JAPANESE IN AMERICA.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXV, Issue 2152, 7 August 1907, Page 1

JAPANESE IN AMERICA.

MR, DOOLEY’S VIEWS. “Mr. Dooley” makes some amusing comments on the friction existing between the States and- Japan, which have an added point in view of tlie graver tension of feeling since they were written. Ho introduces the subjet with the visit of General Kurpki to Chicago: “Did you go to see tb’ Japs whin they were here?” asks Mr. Dooley. “I did not,” says Mr. Hennessy. “Nor I,” said Mr, Dooley. “I

was afraid to. They’re a divvle iv a sinsivite people tliim Japs. Look cross-eyed at tkim an’ they’re into ye’er hair. I stayed away fr’m th’ stock yards whin me friudi. Giu’ral

Armour was showin’ Gin’ral ICroky some rale slaughter. I don’t dare to go down there f’r fear I’d involve this fair land iv ours in war. Supposin’ tli’ haughty little fellow was to see me grinnin’ at him. A smile don’t seem th’ same thing to an Qry-ontal.-that it is to us Cowcassians. Ho might think that I was insultin’ him. ‘Look at that follow mukin’ faces at me,’ says he. ‘He ain’t makin’ faces at ye,’ says tli’ Mayor. ‘That’s tli’ way he always looks.’ ‘Thin ho must havo liis face planed down,’ say Krok.v. ‘lf he don’t I’ll appeal to tli’ McAdoo and lie’ll divastato this boasted raypublic iv ye’ors,’ lie says, ‘fr’m sea to sea,’ he says. So I stayed away. F’r a moment th’- peril is over. , . “But it won’t bo f’r long. Ivrv mornin’ I pick up. mo pa-aper with fear and tremblin’. ‘Tokyor, Juno

five. —Th’ whole nation is wild with excitement over tli’ niistlireatnient iv a Japanese in Los Angeles, an’ unless an apology is fothcoinin’ it will be difficult f’r tli’ govornmiilt to prevint tli’ navy fr’m shootin’ a few things at yo. Th’-people iv America shod know that they ar’ro at tli’, brink iv war. A corryspondint iv th’ Daily Salty, who worruks in an old porcylain factliry in Maine, writes that this famous subjick iv tli’ McAdoo, whose name has escajied him but who had a good job in a livery

stablo in Tokyo, before he was sint on a mission to th’ Amorican people to see what ho cud get, wint into an all-night restlirant an’ demanded his threaty rights, which ar-re; that tli’ waiter was to tuck his napkin into bis collar an’ tli’ liartinder must play

‘Nippon th’ Gloryous’ on a mouth organ. Onforchinitely til’ proprietor iv tli’ ill a co, a man Be th’ name

iv Scully, got hold iv a copy iv th’ threaty with Sweeden, with th’ sad result that he give th’ subjick iv th‘ McAdoo tli’ wrong threaty rights. Ho hit him over tli’ head with a

bung-starter. There is some relief in tli’ situation to-night based on tli’ report that tli’ Prisidint has sent an apology an’ has ordhered out th’ army to subjoo Scully.’ ‘Tli’ Impror

held a metin’ iv tli’ Elder Statesmen to-night' to discuss sindin’ a fleet to San Francisco to punish tli’ neglect iv threaty rights iv th’ Jap’nese be a stlireet-ear conductor who wudden’t let a subjick iv tli’ McAdoo ride on tli’ Thirty-first stlireet line with an Ogden avenoo transfer dated August, eighteen liundher an’ siventy-two.’ ‘Th’ Prisidint lias ordhered th’ arrest an’ imprisonmint iv a dentist in Albany who hurt a Jap’nese whose tooth he was fillin’. He has raquisted th’ McAdoo to give us another chance before lavin’ waste our land.’ ‘Followin’ tli’ advice iv th’ Jap’nese ambassadure f’r poor young Japs to marry rich American girls, a Japa’nese combynation theelogical student an’ cook applied f’r th’ hand iv’ tli’ daughter iv th’ boordin’-house keeper where he was employed. .He was able to limp to tli’ Jap’nese Consul’s house, where lie made a complaint to tli’ Impror, who was an old frind iv

his father. Tli’ Prisidint has ordhered th’ lady to marry tli’ Crink.’

