Reading for Everybody.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXVII, Issue 2413, 30 January 1909, Page 10 (Supplement)

Reading for Everybody.

MISTAKES iiN TELEGRAMS. ‘ SOME SERIOUS AND ANNOYING. OTHERS AMUSING, BUT VEXATIOUS. A question by Air. Bowden, member for Nepean, in the Federal Parliament, elicited the information‘that a mistake had boon made in the transtV mission of a telegram from Lithgow -* to. Kandwick Racecouive. The word ‘ifiW’- was omitted, and, owing to the error,' only ill was invested on the ra-cohorso Maranui instead of £6. Maranui Avon, the race, and the sender of the telegram alleged that lie had, in consequence of the operator’s error, a’ 1 POINT FOR THE PUBLIC. The omission referred to was earn ed in the hurry and bustle oi a busy clay, when mistakes, moi;e or less serious, are bound to take, place unless time, which is the essence of the contract in telegraphic work is sacrificed. But those who anathematise the telegraph operator will doubtless pause AViien it is stated that the official records of the telegraph offide show that, though 300,000 worus are transmitted, and received every day, the mistakes do not average one daily. Surely this speaks eloquently in favor of a system winch, tiic public demand's, must bo conducted at breakneck speed. l T venture to say,'’ remarked the telegraphic manager at the G.P.0., “that the lew mistakes which occur contrast more than favorably with tiro work done in any other public or private institution. If every little slip, due to the personal work of the staif, were treated with harshness, operators would soon lose nerve in the effort to exercise undue earepaud this would be to prejudice the business generally.” SOME MISTAKES ARE AMUSING. “I will admit,” said the manager, “that some mistakes are amusing.” Not long ago a mUsage was received from Geelong., addrecsed to a surburipi resident in Melbourne. It read follows: — '■& “Come at once. Mother in Paradise.” A sorrowing daughter-in-law hurried to G eelong, where the correct interpretation avhs placed on the teJegrani. It should have read: “Come at once. Mother is paralysed.” . " The fault really.lay witn the sender of the message. The writing was almost undecipherable, and the operator thought, doubtless, that he would nut the happiest construction upon it. A “CORNER” IN SAUSAGE SKINS. N_- A wholesale butcher in Melbourne was rather astonished to receive from Mount Gambler a telegram which read: — “Forward without delay GcAvfc saura ge skins.” The butcher did not reason why,, but .sent his men on the search for sausage chins. Just as he was about to consign them to Mount Gamhier it was discovered that “6cwt” should have been “Gibs.” lloAvever, the- skins had been gathered in, and a hue “corner'’ was created for several days. , THE OPERATOR AND THE JUDGE. A Victorian Judge, whose is well known, sent a telegram to his wife in Svdney. She. wao expecting Jv.m to join her at a certain steamer. Jfpiie message received was: — ~ “Departure delayed. Ear cut olt. The perturbed lady caught the next steamer, and when she reached Melbourne she found tlnvh the Judge hue crossed her track, and was fast approaching Sydney. However, she had the unbounded satisfaction of learning that the telegram should have read:— , “Departure delayed. Str Jabbrei ia--7 tion for ‘steamer’) put off.” . A HUSBAND’S DISAPPOINTMENT. Operators in the E.T.O. treasure up in their memory an error winch, at the time it happened, caused the greatest Tjossible amusement. Ala( .a had been on a visit to another and her husband was expecting ner speedv return. Ho received a messa ee, ‘ however. which, theugh sw«'owbiit unexpected and perplexing, raised his paternal hopes tp the highest pitch, for he was not blessed w.th a single olive branch. The telegram “Advisable to remain longer. Little. child.” . .. , Tho husband did not hesitate. j»-e went straight to Sydney, only to discover that his wile had dispatched, not the telegram he had received, but the following:— ' . , “Advisable to remain longer. Dittro C A xl REMARKABLE HAPPEN ING. The operator who inadvertently converted “insufficient” into “sufficient did pot dream of the- serious consequences of lus act. "Act it is part ol the history of a famous country case. A young girl died' and was buned. Allegations of neglect on part of the doctor were made and the body exhumed, in order that certain analyses cbuld be carried, out. Tlie analyst despatched a telegram to headquarters which said: — . , . ... . , “Hydrocyanic acid m sufficient quantities to cause death.” Tlie doctor was arrested under instructions from headquarters, and it lmd to lie formerly proved m court -that the words “in sufliccnt should have read “insufficient” before ho was liberated. The mistake, is one of the most remarkable in the annals of the NOT THE°OPERATOR THIS TIME. The telegraph operator is not alone responsible for tire confusion winch confounds in regard to telegrams. Quite recently a telegraph boy handed to the -wealthy owner.of a-surburban mansion a telegram addressed to ins son. The son was at an evening party, -/ and the fond parent read the con- “ Come earliest moment. Dear little baby boy.” ~ ... In a moment the parent s excited ima id nation had woven the complete story. His only sou, in whom all lus cherished' hopes were centred, Avas cladestinely married, perhaps to some unworthy girl. It might even je worse. Perhaps he -was not married ■at all. Until half-past two o’clock ‘ in the morning the. father, lamenting like David over his son Absalom awaited the boy’s returns- He camo -it last and vigorously denied -all knowledge of the feeder of the telegram. The fact was that it had been delivered rik. to the -wrong person. I he initials, name, and street were all the-sam.,. Jiut it was, sent to “22” instead of “222,” and -at “222” agonised suspense had reigned all day and night,

