THE LAZIEST MAN IN VIRGINIA.

Globe, Volume IV, Issue 394, 16 September 1875, Page 4

THE LAZIEST MAN IN VIRGINIA.

Many years ago I was one of a party in Washington city, when south and north vied with each other in convivial life. Another of the party was General Dawson, member from Western Pensylvania, whose homestead was Albert Gallatin’s old home. He was an admirable story teller. I recall somewhat sadly, now that he has gone, how well he illustrated the laziness of a class of Virginians. The story ,was a part of his Congressional canvassing. (Jn one occasion he got across the Pensylvania line into a little village of Virginia. He was in the midst of a group of around the tavern. While treating and talking a procession approached, which looked like a funeral. He asked who was to be buried? ‘Job Dowling,’ said they. ‘ Poor Job !’sighed the general. He was a good-natured, good-for nothing, lazy fellow, living on a few tish he caught and the squirrels he killed, but mostly on the donations of his neighbors. ‘ So poor Job is dead, is he ?’ * IN' o, he ain’t dead, zactly, ’ said they. ‘Not dead—not d—. Yet you are going to bury him ?’ ‘ Pact is, general, he has got too infernal all-fired lazy to live. We can’t afford him any more. He’l got so I lazy that the grass began to grow over his shoes—so everlastin’ lazy that he put out one of his eyes to save the trouble of winkin’ when out a gunnin’.’ ‘ But,’ says the general, ‘ this must not be. It will disgrace my neighborhood. Try him a little longer, can’t you?’ ‘Can’t;' too late—coffin cost Idol, 25c. Must go on now.’ About this time the procession came up and halted, when the jgeuerai proposed, if they would let Job out,

he would send over a bag of corn. On this announcement the lid of the coffin opened, and job languidly sat up : the cents dropped from his eyes as he asked, ‘ls the corn shelled, general?’ ‘No, not shelled.’ * Then,’ said Job, as he lazily lay down, ‘ go on with the funeral.’