A VOICE FROM THE WAIMATA.

Gisborne Times, Volume X, Issue 945, 18 July 1903, Page 2

A VOICE FROM THE WAIMATA.

AMUSING LECTURE BY MR R. E STEVENS.

It is a difficult task for a person to keep an audience amused for two hours at a stretch, but after bis experience at the Theatre Royal last evening Mr R. E. Stevens, of the Waimatn, can fairly lay claim to having achieved this. There was a large audience, and evoryono present was treated tu a sound lesson on agriculture, as well as obtaining a good laugh into the bargain. His Worship the Mayor presided, and bespoke a fair hearing for Mr Stevens. On coming forward Mr Stevens was received with much applause. He straightaway dipped into questions of agriculture, and showod the audience what a man could do with a hundred acres of flat laud so as to net from £3 to £5 more per acre than he did Rt the present time. He concluded this part of his address with about a dozen golden rules, of which we quote severall. “Always watch your crops, land and weather, and embrace all your opportunities if but for an hour. 2. Never take more out of the land than you put in. 3. Keep your land clean from everything except what you want to grow.” “ Well, Mr Chairman, we will now proceed to what is on the paper,” remarked Mr Stevens, as he went forward to ask what was the first subject to be dealt with. “If you recollect when I first addressed you in the old schoolroom,” added the lecturer, “ I said that everything we eat, drink, and wear 'should as much as possible he grown locally.” He then proceeded to show that a fiour mill was badly required in Gisborne, as also was a distillery, and a clothing factory. He could not understand why bacon was so high in price, and put it down to the waut of barley, whioh, he said, should be mixed with the skim milk to feed the pigs. Continuing, tho lecturer urged that the Harbor Board should do their own lightering. “ What is the next on the paper ?” asked the lecturer, as he found himself exhausted on the subject of lightering. “ Coal,” replied the Mayor in an undertone.

The lecturer, amidst ories of “ time,” and “ what about the water question,” proceeded to show how Gisborne could be supplied with coal at 80s per ton. He considered it one of the greatest mistakes that a politician could make was to discourage thrift, and this was being done in regard to the old age pension. Instead of being given £lB a year the old men should be given a plot of laud,, for there was nothiug like being able to go into one’s own garden and digging one’s own vegetables. Borne young farmers thought they knew more than tneir seniors of 40 years. His experience was that a man was never gifted with common sense and wisdom until he reaened 00, in the evening of his days, and just before his body and brain began to lose their strength. (Laughter.) “ Our present member has been dilatory in regard to answering correspondence,” continued the speaker, “ but I am not surprised at this. He has been encouraged in „it, because there was no political courage exhibited at the last election. (Laughter.) You blow your soap bubbles now, but they will disappear before the next election, when there will be 3ome plums held out to you to nibble at.” “ I am going to talk about that horrible, nasty, wretched prohibition,” said Mr Stevens, after consulting with the Chairman as to the next subject on the paper. “ Pure and plenty of it, and at a greatly reduced price, is my motto. It costs far too much now.” The

speaker contended that it was the beastly adulteration that was put iuto pure water that made people intoxicated. He could drink two gallons of beer he brewed himself, but when he went away

he could not drink two pints brewed at a brewery. He was opposed t,o the abolition of barmaids, believing that there were many worse places for the girls. He was willing to teach all the brewers of the colony how to make good beer. “If a man drinks a pint of this poison,” he added, “he will go home and kick the kids and knock his wife about, but if he drinks my beer he will go home and kiss the children and hug his wife. (Laughter.) Upon the ( question of railways the lecturer advocated the construction of the lines on the contract principle, and contended that the line to Ormond instead of costing £60,000, should have been done for £30,000. The Natives should sell their lands to the Government and bank the proceeds. At present there was too much law ; in fact, it was all law in regard to Native affairs. “ God only knows when the question will be settled,” remarked the speaker, “ but I suppose it will end when the Natives lose their land and their money too." He wished Messrs Macfarlane, Harding, and Shrimp ton every success in their noble efforts to solve a question which Mr Carroll had told them anyone could settle., If it was so easy it should be done next week, for the longer it dragged the less the Natives would get. (Laughter.) He had every faith in banks, because they had treated him well. The speaker put the audience into shrieks of laughter by advocating that “ rifle corpses ” should be established in every town, and " that every corpse should have its own weapon.” He held that Messrs Nelson Bros, in establishing the frozen meat industry had done more for New Zealand than Dick Seddon would do if he stopped here for fifty years. He considered that'-.taking acre per ' acre

Poverty Bay was the iS&hest place in the colony, and far superior to'Hawke’s Bay. Mr Stevens concluded by stating that he was prepared to answer any questions, and wanted the audience to tire away at him.

In regard to a water supply for Gisborne, which was the first question put, the speaker could not be, persuaded to give an opinion on the Waimata scheme, but he gave the following advice: “Be sure and mind that your reservoir ./olds tUe water, and be sure and mind that where you put it there is water enough to fill.it.” ,■ . ' '

In answer to other questions, the lecturer said that he would become a candidate at the next general election if he could save up sufficient money in the meantime to pay his expenses. He was not a popular man. He might have been if he had come to Gisborne and tried to make a few pounds, but in doing so he would probably have lost his farm and everything he owned. He could give the audience the solution of the declining birth problem, but he was not going to tell them that evening. He thanked them all for the attentive hearing he had received.

On the motion of the Mayor a hearty vote of thanks was accorded to Mr Stevens for his interesting lecture.