GOING TO BE BISHOP'D.

Globe, Volume VI, Issue 620, 14 June 1876, Page 3

GOING TO BE BISHOP'D.

The Bishop having held a Confirmation in Gornal, a woman in a respectable position, who had three daughters, became impressed with the necessity of being herself and having her children confirmed. She and they were therefore prepared, and ultimately confirmed, when the mother, believing herself converted, became extremely anxious to proselyte some one else. At length after much consideration, she resolved to try her hand on Molly Stubbs, a woman who called every week with her donkey to sell ‘ lillywhite sond.’

‘Well, Molly,’ she said, ‘how bin ycr !’ ‘Oh tidy, missis, I bin. Never better. How bin yow ?’ ‘ All right, Molly. But I want to ax yer a question. Han yer ever bin confirmed ?’ * Lors missis, why what’s that—l never heerd on him afore.’

‘ Why had the Bishop’s bonds on yer yed, Becos if yer dow, you’m bound to go to hell.’

‘ Yow dow say so, dun yer—and what ever’s a Bishop ?’ * Why, a mon as preaches in a tub at church on a Sunday, and wears great big lawn sleeves.’

‘ Good gracious, missis I I never heerd talk of such a thing afore. But whats he put his bonds on yer yed for ?’ ‘ Why, to oonvart yer, to be sure, and tak yer to heaven.’ ‘ Well that’s a easy way o’ doing on it, and I wish he’d put his bonds on my yed. But how bin I going to have it done ?’ ‘ I dow know, without yow goo to Dr Browne’s, the Vicar of Dudley, and praps he’ll dew it as well as the Bishop.’ 1 Dun yer think so ? Then dom’d if I dow goo, and get him tew do it. I wants to go to heaven, I does, as well as any body else.’ Accordingly, on the following Monday, Molly put on her best bonnet and dressed herself in what she called her * Sunday shoot,’ and walked to Dudley, calling at Dr Browne’s, and knocked loudly at the door, and said, ‘ Is the doctor a-whum !’ ‘He is,’ said the servant. *Do you wish to see him ?’

*ln course I does ; I come on purpose. ’ The servant then bade her walk into the library, and she would fetch the doctor. ‘ Good morning, my good woman,’ said the vicar.

* Good marning ! Bin yow the mon what bishops the women ? cos if you bin, I’m come to be bishop’d.’ * You mean confirmed, I suppose,’ said the vicar.

* Ah ; I mean confirmed, or bishop’d, or whatever yer call it, Honds on yer yed, yer know.’ ‘Yes, I see ; but it is first necessary that you should be examined,’ ‘ Now, none o’ that, Mr Vicar, I'm quite well, and I dow want no physio, and what’s more, I bain’t a going to ha’ none.’ * Oh ! I mean by examining, asking you a few questions.’ * Oh, dun yer ? then why day you say so at fust; you can ax as mony questions as yown a mind, and I con answer ’urn,’ ‘I am very pleased to hear it,’returned the vicar. * Now how many commandments are there ? ’

‘ Why, three to be sure. Yow know that, dow yer ? ’ ‘ No, indeed, I do not, my good woman, I always thought there were ten.’ ‘ Then yow oughten to ha’ known better nor that, for yown been a parson in Dudley to my knowledge a good many years, ha yer ? ’ ‘O, yes, you are quite right; but that’s nothing to do with it. I must tell you there are ten commandments.’

‘ Then I tell yow it isna the truth, for I’ve lived at Gornal five-and forty years, and I say there is but three, and I ought to know. ’ * Well, well,’ replied the doctor, laughing, ‘ perhaps you will tell me what they arc.’ ‘ln course I ull if yow dow know. Why they’m Aistek, Wissuntide, and Sedgley Wake I ’ ‘ It is needless to add that the astonished vicar did not recommend his ignorant visitor to the Bishop for the next Confirmation.’