AN UNPARDONABLE MISTAKE. One of tbe most recent telegraphic curiosities to be stored away relates to. family Jile. A young wife, residing in Melbourne, sent her mother, in an adjoining State, a telegram which puzzled her very much. “A sweet little box arrived this morning.—Anne.” Annie’s mother pondered long and vainly. What little box did her daughter refer to ? Curiosity grew; and information was sought at the telegraph office. A ‘‘repeat” was obtained, and this time the telegram came through:— “A sweet little boy -arrived this in or nin g..—Anne. ” Just one little letter wrong, but Ayhat a difference it meant to ail concerned. WHY MISTAKES ARE MADE.

Perhaps it is because seventy operators are ticking away simultaneously in one big long room, where there is a SAvirl and a rush from morn to dewy eve, and on again through the night. Or it might be that, as each telegram goes through ten different hands before it reaches its final - destination, a mistake-merely shows that the slaif are human beings,ya-nd not infallible. Again, it might be that senders of telegrams write illegibly and make mistakes which the telegraph office is constantly correcting. Only one thing is certain: the telegraph office is blamed -for it all.—Melbourne “Herald.”

light in her eyes, sprinted ahead Avith renewed vigor. After her dive from the Botanical-bridge the swimmer again c-aino alongside tbo boat. “The dive avus just lovely.” she said as her friends crowded to the'side to congratulate her. At five minutes, to 7 the Princc’s-bridge was reached, and the crowd on. the river bank cheered Lustily .as the girl touched the boat-land-ing. Lamb ami M-arr concluded their performance by diving from Prinec’o ■ bridge. The six swimmers who completed the course finished in the following urder:—Harrison, M’Lareu, Lamb, Marr, Opie, and Miss Boobier. To Miss Boobier the swim was more of a Measure trip than an endurance test. “I just love swimming,” she said, when interviewed subsequently. “The wafer was a little cold., and I had to sAvim for nearly two miles with the cramp in my right leg. The pain was something dreadful, hut I’d made up ray mind to cover tho distance. After the cramp had left me I found J had a stiff neck. The first part of the swim was the hardest, but I didn’t led exhausted at any time. As you noticed , I used the single over-arm stroke. I find it the least tiring, especially, when I nept one arm below the Av-atcr. I’d like to dive from every bridge on the Yarra ; it’s such fun. “The English Channel,” repeated Mic-s Boobier, smilingly, in answer to a question. “Well, I may try that swim some day. You can‘say that I took part in today’s swim, just to show that a woman's powers' of endurance arc equal to Lbo-.o of a man’s.”

Miss Boobier is a native of Bendigo, and is 18 years of age. She first acquired a knowledge of SAvimming when eight years old,, but it avus only within the last lavo voars that she discovered her remarkable, po Avers of endurance. She has appeared professionally at Prince’s Guild and the aquarium.