MR WILFORD ABROAD

Gisborne Times, Volume X, Issue 994, 14 September 1903, Page 4

MR WILFORD ABROAD

(Lance.) In Brazil, Mr Wilford ascended the Corcavada Mountain in the electric tramway, which runs to the Hotel Internationale. The heat was indescribable, and Tom, being a New Zealander, and feeling that he would do the same thing if ascending Mount (Cook, divested himself of his coat. The guard, with a®face longer than a Seddonian speech, approached him, and, in fluent Portuguese, strove mightily with him about something or other. Tom retaliated in Maori, to the best of his ability. The despairing guard went to a gentleman who evidently knew his “ patois,” and came back smiling. He knew English this time. “So shocking j” he said. Tom, fearing that the morals of the Brazilians might be permanently disorganised, put his coat on. Mr Wilford went to Eome, and, accompanied by Mrs Wilford, visited the Colisseum, the Catacombs, and the Vatican. “ Would Milor object to the assistance of a lady guide?” asked the suave gentleman at the courier’s office. Mr Wilford wouldn't. The world is very small. The lady sent to the office was Miss Dick, of Dunedin, who |had been Mrs Wilford’s school “ Hello, that’s Wilford’s walk, I’ll bet! ” This in Edinburgh. It was Mr Dryden, of Harori! Although Mr Wilford cannot be said to be an extremely wealthy man, he had to pay thiity.-seven thousand for his dinner, bed, and breakfast at Bio. Feeling, thirsty, he trifled with a lemon squash. This trifling cost him another fifteen hundred. He bought a couple of boxes of matches one day, and tendered a shilling. _ He got eight hundred change! It is easy to be a millionaire in Bio, for 1000 reis equal a milray, which equals our shilling. It is as well to travel with a packhorse carrying loose change. (