; " He's gone to meet his brother, and His age was seven years." At an evening party lately a gentleman came up and spoke to the ex-Chancellor of the Exchequer. In the crowded room, Mr Lowe, who is very nearsighted, mistook him for Mr Mundella, the member for Sheffield. Mr Lowe replied in a very cold, curt manner, on which the gentleman rejoined, " I don't thiuk you recognise me, Mr Lowe ?" "Oh yes, I do ; I've seen too much of you in the House of Commons." " Whet, pray," quoth the astonished gentlemen. " Why only yesterday." "That's impossible; I wasn't in England yesterday. I m the King of the Belgians." A tramp came down a dusty road, and sat down to rest on the steps of a house in a quiet village street. Through the windows the voices of a man and woman in violent alterca ion were heard, and the tramp listened intently. Angry words, and occasionally the sound of something thrown came to his ears, and he could hardly sit still. At last, evidently, the wife nad taken a broom, and the blows fell fast and furious. Our tramp could stand it no longer, but, rushing round to the side door, darted in, and stepping between the loving pair, cried in a husky voice, " Give us a clip or two with the broom, old woman; it seems just like old times." No matter how much we wander, the old home feeling will get us once in a while. Chinese women have no sense. Every night they pray to their gods to change them into men. Oh, foolish women! By the time you have walked a mile and a half out of your way in the mud and rain, dived down eleven alleys, and rambled through three lumber yards on your way to the office, in order to keep out of the way of men who were looking for you to dun you, you would be happy to sit at home behind closed shutters and locked doors in an upstairs room and sew all day. Want to be men, indeed!