THE REFORM OF MURPHY’S RENTS.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXVI, Issue 2116, 15 February 1908, Page 2 (Supplement)

THE REFORM OF MURPHY’S RENTS.

A STORY IN VERSE. (By i\ G. Wodehouse.) -there was a tune when AUtrphy’s React* has not the sort oi place Where any Jaw-a tuning bioKo would into to snow his kicc. It didn’t do for toll's and such to wander near tlie spot, For, in a way or speaking, we was what you might call ot. We used to spend tho hippy days in vierlence and crime, There wasn't: one wot kidn’t done his . little bit oi time; Tho gents what write in papers called us ooligans, I’ve ’card, But, .bless yer, tilings m Murphy’s Rents is ditlerent now, my word ! But no, i’. wasn’t what you think that m iue us mend our ways, There woven t no Alexanders nor no lorrevs in whose days; It wasn't hymns and sermons that converted us from sin. It was just an ’art-baked copper, which was mostly bones and skill. Him wot was on tho beat before got on ail right until He had a little argument one night with Ginger Bill, And in d.oo course to ’orspital that copper had to go, And then this other one arrived; wo grinned 'and said, Mhat ho!” He wasn’t what you'd call a blooming second 'Aekenscinnidt; He ad a pair of shoulders, b-ut you’d ’ardly notice it; Ho looked 'art like a suit of clothes just ’ung upon a pole. You'd mako a better mau than him o-f orange-peel and coal. Says Ginger Bill, “Is Murphy’s Rents a paradise or not f "Why ’avc they sent this nipper to eiiis appy kttio spot:-' Is -this tho hloko who’ll run us in when we are on the spree ? Why, I’d eat ’im,” says old Ginger, “for a relish with me tea.” And every time old Ginger met that copper 'on his beat, Ho used to stop and stave at him, and tlien ’e’d laugh a treat. And we noticed, one or two of us, as wo was pai-sing by, That the copper ’ad a gentle sort of dreamy-looking eye.

One night it chanced that Ginger folt a little extra gay, And he made a- small disturbance on the pavement, so to say. He was gettin’ pretty lively, but ’o kuln’t ’art begun, When 'tho noo-appointed copper conics along and sees tho fun. “Now, jest you como with me, my lad,” tho ’arf-btked copper said, And Ginger didn’t tbrk, yer see, b-ut ’it ’im on the ’end, And the copper, down ’o tumbled like, .as if ’e’d ’avo a rest, So naturally Ginger canto to jump upon liis chest.

He ’adn’t ’ardly raised his foot when things began to hum: It ’appened all so sudden-like, it struck us feerly dumb, The copper seemed to give a twist, and .that was all we kuowed Till Bill went (lying through tho air across the blooming road.

He soon came back, although wc seed ’o’d ’ad a nasty strain, The Conner gives another twist, and off he goes again, And we noticed, one or two of us, as we was standing by, That the copper ’ad a gentlo sort- of dreamy-looking eye.

He grabbed old Ginger by the arms and tied them in a knot, And twisted him about a bit-, and bent his spine a lot ; And Ginger ’e went quiet, looking what vou might call queer, As if to say, “Well, blimey, what ’us bin ’appealing ’ere?”

That done a lot of good, that done, to Murphy’s Rents. And why? M’c didn’t like that copper’s sort of dreamyfiooking eye; Wo thought to vox a man like him was iust a bit too warm, So Murnhy’s Rents they didn t watt, but started to reform.

Tho blooming fact wo subsequently learnt by slow degrees, Our copper ’ id ’ad lessons from tho blooming Japanese; It was wba<t they call Joo-Jitsu what ■’ad given him his skill. And, crikey! ’oiv In) did Joo-Jitsn poor old Ginger Bill.