LITERATURE.

Globe, Volume VII, Issue 731, 23 October 1876, Page 3

LITERATURE.

MAKING A HUNDRED DOLLARS A NIGHT. One sultry afternoon a gentleman was seated under a clump of trees not more than a third of a mile from the Washington House in North Conway, reading a volume of Dickens, when a stranger approached him, and, after expatiating a while on the beauties of the place, volunteered the information that he was short of money but had hit upon a plan whereby he could raise some if he could only secure the services of a second party. ‘ I am in the same condition as yourself,’ said the first, ‘ and possibly I would like to enter upon the enterprise. What is your plan ? ’ ‘ Well, I am stopping over here at the Washington House, and you know that hotel keepers are responsible for the safety of their guests’ property.’ ‘ Yes, that’s true,’ said the first, * I am also stopping there—-it’s a good house.’ ‘Now,’ said the stranger, ‘if I can get some one to break into my room to-night and steal my pants, I’ll swear that there was two hundred dollars in them ; get the money and go halves with the fellow that does the job.’ ‘ But supposing he refuses to pay it ? ’ queried the first. ‘Ah, never you fear, there’s no danger of that; he’s got a house full of boarders, snd rather than hurt the reputation of the hotel, he would pay over the money without saying a word. ’ ‘ But isn’t it rather risky ?’ ‘ Risky ? No. All you’ve got to do is to come to my room, take the pants, and the thing is done —what do you say ? We can make a hundred dollars a piece to night, easy.’ ‘ Well, I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’m not very good at such things myself—suppose you do the stealing ?’ This was agreed to. The garments were to be left on the back of the chair in the accomplice’s room, and at twelve o’clock the fellow with the speculative idea was to steal in and bear them away. Entering the room noiselessly, ||he proceeded to where the garments were and took them up in his hands, when a man jumped out Of bed and seized him around the throat.

‘lt’s me, Bill,’ said the thief, in a whisper. ‘ You—who are you, coming into my room at this time of night ?’ demanded thejman; ‘ what do you want ?’

* I’m after them pants, you fool,’ said the thief, appearing to be displeased at his stupidity. ‘ Pants—why, what pants V questioned the man.

* The pants with the two hundred dollars in them. What, are you asleep ?—we’ll be caught if you don’t stop making so much noise. ’

‘ .Going to make a hundred dollars tonight, were you ?’ said the proprietor of the hotel, for it was he, tightening his grip on the thief’s throat, as a servant who had been let into the secret entered the room, with a light. The fellow was taken down stairs and bound hand and foot with a clothes-line, as tight as were ever the Davenport Brothers, and put into the celler, to await the verdict of the boarders the next morning, and how he made his escape therefrom can only be accounted for on the ground that truth is stranger than fiction. “ JINED THE GANG.” Jimmy was always a pretty good boy, behaved himself generally, and when he graduated from the Grammar School he ranked very well, and his parents were I roud of him. Upon his leaving school his father found a situation for him in a dry goods jobbing house, where the salary wasn’t very large, but he had a good chance for advancement. He figured extensively in his mother’s dreams; she imagined him drawing his first month’s salary and coming home and pouring it into her lap, a la sensational stories of the day, and afterwards, by good behaviour and strict attention to business, rising higher and higher, and finally becoming a member of the firm. And the old gent imagined him as being an influential young man and the comfort of his old age. The store shut up Saturday afternoon, the last day of the month, at 2 o’clock, and the boys, six in number, Jimmy amongst them, received their month’s salary. He way happy, and when one of the older boys asked them all in to have a glass of beer he concluded that they must have a glass with him. They all had several, and Jimmy treated three or four times, and when somebody proposed going down the harbor in an excursion steamer he was only too willing to go. His mother watched for him all the afternoon, and when evening came she sent his father down to the store to find out about him, but not a soul could he see that could tell him anything about him; he was fast getting mad clear through. He went home and swore that he’d wait for that young scoundrel if it took till daylight, and his mother sat up to see the realization of her dreams. About twelve o’clock four figures appeared singing, hooting, &c., up the street, and to the mother’s surprise and the father’s disgust, Jimmy was among them ‘chuck’full of beer. ‘ The rascal’s drunk,’ says the father. ‘Oh, the little villain,’ says the mother. Whereupon they both stationed themselves at the top of the front stairs, and his mother, unbeknown to the old gent, had a cow hide secreted in her dress. Jimmy’s friends bade him good night, and leaned against the lamp post opposite to watch him get into the house. He braced np and got the front door opened and staggered in, and after fumbling around sometime he got the front door shut, and sat down and pulled off his shoes. He then seized the banisters and got up to the top of the stairs, when his father seized him by the collar and commenced to, as he expressed it, ‘shake the head off him,’ and the mother dealt three blows with the cowhide, not across the back as she supposed, but across the old gent’s fingers. He gave a howl and let go. Jimmy fell to the bottom of the stairs with a crash. She screamed, and the boys outside shouted, and then ran, for a policeman was seen hurrying to the spot. The folks picked Jimmy up and put him to bed amongst the growls : ‘ If I don’t fix you in the morning, you young vagabond !’ He didn’t go to church next day. He was too sore, and Monday morning his employers received instructions not to pay him again, but hand his salary to his father. Jimmy has felt sore ever since, and thinks he’ll wait until he grows a little older before * jiniug the gang.’ A SWEET ADVENTURE. Addison F. Browne tells the following intesting story : During the late war while the regiment of which I was a member was stationed at Morgansa Bend on the Mississippi, several of us resolved on an excursion outside the lines. Not that we expected to come across anything of value, for the ‘ Johnnies’ had pretty effectually cleaned the region of everything worth taking before our arrival, but chiefly to gratify that restless spirit which makes the dull routine of camp-life so hard to bear. The time chosen for our expedition was a clear, moonlit night, and, after safely passing the picket line, we proceeded across the country until we came to an extensive plantation. As there were no signs of life in the vicinity, we concluded to inspect the premises. After passing the gateway we made a tour of the buildings and found nothing of which we could make any use. Just as we were leaving, however, our attention was attracted by a large sugar house that stood in the shadow of some noble oaks, and had escaped our previous notice. Thinking there might be some of the concentrated sweet in the building, we resolved to explore its interior. Approaching the open door, we found that the moonlight penetrated the structure just enough to dress everything in the deepest obscurity ; but, notwithstanding the fact that wc had forgotten to bring along matches, after some hesitation, ‘ Corp’ral George,’ who acted as our leader, made bold to enter, while the rest carefully followed his lead. Having crossed the threshold, he had not taken more than two or three steps, before we were startled by a loud crack, and the disappearance of George’s form as suddenly as would that of a ghost before the gleam of a gas light. For the full space of seven seconds we were dumfounded ; but at the end of that time a voice which seemed to come from the centre of the earth, was heard imploring our assistance to help the owner out of the d—d’st place he had ever got into. Guided by the voice, we found a large hole in the sugar house floor, through which our comrade had fallen, and though all beneath was invisible, we at last, with the assistance of a rope that fortunately was at hand, managed to release him from his temporary prison. When fairly outside in the moonlight, George presented a most grotesque appearance, the cause of which transformation was soon made known. On

