SMART MEN.

Globe, Volume II, Issue 177, 2 January 1875, Page 3

SMART MEN.

The author of "The Gentleman Immigrant " tells two capital stories, illustrative of Yankee business virtue. The first of these is of a conductor on one of the lines of railway, who, "entering the service of the company without a 'red cent,' " had contrived on GO dollars a month to purchase, in little over a year, " a house, a 2-40 nag, a gold chronometer and fixings, a diamond ring and pin, and other costly articles too numerous to mention." A director of the company moved this man's dismissal. A co-director moved that he be retained. The man, he urged, "hadhouse, horse, watch, ring, and pin—was completely set up, in fact ; if a reasonable man, he ought to be contented." A new hand, on the contrary, would have all these things to buy. The man was retained accordingly. The other was of a man who purchased the goodwill of a bar in one of the leading thoroughfares. The man, on entering into possession, engaged at high wages a bar-keeper, renowned for his concoction of seductive drinks—" eye-openers," gum-ticklers, corpse-revivers, and the like. "Everything,"the story goes, "went along swimmingly, until it came to taking stock, when it was found that the balance was on the wrong side of the ledger; and so considerable was the deficit, that nothing remained but to sell the business and compound with the creditors. The business was purchased by the accomplished bar-keeper, who, out of pure compassion, consented to engage his late master as assistant. In less than a twelvemonth the new proprietor was, in his turn, insolvent; and, on the business being offered for sale, it was repurchased by its former owner. Once again the accomplished barkeeper begged to be engaged, but a deaf ear was turned to his petition. " Guess, friend, we're about square," was the response. "I've learnt how eye-openers and gumticklers are concocted, and mean for the future to keep bar myself."