LITERATURE.

Globe, Volume III, Issue 250, 31 March 1875, Page 3

LITERATURE.

THE BOODLE ROMANCE,

[From Tinslcy's Magazine.]

Chapter I,

I knew Boodle very well, and his father before him. It is of young Boodle that this story treats; but, in accordance with the usual law of nature, old Boodle had to be before young Boodle could be, and so old Boodle was, and flourished as a variety of art-critic. He knew as much of art as a sucking pig, and no more; but he had the reputation of knowing more than all the worthies chronicled by Vasari, and that did quite as well. He had an aristocratic studio in one of the most aristocratic parts of the town, and there personages of the highest rank might be seen patiently waiting for the liberty of speaking a few words with the mighty Boodle. He was an honorary member of all the art societies in Europe, and had enough letters after his name to open all the patent ' Amen' locks in Christendom. If a new engraving came out his name was amongst the first in the list of subscribers, and as often as not figured in the advertisement, appended to something to this effect:—

' I have seen the proofs of the engraving' (N. or M., as the case might be), 'and am much pleased with the rare skill with which the delicate beauty of the original is preserved. I consider it a contribution to British art of sterling value. ' Solomon Boodle.'

Whenever anything of this kind appeared the engraving was sure of a great run, although Boodle, good man, would make nothing by it; for he would not, like some people, sell his name for a price, oh, no! He was supposed to write the art criticisms in the Mahlstich, and artists who had pictures in the exhibition nearly went mad with suspense until the number appeared. He was the bane of artists' lives, and more than one young aspirant to Academic honors had been known to commit suicide after reading one of Boodle's notices; while others, it was mysteriously whispered, had been elevated to the very top of the tree by one stroke of Boodle's pen. Amateurs who were so fortunate as to possess lots of money and little taste would diplomatise to any extent and expense to get Boodle to select them a gallery; and when they could thrust their thumbs into the arm-holes of their white waistcoats, and remark casually that the pictures were the choice of ' my friend Boodle,' Ihey considered they had arrived at the highest artistic altitude attainable upon this little globe. Dukes and marquises—to say nothing of viscounts, earls, and persons in like humble stations of life—were delighted to have Boodle's company at snug little dinner parties; while duchesses and mar chionesses were charmed to have him lounge upon their drawing-room ottomons. It is even whispered that Koyal Academicians, knowing that their pictures would be sure to sell for one, two, or three hundred guineas more could Boodle be publicly seen acknowledging their salutations, strove harder for that honor than for a foreign order of the highest class. And, in short, from the duke's palatial hall to the artist's humble cot, Boodle was a power. Although such an important personage, Boodle was a kind-hearted man, and never disdained to cheer the thorny path of those in humbler stations than himself. He had a whole legion of Titians, Murillos, and I cannot tell how many more old masters, living upon his bounty, to whom in the philanthrophic fullness of his heart, he gave a huge shed wherein to place, fresh glowing from the mint, their divine inspirations upon canvas. Nay more, he always rewarded them with a pound, or sometimes thirty shillings, over and above wages for their masterpieces, and then, that the artist need not be ashamed of any slight crudity of coloring, he would give it a mellow tone by baking it in an oven ; after which, he would place it in the gallery of one of those beforementioned gentlemen in white waistcoats, who would force upon his acceptance a cheque for a thousand pounds or so, as a slight token of his esteem. This always took Boodle by surprise, and was proof positive of the truth of his frequent remark that ' charity always brings its own exceeding great reward.' Then would he return and gladden the heart of another of his grand old masters with another guinea for another masterpiece. More than all this, he had agents in all the capitals of Europe —especially St. Petersburg as well as in the United Stales. Truly he was the centurion of art, and had only to say unto this one ' Daub this,' and he daubed it, and to another, ' Bake this Virgin,' and he straightAvay did her brown. His talents in this line were remarkable, but perhaps the true bent of his genius lay in what might be termed prophetic divination. As painters see their picture in all its completeness before taking up their brush, so could Boodle see in his mind's eye the very spot where an old master lay hidden from all eyes but his own, in a dark cellar, or somewhere equally obscure. You do not believe it, eh ? Why, did he not rind out Murillo's masterpiece of the ' Immaculate Conception'—which, as all true lovers of art are aware, represents the Virgin in a glorified attitude taking her daily nourishment of ether, and which gave rise to the pathetically natural remark of that near relation of Mrs Todgers, that ' she would be a good tin to have for a boarder'— iu an out-of-the-way Castilian inn? Was it not he who discovered that solitary instance of high Hibernian art to which he gave the name of ' St Patrick's Curse,' and which represented the saint transforming a venemous vipor into a Connaught man with the incantation, ' All thy ways are of onpleasantness and none of thy paths are peace,' in a tumbledown hovel somewhere in County Cork ? Did he not discover that divine exemplar of ' Mary darning Joseph's Hose' in a coalcellar of the Bishop of Drawdownwroth's palace; and the unrivalled sketch of 'St Peter gibbing Fish' in the cloisters of Heringnet Cathedral ? Yes, and many more; but your silence tells me plainer than words that you do not believe me even yet. Well, all 1 can say is, that had you sooner than a five-hundrcd-pound note that one was found in your cellar, Boodle would at once have found documents to prove that your residence at one time had been an abbey, and would have dug from the buried cloisters a squealing Virgin, or a squirming Virgin, or an assuming Virgin, or a conceiving virgin, or a falsehood-telling Peter, or a doubting Thomas, or a coin-adoring Judas, or something equally authentic. Boodle's fame had reached a pitch never before attained. He wrote so many criticisms, looked at so many proof -engravings,

found so many new old masters, and selected so many galleries, that the mind of any other man but Boodle must have given way under the strain. He, however, never was in better health and spirits; while the amount he gave in charity to those needy old masters of his became something fabulous.