“An’ so it goes. I’m in' a state iv alarum all th’ time. In tli’ good old days we wuuden’t havo thought life was worth livin’ if we couldn’t insult a foreigner. That’s what they were f’r. Whin I was stlirong, before old age deprived me iv most iv me pathritism an’ other infantile disordhers, I liivir saw a Swede, a Hun. an Evetalian, a Boolilbaryan, a German, a Fr-rinclmian that I didn’t give him th’ sliouldher. If ’twas an Englishman I gave him th’ foot, too. Threaty rights, says ye? We give him tli’ same threaty rights he’d give us—a dlirink an’ a whack on th’ head. It seemed proper to us. It ’twas right to belong to wan naytionalitv, ’twas wrong to belong to another. If ’twas a man’s proud boast to bo an American it was a

disgrace to be a German an’ a joke to be a Fr-riuchman. An’ that goes now. Ye can bump anny foreigner ye meet but a Jap. Don’t touch him. He’s a live wire. Don’t think yo call pull his impeeryal hat down on his bold, up-curved nose. Th’ first thing yo know ye’ll be what Hogan calls Casey’s Bellows, an’ manny a peace-

fill viliiage in liidyanny’ll bo destliroyf’r yee’er folly.” “It’s hard f’r .mo to think iv tli’ Japs tli is way. But ’tis til’ part iv prudence. A few years ago I didn’t think any more about a Jap thin about anny other man that’ll been kept in tli’ oven too long. They were all alike to me. But to-day, wliiniver I see wan, I turn pale an’ take off me hat an.’ make a low bow. A few years ago an’ I’d bet I was good f’r a dozen iv them. But I didn’t know how tur-rible a people* they are. Their ships are tli best in tli’ wurruld. We think we’ve got good ships. The Lord knows I’m told they cost us enough, though I don’t raymimber ever payin’ a cent f’r wan. But a Jap’nese rowboat cud knock to pieces th’ whole Atlantic squadron. It cud so. They’re marvellous sailors. They use guns that s’- 'ot around th’ corner. They fire '(p’ here injines iv desthruction wfr«9la niysteeryous powder marie of a substance on’y known to tliim. It is called saltpether. These guns hurl projyctiles weighin’ eighty tons two thousand miles. On land they ar-re even more tur-rible. A Jap - nose soier can march three hundhred miles a day an’ subsist on a small piece iv chewin’ gum. Their ar-rmy have arrived at such a perfection at th’ diffyeult manoover known -as th’ goose-step that they have made this awful insthrumpnt iv carnage th’ terror iv tli’ armies Iv Europe. As eav’lryinen they ar-ro unexcelled. There is on’y one horse in Japan, but ovry Jap’neso sojer has larned to ride him. To see wail iv their niag-

iiificient cav’ly rijmints ;goin’ into ictiou mounted on Joko is a sight

long to ho rayniimbered. “I sigh f’r tli’ good old days befuro we become wliat Hogan calls a wurruld-power.” “Sure, tliim little fellows wild niver tackle us,” said Mr. Hennessy. “Th’ likes iv tliim!”

“But whin >a man is little an’ knows

lie’s little, and is thinkiii’ all tli’ time lie’s little all’ feels that ivir.vbody else is thinkin’ he’s little, look out Pr him.” “Well,” said Mr. Dooley, “’tis liecause they ar-re little ye’re got to be polite to tliim. A big mail knons ho don’t have to fight, but whin a man is little an’ knows lies little, an’ is thinkin’ all tli’ timo lie’s little an’ feels that ivrybody else is tliinkin’ bo’s little, lqqk out f’r him.”

Fogs are common over sandbanks because shallow water covering sandbanks is colder than the deep sea. The banks of Newfoundland fogs are aggravated by the warm Gulf stream running into this layer of cold water.

The chief warder of the Lanstrasse prison, in Vienna, received an unusual compliment on Ill's birthday. The prisoners presented to him an illuminated address, in which his considerate treatment of them was extolled, and which ended with the •words, “Three cheers and many happy returns to our chief warder.”

An interesting letter was brought before tho Southland Education Board recently, Tho chairman of the Timaru School Committee drew attention to tho fact that for four or five years that school had been immune from ojiidemics, and he attributed this to* their method of sweeping. Instead of merely whisking the dust tip into the air, to settle down again on walls and ledges, they used sawdust damped with a solution of sheep dip. It was decided to havo the letter printed and circulated amongst tlie school committees of tho district.

An important point was raised at the last meeting of tho Southland Education Board, the truant inspector reporting that tho magistrate at Queenstown had ruled that lie had no jurisdiction over children attending private schools. Tho magistrate hold that before children could attend a private school they must have an exemption certificate, and onco they had the certificate they no longer came under tho provisions of tho Education Act. Members pointed out that if this were so the law could be evaded by a man- applying for an exemption certificate for his child, and then he could not be prosecuted if his child never attended a private school at all. Sections of the Act wero quoted to show that tho contro 1 of private school children was not forfeited, and it was contended that the magistrate had overlooked certain provisions. In tho meantime it was resolved to advise managers of private schools that it was necessary for them to apply for a general exemption certificate as per clause 143 of tho Act.