THE LOAFER IN THE STREET.

Globe, Volume IX, Issue 1252, 23 March 1878, Page 3

THE LOAFER IN THE STREET.

E#ROM DHfi fBBSS.J tie Was a good and aged man. He was well versed in collecting and expCrlehtiea in church iiiatters. £e lived up cotjntry not eighty miles from this metropolis: The parish had made additions to the village dhiir'cli. The subscriptions on the seventh day did not roll in with amplitude, His soul was sad within him. He was returning from the local railway office and, as he gloomily dragged himself along, he moaned in a pathetic whisper to himself, " That's twenty-nine times I've been to that railway With a pound's Worth of threepenny bits, and Changed 'em for notes to strangers leaving the place, tttid still every Suttday there's not a coin above a threepenny in the feag; Do they grow in this parish, or how is it at all?" . And smiting with his bucolic fist the pent house of his thoughtful brdirij he passed oh tti his porcirie meal, "A Bill," says the L.>iiddn" TirW' "has" recently passed the Legislature of New Zealand having for its object the protection of the indigenous birds of the country, of which any specimens Still remain. Among the rarer native varieties included in tile" schedule are the ibis, lyre bird, Batin.bird,. arid Bower bird, But robins, wrens; finches, larks, water rails, arid cuckoos, are al.io plaesd tjndefth'e protective clauses of the Act." The Bill alluded to will be quite news to those few of our legislators who have any recollection as to what Bills were passed during the session; and the casual reader will agree with me in thinking that many of the above-mentioned birds are indeed very rare here. A Southern contemporary recently made the following, suggestion to school committees :—" We cannot refrain frorii Urging the devoting of a certain part of the day to the reading of the newspaper in the boys' school. We do not say this should be done in each class, but in the upper ones it would be most beneficial. The rising generation of to-day will become the men of the future, and many a young man would, in after years, when he gradually rises up the ladder of fame in the political history of his country, look back with pleasure upon the pleasant half-hours spent when the labors of the day were over, in reading each day's history, political and social, and the comments made thereon by his masters.", , A master who tried the experiment sends the following result of the trial. He started in on a Sir George Grey leader, and was running on "As to the new Land Bill we are promised, the utterances of the Ministry are of the vaguest character, and we venture to assert that few of Sir G. Grey's followers have the faintest idea of what the Premier wishes to become law," Here Bilkine, a versatile boy, got up and remarked, " Father says Sir George Grey's a " Here a smug-faced youth next to him pulled Bilkins back into his seat, and the master gave a reading from the report of the ram fair, in the course of which the reporter's views were put forth, to the effect that Mr Smith's pen of Romney Marsh sheep were without doubt the finest ever seen on the ground. Here Bilkinß again jumped up, and remarked " Father says Smith's rams ain't worth five bob a head." Again did his smug-faced friend interfere by force to save him from the probable results of this interruption of the reading, and again did the master resume, this time with an account of a tea meeting interspersed with vocal items, Here a Miss Lento was credited with having sung "Strangers yet" with characteristic taste and expression. For the third time did Bilkins rise to observe, " Father says she ain't got no more idea of singing than a cuckoo haS of baking scones.' He hurriedly resumed his seat, and as hurriedly left it, made one bound to the door, and quitted the scholastic pile with a shriek. The master made a strict inquiry into the case, and on being hard pressed the smug-faced boy said in a shy voice, "Please, sir, I think Bilkins has gone to see if his father knows anything of the effect of pins in the human body. I'm afraid he's got two big 'uns buried in him somewhere." The smug-faced boy still survives, but its a very sore survival, and he thinks he'll get finished with his impositions about the end of next month—if he has luck.

It must be gratifying to the Premier in his triumphal tour round the colony to find that hiß efforts are collaring the sympathies even of the school children. The following address was presented to him in Goldsborough : " To the Hon. Sir George Grey, K.C.8., and Premier of the Colony of New Zealand—May it please your honor, we, the undersigned, on behalf of the pupils attending the Goldsborough State School, recognising the incalculable benefits your disinterested efforts for legislative reform will have on the future of this great Colony, take this opportunity of according you a hearty welcome to Westland as the representative of the people; and pray that you may be spared for many years to guide the state ship into a haven of security. Signed, &c." I have frequently heard before of sohool children, flushed with the enthusiasm resulting on a holiday, presenting a bible to the obtainer. The Duke of Edinburgh, for instance, was several times so favoured. But infantine political addresses are, I believe, almost unheard of, and I was, on reading the above, puzzled to account for it. All things, however, come round to him who will but wait, and after reading the Premier's Dunedin speech the unwonted fervour of the Goldsborough children is easily accounted for. "Every little child in New Zealand," says Sir George, "in wanting a plum pudding, or shoes, or the doctor in times of illness pays its contributions to go into the pockets of wealthy men. I say that every man, every woman, every child in the country is irobbed of a surplus sum, which goes into the pocket of the rich squatter." Thus eloquently does Sir George cast his head, or rather his pudding, on the waters to come back to him as above. It's rough on the squatters though. Next election some miscreant will be asking a squatting candidate, " Who stole the kid's duff?"

"There is not a single masted ironclad building in any of the Government yards at the present moment," observes the "Daily News "of October 19th," and it would seem as if the Admirulty had decided to abandon this type of battle ship altogether." I should think it very likely. I learn from your columns that they are thinking of starting a Women's Mutual Improvement Society in Auckland, an example which will possibly be followed here. I belonged to a Young Mens' I. S. once. I was not long a member. We discussed one evening the subject, "Was the execution of Charles I. justifiable? " and owing to chairs and inkstands being introduced into the argument I lost faith in Mr Stuart. They introduced foreign matters into the discussion, and as Mr Claverhouse aptly observed, —

" Ere the king's crown went down. There were lots of crowns broke." I have never sought improvement since. As to a Women's Mutual Improvement Society I scarcely think it would work well here. It's true that our feminine scandal is crude and sadly wanting in that originality which usually distinguishes the remarks of the fairer sex, but I notice it improves daily in this respect. The fact is there is a difficulty in the way of the establishment here of such a society as the above, and that is there are only —so I'm told by one who ought to know — three women in the place who think they are

capable of feeing improved at all, and they are not quite capable of nctififf on a conviction which, after all, is only half eßt-bhsheff. " Stone walla do not a prison make Nor iron bars a cage."

. I'fe always considered the poet who wrote the above feiceeded efeii the outside bounds ot the license which persists are etippesed to be allowed. Vfk always n found,_ a gaol-out there's no good in beaming personal to myself. What I was about to fsm'atfkjWaa that there is a gentleman in the North Island who is at present in a position to state whether the poet be correot or not. He is in for fraudulent insolvency, and a petition for his liberation is being numerously signed. It has an Ugly Sotindj this adjective, in front of insolvency, and f shoufd imagipe that if he be released a good many more nice people ■who are confined indoors at present ehotdd be entitled to a like clemency. It may be, however, that there are circumstances in nection with his case which make it a hard one 1 * and I. only allude to it. 88 a preliminary to expressing my opinion' that petitions, as a rule, are humbug—more especially those having reference to granting a public-house license. A friend of mine recently confided to me he had signed two petitions—one in fatof of a license being granted and the other against it. He put his autograph to the former becaUße the applicant was a friend who plagued him continually on the subject j and he signed the' fatter because " the old woman and the family ar<* all 0003 Tempers, and I dursn't refuse." Besides, who is to know, in a big petition, if there are not scores of dummy signatures P It is, as old Jummins says, one of the prettiest, and at the same time, one of the simplest forms of forgery.