entering the sugar house he had stepped os some loose boards that covered a large vat, and with their giving away, had been precipitated into about five feet of cold, thick molasses. Having cleaned our sweetened corporal as best we could, we made our way back toward camp, but had the beautiful luck to fall into the hands of the picket relief and spend the next week in the guard house. Of course we had to tell the true story of our adventure and thus contribute to the mirth of the whole camp; and from that time George was known as the ‘ Molasses Hero,’ HOW A CHINAMAN BOUGHT A HOESE. Wan Lee had long wanted a horse with which to collect and deliver his ‘laundly’ work about the city, and during last week came to the conclusion to buy one. On Wednesday evening, while aimlessly strolling by the Kennard House, he heard the pool seller shouting ‘ How much for Fullerton, gentlemen; how much for Fullerton. I am offered only forty dollars for this horse ; the Maid sold for one hundred! Who says forty-five dollars for Fullerton ?’ Now Wan, in his travels, had heard something about fast horses, and knew that Fullerton was ‘no slouch,’ as the saying is. So when he saw a chance to buy him—as it struck his heathen intelligence—for only forty-five dollars, he concluded he had better close with the bargain at once, and secure a horse which could whisk his delivery wagon around at a lively rate. With a rapid nod he conveyed the knowledge to the seller that he would give the forty-five dollars, and as there were no higher bidders the purchase was made.

Wan edged up to the stand and asked. When me payee, and when me gettee ‘boss V

‘Pay now,’ said the hurried clerk, ‘and come around to-morrow night for the chance. ’

‘ Alle light,’ said Wan, as he unrolled his pigtail, extracted his hard-earned money, and departed with the card which secured him the proof as far as Fullerton was concerned.

Thursday night he was at the Kennard at the appointed time, and when he saw the pool-dent, pushed his card forward and said—

* Alle light, now—me wante Flulletonn.’ ‘ Fullerton !’ said the clerk. *He didn’t win. Smuggler took the pool!’ ‘ Me caree nothing about plool—me wantee boss!’

‘ You have no horse here. You paid for your chance and lost it.’ ‘ Lost him ? Me paid forty-five dolle. Me loss him ?’ ‘Yes.’

‘Whalee you mean? You thlief? You payee me florty-five dolle or go to fleece house !’

‘You will get nothing,’said the clerk. ‘ You bet your money and lost it.’ Wan went for a policeman and explained. When he learned that his forty-five dollars was gone for ever, he shook his fist toward the Kennard House and started for home, scattering Chinese oaths along his path at the rate of about a thousand to the minute.