MR WILFORD ABROAD

Gisborne Times, Volume X, Issue 1001, 21 September 1903, Page 1

MR WILFORD ABROAD

(Lance.) Nearly everybody in the Old Country knew New Zealand. Mr Wilford was motoring one day with his brother-in-law, and they got lust. They pulled up at a country post-oflice. The responsible officer, who had handled the weekly mail of ten letters for years, questioned them as they seemed strangers. Tom told him ho was a New r Zealander. “ Don’t you go for to Itell me no such thing, sir, and you’re a speakin’ English ! ” A propos of Mr Seddon and the fiscal policy, and the “dust” that was raised about it in London. The newspapers published a big poster for circulation (Mr Seddon exhibited one in the House the other day), headed, “.Mr Seddon and the fiscal Policy. Mr Wilford wanted a copy of this-curiosity to bring home, lie called a boy at the Charing ('ross railway station. The hoy “ hadn’t got none,” but he’d get one. Running across the road he yelled to a friendly urchin, “ S’y Bill, ’ave yer got a Soddon’s Fistical Policy left ? ” Mr Wilford considers that, although not a New Zealander, that boy knew something. “ Ah, ha ! ’’ said Tom, as he noticed in Paris the sign “ Defense d’aflicher,” on a big building; “ this is the Defence Department.” But the further he went afield the more “ Defonse d’afficher ” appeared. Surely a very large organisation. Whole streets were so placarded. Tom’s French isn’t bad, but it isn’t perfect. When he saw a solitary little round topped building on a street corner still with the same legend attached, he inquired of a friend its meaning. It was merely the Parisian warning, “Stick no Bills.” Visiting the Oafe Maxine later, and seeing “ Defense fumare, ho“ tumbled ” that no smoking was allowed.

At Teueriffo the electric tram authorities charged lOd for a return ticket to Questa and back. By breakiug your journey you make this ticket valueless. It is easy to see the beautiful benevolence of this idea when one knows the State levies a 21 per cent tax on proceeds. - oin drove in a jaunting car from Sackviile-street (the finest street in Britain), Dublin, to King’s Cross station. “How much?” he asked Pat. Put looked twinblingly at the coming judge. “Well, yer honor, mean man give me a shilling.” Tom is uot a mean man.

The Post says that tho country and the Government may bo congratulated upon tho Infest nomination to the Supreme Court Bench. A sound and well-equipped lawyer, with the mature experience that eaL only be acquired by a large and variei practice, publicspirited citizen ever keenly alive to that which is best for the welfare of the community, a man of * blameless life and character, Mr Frederick R. Evans Chapman must upon all sides be admitted worthy of the distinction that is to be conferred upon him. Distinction of character and attainments have never been lacking in the history of the Supreme Court Bench of New Zealand, and it is safe to say there is not one among its distinguished occupants but will welcome Mr Chapman as a worthy colleague, while it may fairly be assumed that the Bar will learn of his elevation with equal satisfaction.

In Banco on Friday, the Chief Justice heard argument on a point of somo importance as affecting the jurisdiction of local courts in the colony. Counsel ruled to make absolute a rule nisi calling on the Stipendiary Magistrate in Wellington to show cause why a writ of certiorari should not issue to quash- the decision of August 27, convicting William Allen, an engineer, of an assault at Newcastle on Joseph King on board the steamer Sels-don, and imposing a fine of £l, with £2 2s costs. His Honor held that the conviction was had, the admitted offence 1 having taken place in another Colony, and the local courts had no jurisdiction ■in matters of the kind. On opening an article on “ The Betting Machine and the Betting Man,” a writer in the Sydney Daily Telegraph says:— A" country not far from this one, being cursed with rabbits, in some districts “ natural enemies,’ principally ferrets, were introduced, on the advice of false prophets. The ferrets strayed around the houses, living on the poultry, and occasionally gnawing babies, while the rabbits multiplied at the rate. Then the people discovered that they had got two pests—the one they had before, and the one they thought would destroy it. This is a parallel that might be instructively ruminated over by those who advocate legalising the totalisator here, on the grounds that the machine will extinguish the bookmaker.

We should have some hotolksepers in Legislature. As it is now, whenever one of our law-makers has a spare hour he drifts a Bill making it a misdemeanour for alandlord to stay on the earth. Last session at Albany, we wrestled with twenty-Beven Bills adverse to our interests, and one public-spirited lawmaker was with making it obligatory for hotels to supply guests with asbestos pyjamas. From “ A Few Remarks,” by Simeon Ford.

A peculiar case of a female Enoch Arden has ocourred at Rockford, Illinois. Mrs Louise Olson returned the other day to that town, after an absence of twenty-one years. She was injured in the railway disaster near Buffalo in 1882, was taken to the hospital and recovered, but her mind was not quite dear, and she wan .ered to France. Another viotim of the disaster died in hospital, an(l, by mistake, was buried as Mrs Olson. When that lady returned to Rookford she found the two babies she had left grown to man’s estate. Alexander Olson, her husband, was living with his third wife. Olson identified the woman as his first wife. She will recognise the rightß of his third wife. Born deaf and blind, a Boston boy has succeeded in acquiring a good knowledge of electrioity, and gave a demonstration of several experiments on the “ prize-day ” of his school. In a case where it was stated that the parties had come to terms, except as to a queston of L2, the Wandsworth (Kng.) County Court judge said: “ Surely you can settle that. Toss for it.”

A marble statue of General von Moltke ig to be erected in Berlin. Another steerable balloon has been invented by an officer in the Swedish Army. President Castro, of Venezuela, has ordered a press campaign against all foreigners. During a hailstorm in Dunfermline the hailstones fell on one side of the street only. Nine arrests have been made in Vienna in connection with a supposed dynamite club.

General Wade has rssumed the. command of the United States forces in the Philippines. It is stated that American soldiers and officers are being induced to join the Chinese Army. British Columbia has had fifteen different Premier in thirty-two years. In Western Canada Chinese labor is scarcely to be had for coal-mines as the yellow man is afraid of evil spirits. The golden-crested wren is the smallest, not only of British, but of all European birds, Mosquitoes were unknown in Switzerland until the completion of the St. Gothard Tun-

nel. 5 . A new hotePin New York City has a capacity f(JI 120 Q guests, and employs 1800 servants