THE LOAFER IN THE STREET.

Globe, Volume IX, Issue 1223, 4 February 1878, Page 3

THE LOAFER IN THE STREET.

[FBOM THE PBBSS.] The fens of New Zealand are somewhat limited. In point of fact the wild pig is the only representative we have. Pighunting is a sport occasionally attended by disastrous results. A young gentleman recently arrived from home went up on a visit to a station. He wished a pighunt. His soul burned to slay the lusty boar. Accompanied by the owner of the station he sallied forth to accomplish this feat. On their way to the camp, the station owner entertained the new arrival with harrowing details of the ferocity of the animal of which they were in quest. He gave the new chum to understand that it was a prevailing characteristic of the wild sus to rush the camp of the unwary traveller during the dead hours of the night. With such cheerful anecdotes he beguiled the way. Subsequently they camped, supped, and retired. When all was still, and the new arrival was asleep, the squatter stole out to play pig. He played it thus. From the outside of the tent he thumped the quiescent form of the sleeper, and grunted. The whole thing was a big success, for at the fourth thump the sleeper awoke, and drawing out his pig knife drove it with the energy of despair through the squatter's log. Such is the force of credulity, thought the squatter, and then ho remembered a number of euphonious words he had once heard a shearer use. He used these up rapidly and wished his inventive genius had been equal to producing a few more. At this juncture the hunt ceased. In a township down South the following notice was recently posted in a conspicuous pl ace ._« The Primitive Methodist Church intends holding a camp-meeting near the library on . Several speakers will undress the meeting in the morning and afternoon. A love-feast will be held in the Temperance Hall at half.past six in the evening." We may safely infer from the above that there were no breeches in the camp. M. Victor Hugo recently addressed the following letter to Mdlle. Sarah Bernhardt on the morrow of the revival of " Hernani" at the Francais .-—"Madame, you were great and charming. You moved me—me the old campaigner ; and atone time when the public, affected and enchanted by your genius applauded, I wept. This tear which you produced is yours, and I hasten to lay it at your feet—ViCTOn Huao." Mr V. H. has given us many a pleasant hour, but here he gives us a new tip, if I may be allowed the expression, in the field of romance. In the future, instead of Bending a lock of hair, which by the way just now is a very unreliable souvenir, the fond lover or the trusty friend may enclose a tear. On mature rejection, it would be as well to make it say eight or nine. These affectionate secretions will dry, that's the worst of them. The following original order was, I understand, received at the Pkeßß office by the last mail j— <( To Digester of principal journal of Christchuroh, Nouvelle Zelande. Caen, 4 Decembre, 1877. Sir,—l you pray to my address one No., as specimen of your journal. Pleasp iq not tc fraujk your joyrnaj, yj effect,

impossible to my send stamps of enfranchisement of New Zealand, and I not wish you spent any thing. I am with respect and gratitude your servant." Th« above contains about as much idiomatio inuocence as it is possible to crowd into a few lines, though I confess that I do not thoroughly understand what your Gallic correspondent wishes to convey. Write and tell him that you will not spend more than you can help on him, and say yon don't keep a "digesfor." No human bring 13 possessed of sufficient ability to swallow half that appears in your journal, let alone digest it. The Wellington correspondent of a contemporary in commenting on the prospects of the Wellington Cup thus writes :—" There are fourteen acceptors, all from well known stables, and including the most celebrated horses in the colony. To win this race by arrangement, as so many races are won in New Zealand, will be impossible in a field representing so many interests,'' Are we to infer thai unless a moderately large number of animals start for a race there must of necessity be a swindle on. I trust this is not the meaning of the writer, because my belief in the morality of the turf is one of the few allusions of a long lost youth I have endeavoured to cling to. " To hero bound for mortal strife, Or bard for martial lay, 'Twere worth ten years of peaceful life, One glanco at their array." I have often been reminded of the above when witnessing the evolutions of some of our brave defenders. And yet volunteering is not quite what it should be. I gather so much from many facts which have come under my observation, but am reminded of it more especially just now by the following letter received by the commanding officer of a volunteer company, and which I quote from a Southern contemporary : "January 22, 1878. The Secretary of the to tender my resignation (though I daresay Buch a course is scarcely necessary, as I have not been sworn in) from the above Company. My reason for doing so is briefly stated. Coming events though not exactly the Russo-Turkish struggle, as I frust I shall be always willing (perhaps a little more than able) to do my humble best in defence of my country in time of need—cast their shadows before, and I am obliged to confess that in time of peace my zeal, patriotism, and means —and especially the latter, cannot run the length of a £ suit of war paint, and the spectacle of the majority of the Company, gay and gorgeously got up, with a sprinkling of duffers in forlorn-looking trim, though it might add to tho picturesqueness of the Company, would, in my humble opinion, mar the general effect; so you will see that if I cannot make a sacrifice one way I can another. I have left my arms, &c, with Sergt.-Major M'Pherson, but what is left of me has gone to the Empire to drown its sorrows in a colonial ' deep-sinker.'—l beg to remain, with all due respect.—Yours, &c. The gentleman who advertises as below is certainly a man of universal accomplishments :

" John Spittle, Fruiter and Fishmonger, Tapanui. Parcels delivered at any address in the district. Fresh Fish twice a week. Hides and Sheepskins bought. N.B. — Chimneys Swept." But the patronymic is a little suggestive—at least for some of his professions. They have recently been opening a railway up North. Naturally they had a demonstration on the occasion. This demonstration has been celebrated in verse by a local poet. The beneath quotation from the epic is good : Great and small! on, on they press, Though, " Pull-backs " there are some; Oh ! what a crowd ! and still the cry Resounds, " They come! they come ! " There's the whistle ! Now the train Comes rushing like (slow) thunder ; Where's the champagne? Let's drink success, To this, a nine day's wonder! Alas ! we have no poets of such parts as this down here. I learn from a Dunedin contemporary of yours, that some very irreverent persons who attend All Saints Church have been in the habit of dropping lollies, lozenges, buttons, and other things into the collection bags on Sundays. For the future plates are to bo used. It is a change which might perhaps be introduced profitably into some of our churches. It would save large sections of our religious population much anxiety of mind on Saturday nights in tho matter of hunting up the time-honored three-penny bit which they consider the outside value of their weekly go«pel.