VARIETIES.

Globe, Volume IX, Issue 1244, 2 March 1878, Page 3

VARIETIES.

A stranger stopping at one of the hotels asked the proprietor what the people lived on. “We, said the proprietor,— “why wo live ou oysters and strangers.”—“New Bedford Mercury.” The firm but gentle hornet has shut np his summer cottage and gone into retirement. for the winter. His last words were, “Wake me up when the first picnic starts out next spring.” During a thunder-storm two dogs that howled dismally at night were struck by lightning and killed; Howling dogs should cut this out and paste it in their hats. “ Norristown Herald.” A good little boy who was kicked by a mule did not say naughty words or go home crying to his mother. He just tied the mule within five feet of a beehive, backed him round to it, and let him kick. The coldest storm wave of the season was experienced by a young man from Syracuse, who escorted an East Rome girl home Sunday night, and was dot cted hy her father just as he was putting his moustache where it would do her the most good.— “ Rome Sentinel.” A free and easy actor passed three festive days at the seat of the Marquis and Marchioness of without any invitation, convinced that my lord and lady, not being on speaking terms, each would suppose—as proved to be the case—the other had asked him. The farmer who thought to demoralise a field of potato bugs by planting rows of onions between the rows of potatoes is not feeling so smart as he was. When he saw the bugs crawl off the onion tops and chew cardamom seeds for their breath before attacking the next row of potato vines, he wont into the woodshed and gave way to his feelings. Bells were first brought into use by St. Paulinus, Bishop of Nola, in the Campania of Rome; hence a bell was called No'as or Campagna. At first they were called saints ; hence toe-saint, or toc-sin in process of time. But Pliny reports that many ages before his time bells were in use, and called Tintinabnla, and Suetonius says that Augustus had one put at the gate of the Temple of Jupiter, to call the meeting of the people. That Mr Tennyson is sensitively reluctant to be lionised is well known ; but I think there is something very funny in the following incident: —A young lady—a veracious young lady - was walking in the country lanes close to one of the Laureate’s residences, when she met a gentleman, who, at her approach deliberately took out a handkerchief a r d spread it over his face Having had no intention of starb’g at the stranger, she marvelled at the evident measure of defence, and hurried past, not without trepidation ; but the daughter of Eve, of course, turned round before he was out of sight, and beheld Mr Tennyson going on his way unveiled. A Colloquial Actor —Macready was one of the most careless actors at rehearsals, and was often an enigma to the country actors. At one time he was playing Virginius, in which h s natural and colloquial style threw the actors off their guard. One in particular imagined the “star” to be addressing him in familiar conversation. For instance, the lines “ Do not wait for me to lead Viginia in ? Or wiU you do so ? ” Were spoken very naturally, and the actor replied, “Oh, I don’t mind, Mr Macready? Just as you like—the way they do it in London.” Another instance occurred when he was rehearsing “William Tell.” The line was, “Do you ehoot ?” “A little,” was the answer; “but I don’t fancy them cross-bows, Mr Macready, though I’m fond of a gun.” An honest farmer once led his two turkeys into his granary, and told th m to eat, drink, and bo merry. One of these turkeys was wise, and one foolish. The foolish bird at once indulged excessively in the pleasures of the granary, unsuspicious of the future ; but the wiser fowl, in order that he might not be fattened and slaughtered, fasted continually, mortified his flesh, and devoted him-elf to gloomy reflections upon the brevity of life. When Thanksgiving-day approached the farmer killed both turkeys, and by placing a stone iu the interior of the prudent turkey made him weigh more than his plumper brother. Moral—Be happy while you may. The acting consul, in his annual report to the Board of Trade, gives an account ot the manufacture of bird-lime in Japan. This sticky substance is made in large quantities in the south of Japan ; the habitat of the trees which furnish the material and the uses to which the article is applied are numerous. It will catch birds as large as duck's and animals as large as monkeys. The consul saw a flea-trap, to be used in bed, consisting of a piece of board, with the lime spread over its upper surface, over which were semi-circles of bamboo to prevent the bedding from getting smeared with the lime, the whole looking like an English toast-rack ; insects once getting on the board cease from troubling.

A Brave \oung Bride.- From out of the distress there sprang a singular case the other day. A young native bride, while going h me, was attacked by three armed men, close to Sandila, Zilla Hardui. Her husband had gone a mile or so in advance, and when her bearers threw down her “ doolie” and ran away, she was left alone to face the robbers. They demanded her jewellery and trinkets “at once,” and she gladly made them over. They then desired her to descend and denude herself of her silken upper and nether garments She seemed to aoqui see ; but after a time told thorn she had inextricably Knotted the waistband, but if thay turned away their faces so as not to shock her modesty, and lent her a sword, she would soon cut away the “ Gordian Knot” of her difficulties. To this the three knaves agreed, and ou her turned their backs, when she (brave little “puss”) sprang out of the “doolie,” cot off one robber’s head, all but a strip of skin ; cut down tha second with a neat chop along the face and neck ; and so furiously attacked the third, that he then ran away with such trinkets as he then had in his band. All this was done by a young! girl of barely fifteen years of age! Hurra! for our “ Brave little Maid of the MAI!” And af'er the “slaughter” she remained in her “doolie” until her husband, who had been sent for by her, had arrived; when the “ happy pair” brought “ the dead and dying” to the tebsil, whence they were sent on to Hurdui, 17th August, 1877. The mo't singular thing is that the dead roan and the dangerously wouded one are both Passie chokidars of the village from whence she started, and it would" setem her marriage dowry was the bait.