THE POLYGLOT PAPERS.

Gisborne Times, Volume XIX, Issue 1641, 6 January 1906, Page 3

THE POLYGLOT PAPERS.

|By Alpha.] “ A chiefs among yc tailin’ notes, An’ faith, he’ll print them# To put it in the bulk, I Jam “ suffering a recovery.” Not, be it understood, from the effects of festive “nips,” or “ long-sleevers.” To save tho No-License League from being shaken by any further shock, I scornfully repudiate any sinister inference or insinuation of that kind. My liquid refreshment goes no further than “ the cup that cheers, but does not inebriate.” The martyrdom lam suffering is the all-overish, languid, limbaching process of recovery from Christmas jaunting and’’New Years Day picnicking by boat —rowboat, to wit, ud tho Waimata—to “ The Hole-in-

the-Wall!” These highly festive trips were blurred with a disappointmeat, I couldn’t find any. wall, and, consequently, failed to discover any hole belonging to it. Ihe wall has disappeared, and, of course, the hole couldn’t remain without it, yet people talk of their existence with, oven more certainty than when referring to that exalted personage, who, according to tradition, is a resident of the moon. I observed a published statement this week to the effect that a Gisborne gentleman had spent his annual holidays at the Hole-in-the-Wall for thirtysix years ! Now, I want to meet that highly favored citizen, I want to wring

from him the secret of this invisible geological wonder, and explain how he contrives to hold his once-a-yoar picnic in a hole that can’t bo soen be- | causo it’s not there, and under the shadow of a wall that’s not visible because there’s no wall to make a hole in i I’m getting rather tangled over this New Year conundrum, so I—give it up.

At all events, we spent a sunshiny time in that mystic region, irrespective of holes or walls real or imaginary. It was there that we discovered an | amateur gipsy encampment, consisting of a tent, the special sylvan residence of a fair bevy of young lady gipsies, a nondescript, but comfortable canvas dining saloon, with grass floor, a primitively built table, two slab benches for seats, and sundry boxes and hampers, which, just boforo munching time, wore a very plethoric picnic appearance, and a collection of peripatetic crockory and cutlery that | indicated no friendly intentions to*

wards tho boxes and hampovs, and the inspiring motto of “ Fall and Plonty,’ could well lmvo boon hoistod tbo sign manual of this al froseo Troeftdero institution. Thoro was also a bunk-furnished but with iron roof, which was tho temporary “ don ’’ of

tho malo gipsios, who wore jovial, gonial, and gonorous, and evidently quito independent of local lion roosts. Tlio young lady gipsios (Lor’ lovo ’om!) appeared in becoming, go-as-you-please outfits of kitchen prints and Rowing back hair, and thoir smilos of welcome, their words of gracious greeting, and their silvery laughter, (lay stress on tho “ silvory,” ploaso !) all i combinod to make ono lament having

reached the age of Old Bulforism, and, on reflection, it is no wondor that the aforo spocifiod Gisborne picknicker has spent thirty-six years in this fasI equating region, giving out, (the sly Lothario !) that ho was attracted by that convenient fiction of a holo-piorced wall!

The young lady and gentleman gipsies received us right 'courteously, feasted us right sumptuously, and entertained us right royally. It was a veritablo saturnalia of tea, (uolicensors, please note !) ham sandwiches, cakes, and [confections, interspersed with the digestion aiding strains of a superb phonograph that j introduced the voices of some of the I world’s greatest singers, thrilling over the waters of the Waimata, and waking vocal and musical echoes in the Hole-in-the-Wa—a in the adjacent I neighborhood! From such delightful and seductive dissipations it takes time to recover, and tho memory of that ex cursion, with its sylvan enjoyments, its gastronomic pleasures, its fairylike, gipsy attractions, and its insouciant freo-and-easyisms, will haunt me for many a day !

Over in Auckland they have been celebrating the festive season with a

street riot, emphasised with the crackling of broken windows, and the hooting and hustling of the police. Staid, sober, ultra-respectable, if not rigidly Pharisaic Auckland ! What in the world could have so violently convulsed that demure, respectably dressed city? Can it be that insurrections, like the measles, are “catching,” and that some microbes of the Russian rebellion have [been surreptitiously wafted across the sea from that delectable Muscovite land to in-

fect the Aucklanders with Moscovitish misrule ? But understand, dear sir,

that the rioters were not genuine Aucklanders, nor real true-blue New Zealanders in any sense. Perish the thought! They must have been—yes, they must have been self-imported hoodlums from Sydney, that detestable place, or larrikins from Melbourne, or hoo-hoos from Brisbane, or Adelaide, or Perth, or anywhere else you please, but that they were Aucklanders—New Zealanders pure and simple—never, sir, never I We are a people famed for our peaceableness, our meekness, our quietude! Pickpocketism, burglarism, swindleism, blackguardism of any variety, bookies, spielers, and mags, all come from

“the t’other side” to disturb our Arcadian peace and compromise our innocence, showing how very wicked those “ t’other siders ” are. To preserve us from all such contaminations, it will be necessary for the Right Honorable King Dick to issue a mandate for the erection of a 20ft high barbed wire ring fence all round our picturesque shores, thus preventing the isms aforesaid, including riotism, from entering into and disorganising our paradise. We must defend our reputation for being a select and highly virtuous people.

Bowls ! Yes, and a choice team of Gisborne bowlers have excursioned to

Wellington to win and bring hack the championship trophy. I’m not a bowler-know nothing of the game — hut I admire it, not only on account of its historic intorest, and that every bowler becomes a sort of bowlinggreen descendant of the immortal Drake, but because , the game is healthy, gentlemanly, harmless both in a physical and moral sense, begets no bitterness, breeds no swear-words, requires judgment, skill, and general thoughtful gumption. It leaves football far behind, and in some things is' even superior to cricket. What our team will do with the Wellingtouians and others, or what will be done with them, time, and but a short time, will reveal. I hope they’ll bring back a few laurels, if only for the purpose of showing how modestly they can wear j them.

St Andrew’s Church Services.—Sunday : Special services for the first Sunday of the year will he held. Sacrament of the Lord’s Supper dispensed at the close of the morning service. Subject of lecture in the evening, “Is Jesus Christ played out yet Strangers in town cordially invited. Salvation Army Services.—Sunday : 7 a.m., prayer meeting, Christians invited ; 11 a.m., Holiness Meeting; 3 p.m.; Free-and-Easy ; 7 p.m., Salvation Meeting, special congregational singing, Miss Gilbert will sing.

Wesley Church Services.—Sunday : 11a.m., “ A New Year’s Message;” 7 p.m., “Tbo Old Year’s Farewell.” Preacher, Rev. G. Frost, Waipawa. Como and spend the first Sabbath of tho New Year in God’s House.

Baptist Church Services, Whinray’s Hall. —Sunday: Morning, 11; evening, 7, “A Caution.” Vocal and musical numbers by Miss and Mr Parker. Sunday-school at 2.3o.—Rev. D. Parry