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Globe, Volume V, Issue 538, 9 March 1876, Page 2

You can't get an old Yankee shoemaker to blunder. The other day, when a weighty woman sailed into a Detroit shoe store, and, selecting a pair of No. 4’s, sat down to have them tried on, the shoemaker saw that she wanted 7’s. But he didn’t tell her so, and start her out of the shop at a gallop. He smiled and said softly, “ Madam,” all the aristocratic ladies are now wearing shoes three sizes too large for their feet, in order to have cool extremities—and of course you want to follow the style ? ” She smiled like a duck in answer to his smile, and replied, “ You are in a position to know best, and I leave everything to your judgment.” When she went out she said she never had such an easy-fitting shoe in her whole life. Lately a Dubuque man got tired of his wife’s poodle, and carried the helpless animal to the Mississippi river and consigned it to a watery grave. When he went home that night he made up as he went along a great lot of lies to account for the dog’s absence, but the first thing he stepped on when he entered the hall was that dog’s tail, with the dog at the end of it, and he got bit three times in half a second. He has grown morbid and superstitious, and told his barber that he believed it brought bad luck on a house to drown a dog. Old Winston was a negro preacher in Virginia, and his ideas of theology and human nature were often very original. A gentleman thus accosted the old gentleman one Sunday : “Winston, I understand you believe every woman has seven devils. How can you prove it ? ” “Well, sah, did you ever read in the bible how seven debbles were cast out’er Mary Magalin?” “Oh, yes, I’ve read that.” “Did you ebber hear of ’em bein’ cast out of any oder woman, sah?” “No, I never did.” “Well, den, he odders got ’em yet.”