HOW A COUPLE OF TEXAS PHYSICIANS MANAGED TO SETTLE A LITTLE UNPLEASANTNESS.

Globe, Volume IV, Issue 414, 9 October 1875, Page 3

HOW A COUPLE OF TEXAS PHYSICIANS MANAGED TO SETTLE A LITTLE UNPLEASANTNESS.

Seibin, Texas, is not a big town, nor is it sickly enough to support two doctors. Two physicians, however, settled in the place to tight for a living over the afflictions and infirmities of the people. They were Drs Manning and Mallette. In the course of their practice they became morbidly jealous, and in their professional or unprofessional strife they came near pulling their patients to pieces. Mallette wanted to bring matters to a crisis, and in order to get up a fair and square Texas struggle, he began to talk hard about Manning, and also one of Manning's near female relations. That was Manning's cue, and he spoke. There was blood in his talk and battle in his bearing. The two doctors mutually agreed to fight it out with knives. It was the only thing they ever had agreed upon, and both went gaily to the nearest store and bought two bran new bright, virgin butchers knives. They went alone in an open lot to decide the right to the patronage of Serb in and the surrounding country. The fought bravely, but not well. The dissecting room ought to have taught them the nearest way to a vital part, but they mangled each other horribly. They were so long about it that the citizens interfered and separated them. Mallette looked like an immense blood blister just burst and Manning was a wreck, almost a headless trunk. It looked as if he must surely die of his wounds. Before the bloody doctors were carried off the field of carnage, each to his home, they exchanged a solemn vow that if both recovered they would not live in the same world together any longer than they could help it. The one who recovered first so as to be able to walk out was to do his first walking to the house of the other, and do his best to kill him. There was not a particle of sense in either waiting for the other to fully recover. So they parted, and finally Mallette got himself patched up so he could get around on his legs again. Then, in conformity to his vow, he shouldered his gun and went to Manning's house. Maiming saw him coining and was prepared for the attack. He had kept his eyes open for his old adversary, and, coming out of his door got the first pop at Mallette, who fell dead with a bullet through his heart. The vow was fulfilled. The sinews of Dr Manning's neck had been severed in the butcher-knife battle, and his head grew on crooked. He is unpleasantly deformed, but is probably as good a doctor and a better surgeon that ever. Dr Manning now has a full swing at death and his legions in Serbin, Texas, and Dr Mallctte's patients have all gone over to the survivor.