The Ladies' Magazine.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXVI, Issue 2086, 11 January 1908, Page 5 (Supplement)

The Ladies ' Magazine.

TIIE FAMOUS BEATRICE ITERFORD MONOLOGUES A PROFESSIONAL BOARDER. (By lß>atrice liciford, in the ".Ladies' Home Journal.’') (.Enters and takes a scat at- the table, nodding and tsaying “(.loud morning’’ to the other boarders.) Very disgraceful morning, isn’t it ? Ao, 1 don’t think I shall venture out to-day. 1 guess its three or four diys .since I’ve been out; it looked s> like snow yesterday, and Saturday it was so muddy, and Friday I expected, my sister all day. There’s such a wind to-day; I think it’s colder than any day we’ve had yet. You think Thursday was cold, Mr Bates?

No, I don’t either, .Miss Brown; 1 don’t think Thursday was as cold as some days we’ve had. Do you? Well. 1 don’t go by a therm,Miner; 1 have a heavy sacque with an interlining, and 1 know 1 was u-o warm ,n it Thursday. You won’t go out with your cold. Miss Parker, will you? -Oh, l think you’re furnish! Aren’t you afraid yen’ll add to it? Well, 1 wouldn’t go out just for that: its two weeks to Christmas; you’ll litre time to get them. I think I’ve got most of mv things now. 1 not going to give much of anything this year, anyway. 1 always semi the tilings just as soon as J get them, too. Oh, I don’t mind when they open them, as long as I’ve got them off mv mind. (turning to waitiess.) Hominy. I wish you would tell me something for a man. You ought to kno.v, Miss Parker, with all your gentleman friends. They never use the things you give them anyway. Now, lust Christmas I gave my nephew some neckties. I chose them very carefully; I didn't get him anything Imt what I’d wear myself. He’s always in a hurry, so I got them all bowed up ready; there was a kind of buff-colored one with a blue sprig on it. But he never wears them. Ve-, I know, I gave him one last year. J. gave him that “Gems ot 'Thought'' c ilendar, but lie used to pull a whole week off at a time, to use for shaving. I'll trouble you for the salt. Mr Taylor, before you go—-how's Mrs Taylor this morning?—it's right vn front of you —did I say salt? 1 meant sugar; excuse me; thank you —how’s Mrs Taylor this morning? That's 100 had, she doesn’t seem to throw if off at all does she? I thougut she looked dreadfully yesterday. I wish she would try .something my sister use;;. She's a constant .sufferer, so the ought to know what’s good for i-. Good-morning; led Mrs Taylor J. hop,* .she’ll be better soon. Cite never will be as long as she is ~o set. Now 1 was in her room last night wliile my bed was being taken down. J should ill ink J talked to her over hall an hour, telling her wlmt she ought to do; but it's no use; you see she's wo me this morning. I don’t see why .some of her own family don’t come and stay with her; they can’t care much about her. What do you say, Miss Perkinsf Oh, you’re acquainted with them? Where? Well, are they alt in Europe? Oh, there’s only her mother and sister. Well, they can’t care much about her. Some cold bread, please, Katie — graham. No, I thank you, I can’t eat any hot biscuit. I thought- I was better a while ago, but I found I had this —(tapping her chest.) I’m better without it. If-I bad my own way I wouldn’t have it on the table at all. I think everyone would be better without them. That reminds me, I forgot my medicine. Katie! Katie! . Will you please go up to my room, and on the bureau, back of that plush frame on the right, you’ll see a tall, fat bottle, and right side of it you’ll see two little bits of bottles; well, it's the one farthest from the large bottle I want.

