HUMOUR.

Globe, Volume VIII, Issue 837, 28 February 1877, Page 3

HUMOUR.

An inebriated individual walked info the telegraph otiiee at the depot recently and penned the following but expressive despatch to a friyiid in Springfield: "T ana happy," "Twenty-live cents," said the oucratoi;, He ran his fingers into his vest pockets in a vacant sort of way, smiled feebly, and aftorwards remarking, "Guess V\\ wait till I get there myself," staggered out.

Dreadful Spectacle. —Men who have stood where thousands fell, who have gazed unmoved upon the horrors of the battlefield and the wrecks of the storm, cannot, without emotion, behold the <ievastatiun and mangled ruin which, marks the progress of a woman with a acytho. Nature shudders when it bees a woman throw a stone, but when it seo3 a woman swinging a scythe, it just tries to cover up its head and keep out of sight until tho ruiu is complete. A Deceiving Wife— Eecen'ly a pedestrian on Greene street was nearly upset by a man running against him. "Sorry, sir; didn't see you," explained the one in a hurry. " Did you just meet a woman with a jug in her hand ?" ,: ' No, sir." My wife has stolen some of my hard earnings, and gone o;*t after whisky," continued the man. "What sadness ! what shame !" sighed the stranger. " It is awful to even think of such proceedings." "Yes; and it's awfuller yet, when it's likely she'll water the whisky, and deceive me by using part of the money to buy stockings or hair-pins " gasped the martyr. His Bank Cheque.—As a coloured man was walking out of tho pott office recently with a proud step, br.yi.ng just been handed a letter at the. general delivery window, he was, overhauled by a brush boy in a barber's shop, who called; out, "So do tailor hob sent in hi-; bill—yi, yi!" " Boy !" said the other in a lofiy.'touc— "boy, 1 is expecting a cheque from Toledo." '"And it'o in that letter, oli.'" "Dat's de supposition, ray sou." "I'll wait and see," chuckled the' youngster ; and he stood beside the other, when the envelope was torn and a handful of election slipj were taken out. "Gwiue to get cheque cashed light, away '!" the brush boy. " Bub, you's a email chile yet," answered the other, ■■ "an' 'it would be, irowing time away to 'splain, to you dab deae slips come one day Siheml oh de cneque3 on de bank. When you is a few yeaha older, you'll know fur more."