THE LOAFER IN THE STREET.

Globe, Volume I, Issue 90, 14 September 1874, Page 3

THE LOAFER IN THE STREET.

I observe some of them have been breaching the Licensing Act again. They will do it, and reap in consequence the whirlwind of costs. The particular case I have in view is that of a party who was summoned for selling fermented drink without, a license. The fermented drink was cidc:. Professor Bickerton thought it could hardly be called cider. He said it was flavored with amylic acetic ether, an artificial pear oil made from fusil oil and vinegar. I'm quite used to fusil oil in conjunction with whiskey. It's a nice drink ; £but I should* hardly expect vinegar to be sufficiently powerful to make a good cider in combination with it. Fusil oil is too wayward and subtil. The defendant has promised to sell no more drink of this texture. I feel glad of this. Continuing the subject of Police Courts, another party was brought up for having eaten some Battle's vermin powder. He appears to have eated too heartily of this delicacy. I can understand the Court thinking it a serious matter, but what do you mean when you inform your readers that " the deceased would be remanded?" This is probably a curiosity of literature.; So is the following. A gentleman was being examined in a recent case in one of our country courts, and he stated that "he had been a horseman from his birth, and had been fully initiated into the mysteries of horseology." What a career. What a bliss-like path. I am not absorbed as a rule over your commercial article. I read it, but it is rare, very rare, for thrills to glow through my build in consequence of such perusal. I can't always grasp this portion of your journal as I should. Not quite. I can understand you when you say that candied peel is moving in small lots at Is Id, that jujubes are quitted |at Is 2d, that maize is unsettled, and oatß are dull. I am willing to allow any time that bottled stouts are very heavy, and can wonder at any one saying that ales attract very little notice, but the most striking statement I have seen lately, is a telegram from Dunedin about the recently arrived ship Parsee. The telegram informs us that this noble ship had about 200 cases of measles on board. Such a ship -would, I should say, in commercial language, be in excess of requirements, and the demand would be very small. At the last monthly sitting of the Supreme Court in Bankruptcy, his Honor the Judge pitched into the reckless manner in which tradesmen gave credit without the remotest chance of repayment. He did not know which was the worst, the creditor who gave unlimited credit, or the speculator who went into these undertakings. His Honor probably never thought at the time that in consequence of his remarks three publicans refused credit for a glass of beer to a poor lone orphan like me. Apart from this I have been given to understand creditors look after small sums with the greatest promptitude. It's your big speculator who can get unlimited credit. It's your big speculator who can afford port and piety, who finds a haven of rest under the portal of the Supreme Court, and a sure pass to fresh credit in his discharge. The Act is dead against the Struggling loafer. He has to pay about ten pounds to declare himself impecunious (a sum in itself sufficient to start business); and when he has got his whitewash he doesn't derive any kudos from the transaction. Its a race in which the weights are so apportioned that an outsider never gets a show. I can understand what his Honor means when he says that those creditors who had been so lavish in their granting of credit without the least chance of repayment lost their money, and it served them right; but they must be a class of people with whom I have not yet come in contact here. I should like to meet a real lavish creditor, because I feel sure I could do him justice. I believe I ought to have been at the Oddfellows' Hall the other night. I understand there was a display of first-class humour on the occasion of the candidates for municipal honors giving their views on things in general to their constituents. It seems now quite understood that candidates are to be trotted out for the public amusement, and that the audience are not supposed to be good listeners, being, as Mr Ick said, always impatient for the comedy to follow. Whatever is, is quite correct, of course I know that, but»l can't appreciate " indescribable scenes of confusion," " storms of hissing and stamping," " musical illustrations of 'We won't go home till morning.'l" I can't even enjoy "cries of Lee," however much that gentleman may be qualified to amuse a mixed audience. There is too much joy about a sho wof this kind. It palls on a fellow after a time ; besides its scarcely fair on the performers. Should it be, however, necessary to the peace of mind of ratepayers generally to hear a candidate state it as his opinion that " bathing in fresh water was no good." to hear another candidate say*in .answer to a question that "he , was not afraid of the Mayor" and another (this a Lyttelton candidate) sty that "they should try and get pure water straight away from the elements, " why let's have the performance by all means, and charge for admittance. Proceeds to go towards establishing, let us say, public baths in Chrißtchurch and in Lyttelton towards Mr Agar's suggestion of bringing Ward's beer round. I feel sure the latter •would suit the locality. This city is not complete yet. For years past we have been pining for Public Baths and Bells (spell it without the e please, and don't make nonsense of this paragraph). The former by the method described above I see my way to, and the Teutonic inhabitants of this metropolis are making great efforts to obtain the latter. I'm not quite sure that this is a subject on which I'm altogether * qualified to express an opinion. I've read about the Evening Bells, the Shandon Bells, the Tintinnabulation of the bells, and lots of other bells. I feel as we have been pining for this class of hardware for so long, that the thing ought to be supported. I mean to borrow half-a-crown as a subscription towards the good cause, and I hope your readers will do also the same. I give my donation on one condition, however, that the ringers go in steady practice for wild bells. I never saw or heard any, and I feel I should like them much. I want those bells that can " King out false pride in place and blood, The civic slander and the spite; "

but I reckon they'll cost a hat full of money. I expect I shall have to be satisfied with "Wild Bells that will ring the old year out, and the new one in. I shall subscribe to these because a friend of mine lives close enough to hear them practising, and I know he will enjoy it; but they must be Wild Bells mind you. I feel I couldn't stand any

of your tame old hardware like what we've been used to here. Pm full of it.

1 have read Colonel Gordon's report on our Volunteers. He don't appear to think alto-

gether highly of thera. He seems to have reviewed one company composed of two full privates, one of whom was too full. He probably wished to make up for the laches of other members of the corps by making himself as "fn" (Scotch idiom) as possible. He carried this out with deserved success, and its well he did, because had he not, put in an appearance Colonel Gordon would have been in the position of Dean Swift when his congregation consisted only of " Dearly beloved Roger." This comes rough on a man who is accustomed to add .; audiences in the plural number. Look here, I aiut a Volunteer myself, I can't afford it, but there's no use in slating a lot of fellows who do a lot of extra work for nothing after their own hard day's work is over. We want a militia, I expect. There's pay hanging to that, and a chance of shooting a friend or two in action, I shall join that institution when it starts. Meantime, I hope the Government will continue voting supplies to the Volunteers, because in case of foes prancing round our fertile plains it would be, perhaps, an advantage to possess a few men who could hit a column of enemies at 200 yards. There was a pretty brisk debate in the Assembly on the honorarium to members, Did you read it? There is little doubt that hon members would have voted themselves their allowance, but there's no pleasing everyone. The member for Hokitika objected to having to undergo " the turmoil of three months' celibacy," and wanted the House to vote a sum sufficient to enable members to bring up their wives and children with them. The House couldn't see it. Is it possible that some members may prefer the " turmoil of celibacy" to the harmony of home. I have met men of this sort. Mr White ought to go down to posterity as the massive iutellect who took the first step towards initiating a hen convention.