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Gisborne Times, Volume VI, Issue 280, 5 December 1901, Page 1

The Observer tells of a rather Funny practical joke that has had a big run in Sydney lately, hundreds being “ had ” with it. One person would be bidding another good-bye, when he would say, “Oh, I wish-you would ring up 39 Paddington, for me, and ask iiow Jessie is.” ■The answer is naturally, “ Jessie who ?” But the other runs off, saying, “ No time now, Just get 39 Paddington, and ask about Jessie—they will know. She’s been ill. She’s a friend of mine. This lias been done over and over again. 39 Paddington is the Zoo,and Jessie the elephant. The unfortunate people at the Zoo have been" so victimised, that there have been letters in the papers threatening to have the telephone cut off. One girl rang up, and the man in charge answered her so rudely that in her indignation she told her father, a very quick tempered old fellow. He immediately rushed to the telephone, and after a fearful lot of trouble got 39, and then said to the man, “ How dared you speak so rudely to my daughter just now. Tell me at once how Miss Jessie is, or I’ll have you reported.” The explanation given with some uncomplimentary personal adjectives caused more ructions, but at latest Jessie’s health was still being enquired for,

Punch’s report that Premier Seddon is to be appointed to a South African Governship is repeated with emphasis hero and abroad. There are more improbable things, and Dick would make a good Governor, but he is probably more useful in Maoriland than he would he anywhere else.—Melbourne Punch.

The young New Zealander —blessed with all that a fertile land can give him—is too prone to worship success, and is apt to forget that success is a failure if it is based on what is weak or contemptible, even if endorsed by the decision of magistrates or the opinion of counsel, and is called legal —Ellesmere Guardian. We learn from a private source that the labor legislation in force in New Zealand has. been cast up against Messrs Cadman and Smith, and lias had a great deal to do with the English people having shown no anxiety to form a company.—Hawera Star. Mr Symes has come out of the fiery furnace of the debate on the Payment of Members Bill very well and looks no worse nor more miserable for knowledge of his increased “screw.". —lnglewood Record. The British Army has more than one illustrious General-we have just paid our respects to Scotland s Fighting Mac,” so let us have Irelands Fighting Pat," or any of the others. •• Let ’em all come ’’—Hokitika Times Mr F. Pirani, M.H.R., is one of the queerest coons we ever heard mention of. In or out of Parliament, it is all the same to him, he keeps his name before the public in a manner that licks creation out of any vane > artist.—Kumara Times. Tom Mann, the London Labor leader who took to heer-selhng m Corney ville and was fined for unduly water ing his booze, says a good man s intentions arc not appreciated in the Big Smoke, and lie is going to shift out and make himself at home m Maoriland. Tom will find the liking foi watered beer quite as limited m New Zealand as in London.. Mel bourne Punch.

We claim and we intend to ma nta n the right to rule our own home non own way, according to our own will, but none the less, we are proud ot the' old land and the old ties and we e lorv in the fact that we are of Brithat we form part of the British Em pire—Sydney Newsletter. T ittle Girl : 17611, its nothing if you did -o to Auckland. Pa’s going to the dogs S soon ; lie said he was, and I m going with him. “ Mv son,” said the good old man, *• i! ,ou mlr work hard enough, when you undertake a thing you re “ be at the top when youve finished. “ But suppose I undertake to dig a well ?” Mother - “I wonder bow this new book Tot in such a terrible> condrtion. Little Max : “1 heard Pl* , • t ed was too dry for him. so I poureu water on it.” Marv had a little lamp, ’Twas full of kerosene , One day the lamp it did explode, Since then she’s not benzine.