PATRIOTIC TO THE LAST.

Gisborne Times, Volume VIII, Issue 484, 25 July 1902, Page 4

PATRIOTIC TO THE LAST.

A couple of Englishmen, cu route for Rome, were joined by an American, whose blatant patriotism first amused, then bored them. No matter what was admirable, rich, or rare, there was always something in America to eclipse it, according to our countryman. The Britishers determined to teach the Yankee a lesson, and taking advantage ot the chronic thirst of their companion, they plied him with all the liquor that he could he induced to absorb, an d then proprosed a visit to the Catacombs. Before they reached their destination they were obliged to guide his errant steps between them, and at length, overcome by drowsiness, the American begged to he left alone to lie down at his ease. When sounds as of a discharge of musketry issued at regular intervals from the nose of the prostrate patriot, his companions concluded that he was dreaming of the Fourth of July, and would therefore be oblivious of anything nearer at hand. Producing a sheet, purloined from their hotel, and until now carefully concealed, they wrapped the sleeper like a mummy in its folds, and then left him to " do ” tho Catacombs on their own account. Returning an hour later, they found him still sleeping. One of thc-m thc-n drew from under his coat a tin fish-norn, and blew upon it a blast that only c-lieited a grunt and produced a fluttering of tho eyelids of the sleeper. A second . blast, however, longer and louder, brought him to a sitting posture, with eyes wide open and senses all alert. A moment of bewilderment, and then he exclaimed, joyously, "Gabriel's trump I Resurrection day 1 First man up 1 Hurray 1 America still ahead J"