Quoth Boodle one day privately to Boodle, ' My dear fellow, I think you really should marry some lady of good birth and position, and take your place among the other landed gentry of England.' Replied Boodle enthusiastically to Boodle, 1 My dear fellow, I really think I should.' So Boodle, going carefully over the list of his noble acquaintances who were blessed with well - dowered and marriageable daughters, at last fixed on Lord Hoodlehunks. Lord Hoodlehunks was a very weathy nobleman, but weak, yet an authority in all things pertaining to art second only to Boodle. He had an old castle somewhere in the country crowded full of art curiosities and valuables, He had Greek vases and Italian goldsmiths' work, and gems and sculpture and paintings of all sorts, kinds, and sizes. He had one daughter, whose name was Julia ; and I really believe he was as proud of her as he was of that amputated limb which he was ready to take any number of solemn oaths was chiselled by Phidias, but which Praxiteles Smith was ready to take an equal number of solemn affidavits was the work of a deceitful modern Italian, who did a great deal in the way of such art treasures for dilettante pilgrims to the Holy City. He had a town house, which was crammed fuller of such things that even his country house, and it was hither that Boodle one day betook himself. He found the noble lord carefully scrutinising something that bore a decided resemblance to a dilapidated carriage-boot that had been on a spree and got astray in a painter's shop. ' Ah, my dear Boodle,' ssid his lordship, 'so glad you have come. I should like to have your valuable opinion upon this ' Kepose of Venus and Vulcan.' Boodle took out his eyeglass, and, scrutinising the canvas closely, saw a smirking female of the hue of cold boiled veal reclining beside a grimy personage poising a huge hammer in his hand.

1 Oh, yes,' cried Boodle enthusiastically, a veritable Albani. Not the least doubt of it being genuine; and if you do not decide upon purchasing it, pray allow me to have the next chance. I should consider it dirt cheap at five hundred pounds.' Not the least doubt of it Mr Boodle ; for did you not that very morning purchase it from Albani himself for thirty-five shillings ?' 1 That is just what the man asks.' replied his lordship.

' Indeed. Well, my lord, I do not presume to advise you, but if I had been fortunate enough—' And the end of it all was that a cheque for the five hundred, was given, and the veritable Alboni placed among the other art treasures of the Hoodlehunka mansion.

' Did it ever strike your lordship,' said Boodle, when they were again alone, ' that the old hall of the ' Old London Company of Linkboys ' would be a likely place to find some rare old paintings ?'

' Yes, replied his lordshfp, who had never dreamed of such a thing until that moment, ' I have often thought so.' ' Well,' went on Boodle, ' I had often thought so too; and upon excavating the old cellars I found a picture by Holbein that in my humble estimation, is his master-piece.' 'You don't mean it,' eagerly exclaimed his lordship. 'Do you intend disposing of it ?' 'Yes,' replied Boodle, carelessly, 'I think of disposing of it; and, indeed, have had rather a handsome offer already, but I have not yet accepted it. But Lord Hoodiehunks,' continued Boodle in an earnest tone, ' it is upon a subject of far deeper feeling to me than all the paintings in the world that I called upon you this morning. Lord Hoodlehunks, with the exception of the walk of art in which it lias pleased Providence to place mc, I am a man of feAV words, and so will come straight to the point at once. Lord Hoodlehunks, 1 love your daughter, and ask permission to pay my addresses to her.' ' But, my dear Boodle,' impatiently interrupted his lordship, ' you will not accept the ulfer for the Holbein until I have seen it? Promise me as a friend that you will not.' ' Lord Hoodlehunks,' replied Boodle, with an air of proud humility, ' although not of noble rank, I am a gentleman; and as one gentleman should speak with another, I requested your permission to sue for your daughter's hand. Pardon me if I feel hurt when you treat me as you would a Jew picture dealer.' ' A thousand pardons, my dear Boodle,' said his lordship. ' You have my full permission; and I assure you there is no one it would give mc greater pleasure to call my son-in-law than yourself. But, my dear fellow,' he continued, ' I trust you will give me the first offer of your late discovery.' ' My lord,' replied Boodle, ' it is your own.' ' Oh, how can I ever thank you enough,' exclaimed his lordship, in a burst of rapture. ' Take her, my dear boy, and may you be happy. God bless you both.' So itcame to pass that there was an imposing ceremony performed in an aristocratic churcU one fine summer's morning, and the beadl© and the pew-openers were attired in their best raiment, and wore white gloves. There was a procession up the aisle of a young lady and middle-aged gentleman whose souls had but a single thought, &c, and six fascinating young gentlemen attired in the extreme of fashion, and the same number of lovely young ladies in white and flowers; and there were a lot of little girls, also in white, who threw down the most dainty bouquets to be trampled on, with an air smacking strongly of ' darn the expense.' There was an elderly gentleman with a head that shone like a lamp reflector, and a middle-aged one with a voice like a sulky bull, and a young one whose dulcet strains resembled those of an iEolian harp. There was a great deal said about this man and this woman, and at one stage of the performance a ring was produced. There was a great deal of rustling and whispering in the vestry, and the boys outside, headed by a cosmopolitan butcher'3 boy, set up a ferocious cheer. There were a great many champagne corks popped, and a great deal of nonsense said, and a great amount of weeping done. All the old masters could indulge freely in their respective national beverages, and the beadle was very abusive to divers small boys in the course of the afternoon, while the pewopeners looked suspiciously red about the eyes. An avalanche of insane old shoes showered down, and Boodle and his bride started for Ttaly, where he found a piece of sculpture in the Catacombs that an emperor gave him a great deal of money for. To be continued.