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Gisborne Times, Volume VI, Issue 213, 14 September 1901, Page 3

The revival of the “ sticking up” industry in Australia naturally raises the question as to whether anything in the same line could be profitably worked in Auckland by an enterprising band of criminals. So far as ’buses and trams are concerned the residents of Ponsonby aro, it seems to me, secure. Houses are close together, and close also to the road all along the route, so that any attempt to bail up any vehicle would be exceedingly risky. But out Epsom and Reinuera way the chances of success would be considerably greater. Tackling the last tram or ’bus on a quiet part of the road would be tolerably simple, for people are usually tired and drowsy with the shaking and jolting, and the thieves would bo masters of the situation befovo anyone had realised what had happened, It is, however, very problematical whether anything in the way of a good haul would be secured. The majority of peoplo who go to theatres of an evening, or have been working in town, do not carry any very extensive amount of money in their pockets. A largo proportion of the passengers would, moreover, bo women, and these would almost certainly prove blanks. A few watches might bo secured, and a certaim amount of small change, but that is about all. The opportunity for a sensational and profitable sticking up enterprise would be the race train from Avondale after one of the meetings there. The pace at which the train travels would enable the gang to board her while iti motion, and three men to each carriage could easily “ clean out ” those who had had a good day. The process would no doubt be looked upon with a gloomy satisfaction by those who had been “ broke ” on the course, for it is a

genuine comfort to the majority of losers to see a jubilant winner come to grief. After the operation was completed the spoilers could easily ride or cycle into town long before the train load of victims could arrive to tell of their misfortunes. Of course, there is the telegraph wire, but this might be cut, and even if this were not done after all some risks must be taken. —Star.

The gentle exercise of the “catch” is the latest literary form of humour in England. Thus, you ask the question, “Why did the soft goods box?” and, thinking of our recent | drapery sales, would reply. “Because they saw the bargain counter!” Another pugilism, “Can the sardine box?” “Nu, but the tamato can!” Natural history item—“ Why did the fly ily?" '-Because the spider spider!” Dr Chappell told a funny story in bis First Aid Class last week, about nature (in the shape of a child’s lungs, which had taken in a pike of grass) “getting the ‘spike,” and ejecting the grass through the child’s side. Well, here is a catch for the doctor—" When was the jugular vein ? When it saw the proud flesh !" We might use homely and topical examples of this exercise, such as—“ What is wrong with the Marine Department?” “It’s Hall-Jones.” “Can the Government Carroll?” “No, but it uan do its Ward dance!” “Why is the Government athletic? Because it has its Walker!” “Why should the Premier go in for flour ?” “Because he has his Mills !”

Ii is a remarkable thing that of the eightysis counties in the colony, including Stewart Island, the males predominate in all escept one, and about the name there is'something significant—Eden. The woman was evidently boss in Eden at the start, if Adam’s version of the story is to be believed, and she means to keep up the traditions of her sex.— Tauranga Times. New Zealand was not going to let Old England call in vain, I Together they the foemen met, And side by side were slain. 'Tis said “ disease kills more than war," And nothing can be truer; When coughs and colds knock at the door, Take Wooes’ Great Peppermint Core.