FUNNIOSITIES.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXVI, Issue 2092, 18 January 1908, Page 1 (Supplement)

FUNNIOSITIES.

’ 4. XX b ° y ’. admonished tho minister, -don t you know that it is wicked to fish on Sunday?” ; “Fish oil Sunday?” repeated tho boy in injured tones. “Why, mister I’m only teachin’ this ’ere poor little worm how to swim.” A - Backlotz: “What’s this I hear > .Sr maU beh,g robbcd ‘ s Suhbubs: “Fact! They’re gono, an .d Mrs Kraft is the guiitv party ’» Backlotz: “What! You' don’t mean, to tsay site stole — 33 "if S ubb ub S :“Whatelsc can you call L-n- he offered tllo cook thirty shillings a week and tho chambermaid twenty shillings, and now she’s got ’em.” On a recent railway journey Airs the wife of an M.P., discovered that her umbrella which had'beeh ' entrusted to the care of her husband was missing. Udau » manST’ 8 Umbre ’ Ia? ” she de- ‘ I’m afraid I’ve forgotten it, mv*'* “It r in., e f le ?Ml y i ai h swer °d the M.P. <iT mi i S c die in the traiir.” a,,fotkf train ]” snorted the lady. And to think that the affairs of tho nation are entrusted to a man who tioesn t know enough to take care ot a woman’s umbrella 1”

A jolly old steamboat captain with more girth than height was asked if iio had over had any very narrow escapes. De replied, his eyes twiuKimg • • once I fell off my boat at tha mouth of Bear Creek, and, although * l m an expert swimmer, I guess I’d be there now if it- hadn’t been for cre " r . You see the water was fust deep enough so’s to be over mv bead when I tried to wade out, anil .lust shallow enough”—lie gave Rsf" body an explanatory pat—“so'fcfcat whenever I tried to swim out I dragged bottom.”

Dorothy was visiting her rents in the country for the first time. Seeing a quantity of feathers scattered about tho lienyard slio shook her head in disapproval. T( “Grandpa,” she told him' gravely, you really ought to do something to keep your chickens from wearing out 50.”..-