I he ir Mrs Phillips is coming hack. No, she's going to luive the fourthfloor back. I'm rather glad, because she's always said a good deal about never having a. first-floor front. I presume she’ll say she prefers it now oil account of the view. Yes, Mrs. Watson’s- 'keeping her old room—l heard some one say they heard Mrs. Prescott telling someone that she was very disappointed; she had a chance to let the whole of her floor for the winter. I suppose she had the refusal of the room, but I should have told her she couldn’t have it. (Takes pills and drinks some water quickly). Katie, please bring me some hot milk; this coffee is entirely too strong. Where my sister boards she says the table’s splendid. She has a small room—she says the coffee is just like home-made —of course she isn’t in it much, and I tell her, I’d rather have a small room where the table is good —ami she says the other borders are all so unusually pleasant. Good-morning, Mrs. Watson; goodmorning, dear; going to school this morning? JDo you like your teacher? Well, 1 guess you haven’t any tongue. Oh, Daisy ! that’s not pretty ; well, 1 supposed you wanted to show mo you had one. (Turns to lady at her left.) Well," some children talk too much. My brother’s children are dreadful 1 it’s no pleasure to be with them in their own home. lie wasn't brought .up that way, and doesn’t approve of it, but my sister-in-law lias no more idea of bringing up children than— They are very different when they arc with me; but, of course, she won’t listen to anything I say. What are you drinking, Daisy? Don’t van like milk? Tell Mamma she oughtn’t to let you have colfee. Yes, I suppose it’s weak, but it seems as if she was very young to have it. What did you say, dear? Oh going to have your picture taken ; it that so? Where do you go, Mrs. Watson? Oh, no, I don’t care for his pictures at all. I had mine taken there, and I wanted to burn them all up, but, they cost so much, so I gave them away to my relations. ° Do you think they were good. Miss Clark? .

good. I don’t think they (looked like mo tin tlio first place. No, I don't earo for those artistic photographers. You see they won’t let anyone in the room with you, and, of course, they don’t know your worst side as one of your family does. Tho day I went my sister went with me, and two cousin.-, of mine, and 1 thought- if they all came in 1 should feel more natural, and they could tell him how t > take it. But lie shut the door right in their Incus; of course everything ho does is considered so artistic, but 1 thought it was awfully rude. And then I fixed my hair on the the side I thought ho was taking, and when it was finished it came out the other and was all drawn tight and looked horrid. Good-bye. Daisy ; l hope you’ll sit nicely for your picture. Not- a pleasant child -at all, is she? Very badly brought up. 1 should think her mother would want- to have a good picture of her; she’s very delicatelooking. She’s very hcalthy-looking, tho mother; yes, Mrs. Watson, its a pleasure to see her eat, isn't it

If you haven’t, any appetite yourself, it’s a comfort to sec others enjoy their food trouble you for tho toast Miss Bates. (Noils to Miss Patker, who is leaving the table). You t ike my advice, Miss Parker, and don’t go out with your cold. Very nice young lady, that Miss i’acker. (To lady opposite): Do you know anything about her family? Oh, no, 1 don’t ; I only wondered if you did; she always seems very nice, but I don't know—a young lady all alone in a boarding-house that way, it always seems a little (drinks her c ilfeo.) * * * * * Good-morning, Mr. Walker; no, you’re not the last. I suppose you were pretty tired this morning. I think [ heard you come in last night, didn’t. I. Well, I heard some ono come in about half-past one; I thought it was your door. Did you get your letter? I noticed there was one for you, because the pedtmark was Mrjr.shvillo, and my sister used to live there. I wondered if you knew atnyone there that J did? Oil, you haven’t been there? Well, did you ever hear your friends speak of the Rices? Very large family, lovely family ; or any of tho Graves, or-Parsons, Ronnises, Updikes? Mr. Updike is a fine-looking man, isn’the? Oh, you never lived there, of course Mho? No, I’m not-acquaint-ed with them; of course, I’m familiar with tho name. There are two sous. Oh, aren’t, there? Well, it’s a good while since my sister lived there. It’s a lovely place, the residential section is very handsome; some beautiful homes there. The library is very fine, isn’t it? Of course; I keep forgetting you haven’t been there. Well, 1 guess I’ll go along. (Folds up her napkin ami gets np). Katie, give mo a glass of milk, please, and I guess I’ll take an orange. Is there any of that celery left, Katie? "Well, I wish you’d see whether you can find any for me—just as quick as von can, Katie. Charlie is so fond of celery I thought' I’d take him -a. piece. Oh, he’s very well, thank yon; come in and see him some time; lie don’t look very well now. Yes, he’s moulting.