VARIETIES.

Globe, Volume VIII, Issue 1047, 2 November 1877, Page 3

VARIETIES.

People learn wisdom by experience. A man never waks up his second baby to see it laugh. Everything seems to be adulterated nowadays except oysters and eggs, and they often outlive their usefulness. It takes all the enjoyment out of a game of croquet to hear it called "an amusement within the reach of the feeblest inellect." PkacticAL.—An lowa paper tells of a smart wife that helped her husband to raise seventy acres of wheat. The way she helped him was to stand in the door and ' shake a broom at him when he sat down to rest. "Men are so unreasonable!"' exclaimed a much tried wife. " Here's my husband can't drink bad coffee at breakfast without abusing me, and yet he'll drink bad whisky all day, and never think of abusing the barmaid.'' Erie lias a womau that minds her own business, and her next door neighbours may snarl and prance around the back yard, and tear down the houGt, and raise the old boy and not a word does this quiet creature say. She is dumb, and squints out of one eye. " Danbury News."—"How beautiful is the sea. One can upon the rocks of the coast, and watch the incoming waves, and listen delighted to their low muaio for hours at a time, and yet it is the sea that causes thousands of strong men to swear, chew plug, drink rum, go without suspenders, and smell of tar." A learned clergyman in the State of Maine was accosted in the following manner by an illiterate preacher, who despised education : —"Sir, you have been to college, I suppose*:" "Yes, sir," was the repjy. "I am thankful/' rejoined the former, " that the Lord has opened my mouth to'-pleach with out any learning. "A similar evWt," ro--plied the clergyman, "took Balaam's time, but such things aje of rare bwurreflc in the present day,'

A Western woman having been spoken of >s " having one foot in the grave," a cruel >mmentator remarks that there must haver >een a big hole out there somewhere. There are upwards of 3000 gods in the Tapanese calendar, and every good Christian n Japan must be able to repeat them all rom memory. In this country the main hing asked from a man is his pew-rent. " Triplets," said the doctor sententiously. The husband of a year rushed out on the back porch, thought upon his slender income, glared upon the snow-clad yard, and exclaimed with a wild, mocking laugh, " Son-struck in January." An Old Relic—ln the crypt of Warwick Church, the mighty ribbed arches of which spring from one enormous pier, there is an article which has long gone out of use—whether advantageously or not I shall not venture to say—a ducking stool, made for the public discipline of scolding women. This is one of the only two, I believe that remains in England. It consists of a strong oaken frame on low wheels, from which a seat rises upon an inclined bpam that works upon a pivot or axle. The scold was lashed into the seat, and then the "institution" was drawn to the river side at a convenient deep place, and rolled in until the patient sat just above the water. Then the land end of the beam was tipped up, and consequently the other end with its 1 ding went down under the water, where it was allowed to remain not too long, and was then raised for breathing time. The process was repeated as often as it was thought beneficial to the lady under treatment, or necessary for the peace of ber family and neighbourhood. Whether husbands ever interceded for wives thus disciplined, as wives do now sometimes for husbands who are unreasonably interfered with in the gentle sport of blacking their eyes or kicking their ribs, is not recorded.—" The Galaxy." A Terrible Encounter with a Grizzly Bear. The "Mountain Messenger" supplies us with the following :—" Last week a man named Walpole, who resides in Lassen county, had a fearful combat with a grizzly, but, we are happy to say, came off triumphant. It appears that Mr Walpole started out early in the morning of the day on which the adventure occurred for the purpose of visiting a deer-lick. He had his rifle, bowie-knife, and a large deerhound with him, and was crossing a deep canon when he espied a huge grizzly about fifty or seventy-five yards away. The opportunity was too good a one to let pass, so he pulled up and blazed away, but his aim was not very accurate, and he only succeeded in wounding the animal, and before he had time to re-load his riflle the bear was close upon him, and there was no alternative but to stand his ground and trust in Providence and in his weapons. The bear came right after him, and Mr W., who on the alert, succeeded in hitting him one on the head with the butt of his rifle, but ere he could repeat the blow his bearship returned the compliment, and dealt him one on the shoulder that paralysed him for a second. Being now fully alive to his situation, he drew bis bowie-knife, and made a plunge at Bruin, and succeeded in planting his knife deep in the beast's breast. This only enraged the animal still more, and seeing his destroyer in his powerful arms, gave him an embrace that he will not be apt to forget for some time, and which rendered him totally unconscious. He lay where the bear had dropped him until late in the afternoon, when a neighbour who was passing was attracted to the spot, and his astonishment may be imagined when, upon going a short distance from the wounded man, he found the bear dead as a door-nail. The animal measured eleven feet in length, and weighed 1400 pounds. Mr Walpole, though badly bruised, is not seriously injured, and he says he is 'a wiser, if not a better man.' "