CURIOSITY GRATIFIED.

Globe, Volume IV, Issue 478, 29 December 1875, Page 3

CURIOSITY GRATIFIED.

A long-haired, sallow-complexioued individual, arriving at the Aurora (Ind.), depot the other day, caused no little gossip in the village. He was mysteriously silent about his name and business. Discussion was rife whether he was Judge Kelley, Theodore Tilton, or Sergeant Bates. All expected something remarkable of him. Finally all agreed that he was an Ohio politician, come down to talk on the currency question. They were ready to give him a respectful hearing. At 7 o’clock their curiosity reached a climax, as he emerged from his hotel and mounted a dry goods box in the market square. Both parties cheered him, for each thought he was their friend. When silence was reached, he began : ‘ Ladies and Gentlemen— l came to your beautiful little city heralded by no flourish of banners or double-headed announcements in the newspapers. The experience of a lifetime has taught me that the fine perceptions and delicate faculties of the American people will discover merit and .appreciate it under whatever circumstances it may appear. As I look upon your upturned faces to-night, I am assured that you are no exceptions to the general rule. I see beauty, intelligence, and he love of country stamped upon every countenance before me. ’

While the crowd gathered closer to him he snuffed hi« lard oil lamp with his thumb and finger; and went on - ‘ It may be possible that you have never heard of ine before, and it would not become me to go into any detailed account of myself on this occasion. I am Professor Bittender, of Cleveland, o.’ A rousing cheer went up. ‘ The whole country is now straining its eyes for light upon the great financial question of the hour. One faction cries aloud for inflation, ami the other lifts up its voice and sings the song of contraction. The question may be narrowed down to ‘gold or greenbacks.’ My friends,’ and he raised his finger impressively, ‘ either is good enough for me.’

He opened a little tin trunk and took out several small red paper boxes. As he continued, he field one of them up to view: ‘I have in this little package the greatest combination of medical properties that ever the sun shone upon.

I call it my ‘ Balsam of Cornucopia or Lightning Wart and Bunion Eradicator ? If there is a lady or gentleman in this assemblage who has a troublesome excresence, let him or her limp forward, and I will remove it without money and without price, I will snatch as it were, the’ But he never got further than that. Some broken windows in the neighbourhood; a pervading odour of ancient eggs which still hangs about the place, and splinters of wood scattered about the square, alone remain to remind the Aurorans of the visit of the Cleveland corn doctor.