LITERATURE.

Globe, Volume II, Issue 130, 30 October 1874, Page 3

LITERATURE.

A FIGHT FOR A WIFE. Chapter 111. Concluded. ' How hath the cheeky fallen ! He hath been overcome and vanquished, utterly smote out, and annihilated, scrunched up, and knocked into everlasting smithereens. My dear friend, shall we have a drink on the strength of this ? ' Tis now the witching hour of half-past six, when he who loves his dinner might have a tiny glass of sherry—■ nicht wahr ?' His friend took a more sober view of the situation, ' The best thing you can do is to compose your nerves with something else than sherry. You'll have to fight that young man as soon as he gets dry clothes on—you may as well make up your mind to it.' 'And who's afraid?' said he. 'Who's afraid of that sand-colored bell rope—that elongated pelican —that indefinite length of Sydenham trousers and shirt collar ? Bah ! I will twist him round the trunk of a tree, and people will mistake him in the morning for a snake that has died of a bilious attack !' Chapter IV.—The Duel. In a very short space of time the young man came out again, dressed in another suit of clothes. He went past us rapidly, without speaking. Wa saw him cross the bridge and go into the town. ' Now, what is he up to ?' said Mr Humphreys, a trifle more serious. 'He is either gone to get a policeman to give you in charge for assault, or to get a pair of pistols at an ironmonger's.' ' Pistols !' said Mr Humphreys contemptuously ; that would be like the lunatic.' And it was ; for a few moments after Mr Maurice returned; and coming up to his rival, firmly and courteously informed him that he meant to fight him; that he did not think he would have a fair chance in a vulgar boxing match, but that he had bought a pair of pistols, with which they could settle their dispute in the adjoining meadow. Mr Humphreys listened with a laugh on his face; then he saw that it was no good making a joke about it; and finally, stung by a chance remark of his opponent, he said, ' All right; come along.' Now, what was the third person who was the spectator of all this folly to do ? The whole affair seemed so incredibly ridiculous that to call any one's attention to it might have been compromising; and yet, to all appearances, these two were going down to the side of the river to load these pistols and fire them at each other. ' I thought,' said I, • that when gentlemen in France went out to fire half-loaded weapons at each other they generally took with them a doctor, to make believe the thing was serious. Don't you mean to have a doctor, or any seconds, or any reporter to send a romantic account to the Figaro V ' We shall do very well by ourselves,' said the young man, and the two imbeciles walked off. There remained but one thing for me to do. In a certain chamber in that old-fashioned inn, there was a lady dressing for dinner; and, when she is putting flowers in her hair, she does not like to be disturbed. However, when I represented to her the deadly schemes of those people whom we could see walking down the meadow, she quite forgot the last yellow rosebud, and caught at a light shawl, which she threw around. her head and shoulders. 'Shall we tell them the truth ?' said she. 'What truth?' said I; 'only, whatever truth you have to tell them, you'd better look sharp.' What a placid evening was shining all around when we hastened down to the river —the sweetbriar of the garden scenting the air, and the beautiful tints in the sky showing out the clear bosom of the Thames! We could see those two black figures down by the tall green rushes. They had apparently settled the preliminaries, and were now some dozen yards apart. ' They sees us now—oh, the two gabies !' said my companion. The notion of bringing a lady on the scene was obviously successful; one could see each of them smuggling something away into his coat-pocket. When we arrived on the spot they were evidently contemplating the beauty of the scenery ; while Mr Humphreys, with a charming carelessness, asked us if we had seen the rush of young fish to the surface —obviously getting out of the way of a pike. ' No, I did not,' said my companion, with a gracious smile. ' I have been too busy thinking how I should scold you two gentlemen. What do you mean by going away by yourselves in this manner, instead of waiting in the garden until Miss Newton came down? You ought to pay her every attention while she is our guest; otherwise she will not think much of our English people, and she will have a bad account of us to give to Mr St. Vincent.' 'Mr St. Vincent?' they both repeated mechanically. 'Yes,' was the innocent answer, 'the gentleman whom she is to marry as soon as she returns home.' There was a strange pause. Mr Humphreys began to stare about and whistle. The other gentleman looked uncomfortable, and blushed hotly. ' But I shall forgive you if you come back to the inn at once,' said the gentle monitress, ' and indeed dinner will be waiting for us in twenty minutes. You won't mind my running back by myself.' When she had gone, the two men looked at each other for a moment, and then young Maurice, with a contemptuous smile, tossed his pistol in among the reeds. Another splash told us that the second weapon had followed it. Then they stood and looked at each other again. 'Look here, old chap,' the elder gentleman said, in a blind fashion, ' there isn't much use in making a fuss about this. I beg your pardon for any awkward little thing that may have occurred. When a man is made a fool of by a woman he is not responsible for his actions—what do you think ?' 'I quite think so,' said the other; and they shook hands amicably. Next morning our two friends discovered that urgent business called them away to London, and they left us with many expressions of regret. It was remarked, moreover, by a certain gentle-eyed young lady, that no reference had been made to that compact about a trip to the United States.—William Black, in the Nem York Timet,