JOTTINGS BY 'CRINGLE.'

Globe, Volume I, Issue 83, 5 September 1874, Page 2

JOTTINGS BY 'CRINGLE.'

[Written for the Globe.] I am a great admirer of religious consistency, no one more so ; but I have a very poor opinion of that kind of believer whose religious convictions would prevent him taking an oath, and yet when all three cases were so dead agaiust the unfortunate (on two of which he had already been committed) clinched his evidence by saying that there were not sufficient funds to the prisoner's credit, ' and no likelihood of there being any in my opinion.' And a most uncalled for, unwarranted, and uncharitable remark, it was at the time, compelling me to ' think,' and pretty ' freely ' too, that charity, ' the greatest of them all,' cannot be very prominent feature in the belief of that body, of which this straight-up-and-down witness seems so worthy a member. I have been credibly informed that one of the aspirants to civic honors has been a regular attendant at the Council Chambers for some Monday nights past, no doubt with a view to prepare himself for at once dropping into the work. 'Tis also said that the Mayor's chair has been an object of attraction to him, a sort of 'twill-just-suit-me look, pervading his intellectual features, at the termination of each inspection. Bravo old boy ! You're to be commended for your pertinacity, and I'm sure you'll look well in • collar.' Now we all know that you are very good looking, and your pose, with the doorway for a frame, make a very pretty picture ; but has it never occurred to you that there are ladies who are often compelled to pass your shop, to whom this interminable leer is offensive 1 Try a spell for an hour or two behind the counter during the day, my friend, it will prevent remarks being made as to your constant rudeness, and will rather improve the sale of your hand-me-downs. Oil dit, that if he's elected, the remainder of the debentures are to be taken up at about 200 per cent below par. This risk is run with a view to popularity, and the loss will not be so heavily felt when divided equitably among all the tax contributors. Five acts on a Saturday night with a long interval between each ! As a matter of calculation that would give say 500 drinks at fid = £l2 !os. or £(> 5s to each. Well, if 1 were lessee and full in with the arrangement. I'd want the place rent free for that night at least,

Might I suggest to the management of a certain place of amusement, that when expediency compels pieces of the " Judge and Jury" stamp to be put on, that a notice be placed over the entrance to the effect that no respectable females will be admitted that night. I am pretty well used to servant-gal-ism, and rather enjoy watching the rapid transformation from the chrysalis stasre that takes place after a few months colonial experience, but I could not help smiling the other evening as I was walking up the street, at one other little instance : A young "lady" with her lover were standing under a shop awning, the former having all the appearpearance of being a late arrival, when a little boy and girl approached them " Have you been sent for me?" said the fair one in an indignant tone. "No," the little fellow replied meekly, " Mamma said you were out, and sent us on a message " " Oh," continued the lady " that's all right then, but I'd like to catch your mamma sending for me." Yes, Andy, a few more ship loads of such helps, will well qualify you to receive the Order of the Bath.

And so they completely "lambed down" the dark one the other night, and two out of the three dice were loaded ! There must be a nice little nest in that place, and some pretty pigeon-plucking going on at times, which will no doubt be improved by the late addition I see knocking about. I make Mr Inspector Buckley a present of the hint. " I see by the " Employment of Females Act Amendment Act, 1873," that females can be employed in establishments only between the hours of eight in the morning and six in the evening, but only for eight hours between these two named ; and that a copy of the hours decided upon must be lodged by the employers at the R..M. Court, and with the Inspector, and be posted up in the workroom. I have been informed that shopwomen do not come under the operation of the Act, and that it is being evaded by compelling females to sell at intervals during the day, by which means they become saleswomen, but have to do their eight hours' factory work besides. The girls can also be compelled to work any hours after six o'clock, if an alternative is threatened them, for which the Act provides no remedy ; as the Inspector is only allowed to visit the premises " during working hours." This is certainly not as it should be ; as if the Inspector were permitted to visit premises at which work is being carried on at all reasonable hours, and find the girls at work after the time prescribed by the Act, it would obviate the result that would be sure to follow if an individual "witness" were to give inside information. " The explanatory notes in brackets are supplied by the • lecturer ; " and—(though not expressed, was of course understood), the other notes also, " not "■ in brackets. "Should the full number" (1800) " not be obtained, it is proposed, that properties Nos 1 and 2 should be drawn for." But supposing that say 1700 tickets are subscribed, will the balance after deducting the value of those two properties —be divided amongst the unsuccessful ones, or will an equivalent in property be also drawn for? I only want to know, you know. Not a bad story of the biter bit comes to me from near the Papanui road. An individual going home the other afternoon found a cow straying with a rope attached to her horns. Visions of a reward immediately flashed through his brain, and remembering the paddock alongside his house, he seized hold of the rope, and led the animal towards his domicile. _ After going some distance he met a policeman, who told him that leading a cow through the streets at that hour was contrary to the bylaw, in that case made and provided, so he was compelled to take the outskirts for it, and the cow becoming restive, broke away, leading him a good chase before he caught her again. lu this, however, he succeeded, but it was long after night had closed in,, and his usual dinner hour, before he. reached home! with his prize, calming his better half with tie assurance that there was a new dress " sticking out" of the transaction. Next morning the papers were eagerly scanned, but no appearance of a reward, and the following day he put in an advertisement, " Cow found ; all expenses must, &c, apply—" at the cost of two shillings. To his enquiries on his return home that afternoon, he was told that no one had called for the cow; when he said that after dark he'd go the paddock and milk her, which in addition to the reward in prospective, was another good thing he hadn't thought of before. So night-fall was waited for, but in the meantime another individual (the owner) directed by the advertisement had waited, also, and when darkness set in, he softly let down the slip-panels, and released his long-looked-for cow. lam told that when individual No 1 found out that individual No 2 hadn't even the courtesy to put up the slip-rails after him, he dropped the milk bucket, and audibly engaged for about teu minutes in well, not in prayer, in which the words " trouble," "two shillings," and " fool," were distinctly to be heard. This is too much joy: "Cremation can now be employed, and enjoyed by all classes in the provincel" Now Sammy, my boy, be true to yourself ; have your '' deed duly executed," and appoint the Victuallers Association as your "executors;" depend upon it they'll see you through it, and have you roasted to your heart's content.