JOHN SPINER'S ORDEAL.

Globe, Volume V, Issue 581, 29 April 1876, Page 3

JOHN SPINER'S ORDEAL.

They drove into town on Monday behind a cross-eyed mule and a spavined horse. They looked contented ; but one member of the party was the head of the house, for "she handled the ribbons, and, when they halted, she hitched the team, while he stood demurely by and took the baeket of eggs and her shopping satchel as she handed them out. They disposed of their produce at the grocery, and then entered a dry goods store. She made a few trifling puichases of thread, pins, needles, and such things, and then called for two knots of yarn. " That won't be enough, Mary," said the man plucking at her dress. " I guess I know what I'm buying," she retorted.

" But ain't more'n half what you've had afore," he persisted. " Wal, that's none o' your bieness ; those socks are goiu' to be for me, and, if I want em' short, you can have your'n come way up to your neck if you want to." The old man bowed to the inevitable with a long sigh, as his partner turned to the clerk and said : •' Two yards of cheap shirtiu" if you please." ' That ain't enough, Mary," said the old man, plucking at her dresi again. "Yes 'tis." "No it ain't." "Wal, it's all you'll git," she snapped. " Put it up, then, mister," said he, turning to the clerk ; " put it up, and we won't any." " Who's doin' this buyin', I should like to know ? ' hissed the woman. "You are, Mary, you are," he admitted; " but you can't palm off no shoit shirts on me." " Yru act like a fool, John Spiner." " Mebbe I do, Mary, but I'll be dummed to gosh if I'll have half a shirt—no, not if I go naked." " Well, I say tvio yards is enough to make any one two shirts," she snapped. " Mebbe that's enough for you, Mary," he said, very quiety; "p'raps you can git along with a collar-button and neckband, but that ain't me —and I don't propose to freeze my legs to save 8 cents." " Git what you want, then 1" she shrieked, pushing him over a stool ; " git ten yards, git a hull piece, git a dozen pieces if you want 'em ; but remember that I'll make you sick for this." " Four yards, if you please, Mister—four yards," said he to the clerk ; " and just remember," he continued, "if you hear of 'em finding me with my head busted, friz to death in a snow-drift, just remember that you heard her say she'd made me sick." And, grasping the bundle, he followed his better half out the dcor.