WHY MEN DO NOT MARRY

Gisborne Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 1951, 6 December 1906, Page 1

WHY MEN DO NOT MARRY

'To the Editor Gisborne Times,

Sir, —Your correspondent “ Pater families,” in his letter published in Tuesday’s issue, appears, while ex* pressing his own opinion on the sub ject, to bo seeking information, and although it is perhaps too much to hope, that any amelioration of the existing conditions can be expected from newspaper correspondence, still it may be worth while to present another aspect of the case. The subject is not a new one, but in any discussion of it, it always appears to be taken for granted that the growing unpopularity of the married state amongstyoung people is due to them and their personal reasons, whereas on closer consideration it may be found that in the majority of cases the fact is reallv due to the parents. If an equality of station exists between a prospective pair, by which is meant if the friends and acquaintances of the one are, or can be, the friends and acquaintances of the other—and that this is desirable cannot well be argued—the position usually obtaining is that the girl living at home is fed, clothed, housed and amused on the same scale as her mother, while the man is probably living away from his home, and while endeavoring to make his way in the world, resides in accordance with his modest means in a boardiDg-houso, or to use the elegant colloquialism in vogue, “ batches.” As a single man this income enables him to dress himself and participate in suffi entertaiu ments as offer, on equal terms with the lady of his choice; but the moment that the final plunge into matrimony is contemplated the position becomes altogether altered. The income wh-.ch has been devoted to his personal wants,-must now be requisitioned for their combined necessities, and the income repre ented by the girl’s living and other expenses, ceases. Now, optimistic view though it may be, 1 have a sufficiently high view of the unselfishness of lovers to believe that the young couple will bo ready to make the very serious sacrifices which must always bo required in such cases —if they are allowed. But are they allowed ? The parents want the daughter to go on from the point at which they have left off, and the pros pective but impecunious bridegioomis shown, politely or otherwise, as the case may be—the door. A man is recognised as having his way to make in the world, a woman is considered to have had hers made for her by her parents. This may be right or it may bo wrong, but if marriage is, apart from a husband’s income, a desirable institution, it rests with, parents to draw more attention to its abstract virtues and less to any temporary material disadvantages that it may on* tail. And thus also may wo har lets of falling birth ratos and ill-assorted unions. But the point of this argument lies in its application, and who will admit that the cap fits ?—I am, etc., Ciiesil Beach.