MISCELLANEOUS.

Globe, Volume I, Issue 18, 20 June 1874, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

A portion, consisting of 10,000 copies of a recent issue of the " Dundee Advertiser" was printed on a paper manufactured from reeds grown on the banks of the Tay. The paper is said closely to resemble that made from jute. As far as the experiment has been tried, it is said to be satisfactory. Pining, sickly women should go to Colorado if they want health and strength. Mrs Prather was not able to sweep her room when she lived in Ohio ; but the other day, after living in Colorado one short year, she chased her husband half a mile with a fork .-*-American paper. A young blacksmith wrote his advertisement, stating that all orders in his business would be promptly executed ; but it turned out, "All others in this business will be 'promptly executed." On seeing this fearful notice, an old blacksmith threw up his hands and exclaimed : " Has it come to this, after thirty years of honest toil!" Owing to the careless changing of two labels by a Peoria clerk, an old lady in that city has been swallowing a rheumatic liniment three times a day, and an old gentleman has rubbed himself with blue pills until he can slide up and down the side of a house, when the weather changes, like a thermometer. The most astonishing casa of spotaneous nuptials has occurred in Hardin County, United States, where a couple were recently married, and|after the ccrcmony|the bride was obliged to ask her husband what her new name was. The parties had only been acquainted a few hours. Epitaph on a Colonial Secretary : " He who lies beneath this stone Caused all our colonies to groan. Whoso follows in his place Shall thank him for so much of grace, That he left him in the end Any colonies to tend." From " Judy." Clergyman : " I'm afraid you're tipsy, Lacbie." Lachie : "Ye needna be 'feered : yer quite reet." Clergyman : " I'm sorry for it." Lachie : "So am I, for I got fou far bwer soon. The whisky was gran*!" " What is a more exhilarating sight," asks a Vermont paper, " than to see eighteen handsome girls sliding down hill on sleighs?" "Why, nineteen, of course, said the Gazette. "To-see them upset," suggests the practical minded Britisher. Some useful lesson or example may be found in the most simple occurrences. At the Terre Haute depot recently, an old lady attempted to get off while the cars were in motion; A gentleman standing at the door prevented her. "Let her go," exclaimed a kind hearted passenger, "if she gets killed it will be a warning to somebody else." A man in Hartford has stopped his newspaper because his name was printed in a list of advertised letters, and his wife, happening to see it first, went and got it for him, and found it was from a young lady, who complained that he didn't meet her at Worcester, as he promised. Doubtful.—A young man being asked by a judge whether he had a father or a mother, said he wasn't quite sure whether he had or not. First, his father died, and then his mother married again; and then his mother died, and his father married again ; and now <he didn't exactly know whether they were his father and mother or not. Two lawyers have entered into a solemn compact not to drink intoxicating drinks except when duck shooting, for a year, under forfeit of £IOO. One of them keeps a duck in his back yard, and shoots at it every time he is thirsty. His opponent, has just bought a duck, too. We want to believe that story from a Peoria paper about Mr Henry Bull, but it is haid, very hard, to accept it with perfect confidence. Mr Bull, it is alleged, was fed upon calomel and blue pills by the doctors for a number of years, so that finally he became saturated with quicksilver. The other day, while he was standing by the side of the house, the sun came out suddenly bright and warm, and Bull began gradually to ascend. He stopped at the line of the sill of the second story window and hung there, suspended in space, until a thunderstorm happened to come up, which cooled the atmosphere, and then Mr Bull slowly descended. Now he has a graduated scale marked on the gable end of his dwelling, and whenever Mrs Bull wants to know how warm it is, she ties flatironsto Henry's legs to hold him down, and walks him round the gable and cuts him loose and lets him rise to eighty or ninety degrees, and when she gets the required information she lassoos him with the clothesline and hauls him down. We say we want to believe this anecdote, because it makes us happier to have perfect faith. But it is harder work than believing most lies, — [ American Paper.

There were green peaches on exhibition before one of our markets recently, and there was a melancholy interest in listening to the observations of people as they passed the stand. " Our Charley went to a better world with three of them," said one lady in a broken voice. " They made me an orphan," observed a rugged young man, wiping his eyes. " We'll meet above, dear Danny," and the young couple who said it hurried tearfully away. "My old man pegged out on them things," gasped a venerable lady from the suburbs. And thus the mornful procession glided on.—" Danbury News." "While journeying by rail," says a traveller from America, " I witnessd the following incident. One night, just after Iliad scrambled into my sleeping-birth, I heard loud and angry voices proceeding from the rear of the car. I 'tell you this is a sleepingcar, and you can't come in without a ticket.' ' Begoria, I had a ticket.' ' Where is it?' 'l've lost it.' If you really had the raisfottune to lose your ticket, perhaps you can remember your berth.' There was an interval of silcuce, Paddy evidently employing his thing powers. ' Och, by jabers !' he exclaimed at length, ' I was born on the 26th day of October." '