LANCE NOTES.

Gisborne Times, Volume XIX, Issue 1526, 7 August 1905, Page 4

LANCE NOTES.

A journalist baa been charged with being illegally on licensed premises alter hours 1 . lie pleaded ho was after news, hub' way lined ss. IBs ithir.sji for tf copy got him down. Mr Symes, M.I-I'.K., lias already niado liia oloctioiii certain for the ■next Parliament. In other words,' he has arranged .that a copy of Hansard shall be regularly; laid on the table of ttilio Stratford Public. ‘Library. A ventriloquist, who has been surging through Now Zicalanfdi for the past year, gives his “Mrs Oi’Ro.urke” and other items,, and uses his au|ilionco 'to reply to fii. D. Bedford’s statements about prohibition.. Usually the man who is goldmounted and set with diamonds draws the big money in “ Tatt’s,” hut a boy at Perth, who was lying in the hospital oven a lost log,, and whoso mother is a poor .widow, drew, £OOOO. Safe robberies arc still common South The safety *is evidently; for the ioh hers.

The prospects of a radium trust are looking bide. The price lias dropped to £(i00,000 an ounce. Tlie difficulty just now is to find a citizen who Wasn’t been asked to take command of the new Artillery iCorps.

The To A!ro-Thorn;do.ni morning train had three passengers aboard one recent morning. This is not altogether, unprecedented.

■A Manawatu paper suggests whipping i‘ Bible-in-scTioolS” Wright, who allege,l that immorality, existed in Soufchorn s cahoot.

A Southern lady resented an application foil- divorce,, ojl tjiei grounds that she had been ” sober several times lately, but her hiu.sh.and hadn’t.”

Florence McCarthy has been editor of the Cfrey, Riven Argus for twentyfi vs years, and Florence, despite the name, is of the male persuasion. General Booth is no friend of the drama.. Since ho started business he has bought over twenty famous threatres for . conversion ‘ <i n t o

“citadels.” A thief, .fearing of discovery, lately, threw, a bundle of pound notes into a septic, tank. «£Phe ■ tank refused to have anything to do, with them. Too filthy.

Father* I-tays has taken so many Pledges during his sojourn with us that if he should ever think of opening a “ loan office ” he has plenty to fall back on. ‘ On the very day the cable came from President Roosevelt, telling New Zealand “ to keep your cradles full,”, there was a birth notice in

the daily papers. ■Tobacco triumphs. Ekctahuna Road Board has passed a resolution allowing smoking at Board meetings. Perhaps it may stow a good deal of ‘‘ filming.’’ Christchurch cabmen refused to give evidence against the police in the ‘‘riot” case, as to fall out with the men in‘ blue would mean persecution of those gentlemen. . As the resjult of the strain on .■valuable hens competing at eg'g-lay-ing competitions, it is rumored that a home-for ailing fowls will pp established.. Bov.ernment subsidy, of course.

A mail., charged at thto Magistrate-’s 'Court with borrowing many valuable hfiQks which he never returned, was descril cd ;by counsel as a <" bookkeeper” This is, of course, a merely " figurative ”• description. The British War Office stores scandal reminds me that we were extremely angry with Russian officers a while ago for “ making a rise ” out of the ration trains. The British plan seems to have been to sell them to one gentleman, who kept on selling the same thing back again. Ih the meantime, ‘'‘Tommy” Went on half-rations.

As showing how some good souls still look upon the breezes' of heaven as a sort of irritant poison, some auberban persons' have complained of the inhumanity of the re"..fives of a consumptive young man, who niut him out in a tent on a hill. Tlhe fact- .that the young man is ninety five per cent, better for a breath ,of nature has since reconciled them.