KING JO-JO AND KING DICK.

Gisborne Times, Volume IX, Issue 814, 31 January 1903, Page 3

KING JO-JO AND KING DICK.

SATIRE ON MR SEDDON

The Christmas number of London Truth is, as usual, wholly in rhyrno. On this occasion it consists of 11 King Jo Jo’s Diary.” King Jo-Jo, otherwise the “ Dusky One,” is the monarch of DjinnSling Land, and in his diary ho gives an account of his varied experiences while in England as a guest of the King at the Coronation. One portion, entitled ‘‘Jo-Jo Tackles the Jabberwock,” is of some local interest in Now Zealand, and we give below a number of the most amusing passages : Mr Scddou dictates a letter to King Jo-Jo to arrange an interview to discuss urgent questions and lay beforo him valuablo suggestions. Mr S.:

You know the right address. Despatch the noto 1 Secretary (writing on the envelope): I’ll sond it by “ Express.” MrS.: “Express?” No, Tomkins! Lot a troopor take it! That will a little more important make it. Secretary (pointing to Sentries at the door): Could one of these be spared, sir ? Mr S. (angrily):

No, sir 1 No 1 Upon my word, a pretty ona-horse show You’d mako of me—and, by the way, There’s something specially I want to say. (To the guards at door) Hi, there 1 you sentries 1 (They “hi.”) What is that you do When I approach ? First Sentry : We hold our rifles so. (They “so ” hold them.) That’s what we call presenting arms, sir 1 MrS.: Oh-h-h 1 That is presenting arms ? First Sontry : Ay, that’s the touch of it. Mr S.:

Then let me tell you that I don’t think much of it. Look here, nowl Couldn’t you, my gallant boys, Just make a little more fuss and noise ? Couldn’t you, every time I pass the door, Bring down your rifles bang upon the floor — Just mako thorn rattle, so that folks may know That “ Honest Dick ” is passing to and fro ? Please tell your sergeant what I’ve said about it. First Sentry : Right, Richard ! We will tell him, don't you doubt it. Mr S.;

You chaps are here at great oxpenso, you see, And you could do a real good turn for me. People get on in miscellaneous ways, But take my tip, lads, bounce it is that pays. So don’t forgot! First Sontry: Make your mind easy, sonny. You shall have honest value for your money. How will this suit you? (They go through an exaggerated sort of Royal salute, and, after a series of demonstrative evolutions, bring the butts of their rifles smartly down on the floor with a portentous baDg and rattle.) Mr S.: ,

That’s Al, my boys 1 Do it once more. (They do it.) Good 1 That’s a splendid noise ! First Sentry : Aye, aye 1 I’ll warrant you we’ll keep things humming. We’ll let ’em know when “ Old Man Dick ” is coming.

Mr S.: True-hearted comrades I Let tho cynic sneer: I’m not ashamed to wipe the grateful tear. (He wipes it.) First Sentry: Richard, we’re proud o’ you 1 Buck up, old man 1 Depend on ns to help you all we can. We’ll get tho new salute alright, don’t fear; And if that doesn’t wake ’em uplook hero 1 When there are swells about on special days, And you are keen to get the people’s gaze, Tip us the wink, or nod your head, or cough, And—dash it, Dick!—we’ll fire our rifles off 1 ”

Mr S.: Not a bad notion. I will think of it. Now for the Council which at twelve will sit. (He “ nows ” for the Council as the scene closes.) Scene 2.—King Jo-Jo’s Reception Room at the Up-to-Date Hotel. King Jo-Jo: To what presumption some bold men are led on. I’d heard before of this assuming Seddon. His bumptious self-conceit is past all bearing, But he shall suffer soundly for his daring. Tum-Tum, my friend, your aid in this I beg, We’ll take this burly giant down a peg- , , . „ Write, if you please, to him from my dictation. Tum-Tum: Gladly I’ll help, Sire, at your instigation. King Jo-Jo (dictating): In answer to your recent note, King JoJo bogs to state he is too occupied to give the audience you await. To well-koown people ho’s prepared an interview to grant, but to mere curious strangers he is simply Continued on page 4.