HOW TO BEHAVE.
(Danbury News.)
In giving advice, the less you know the more fluent will be your speech. Do not call a man a liar unless you wish to gain the respect of his wife. Moral—Try it. It is exceedingly impolite to say a clever thing at a fashionable dinner. But if you should happeD to do so, apologise immediately and leave the table. No lady is bound to bow to a gentleman until be loosens her pull-back.
Nothing is more beautiful than a young girl trying to tame a mule with a croquet mallet. Moral—Don't make an a?s of yourself.
Always make a mental memoranda of any faults you can discover in a friend, and if you do not find any, call her narrowminded.
If you want to make a man angry, say that you wish you could tell him what your wife said after his last visit.
The silly habit ladies have of wearing their lovers cigarette ashes in lockets is going out of fashion.
If your back hair comes off at a party, ask some gentleman to hold it until you are ready to go home. If your friend is away from home, nail your card on the and sit on the fence until she returns.
When you are sloping with another fellow's girl dou't stop to argue with the cab driver,
A No. 10 boot is just the thing to augment the insolence of a watering- place suob. In good eociety one should not allow the food to touch the lips or tongue. We chew with our teeth, kiss with our lips, and lie with our tongues. A fashionable lie has more admirers than a dozen homemade truths. Moral—Try it on a Philadelphia editor. Lay nothing on the table but bread wheu you give a dinner to the poor. It is fashionable ami economical. The prettiest sight on earth is a sweet young girl in a cherry tree. Never eat with a knife. All the great men of the world, such as Moses, Napoleon, and Lincoln, ate with a fork. Moral— Locush and wild honey were m;ide before cutlery was invented.
Sonii) people are so fastidious as to their outward appearance that they forget to renovate their spiritual drapery. It. is a mark of ill breeding to cat onious while playing on your neighbor's llute.
Permanent link to this item
https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/GLOBE18770322.2.17
Bibliographic details
Globe, Volume VIII, Issue 856, 22 March 1877, Page 3
Word Count
390HOW TO BEHAVE. Globe, Volume VIII, Issue 856, 22 March 1877, Page 3
Using This Item
No known copyright (New Zealand)
To the best of the National Library of New Zealand’s knowledge, under New Zealand law, there is no copyright in this item in New Zealand.
You can copy this item, share it, and post it on a blog or website. It can be modified, remixed and built upon. It can be used commercially. If reproducing this item, it is helpful to include the source.
For further information please refer to the Copyright guide.
Log in