Page 1 Advertisements Column 5

Gisborne Times, Volume V, Issue 74, 30 March 1901, Page 1

A loss of closefon £2,000 has been made b,y the Victorian Amateur Turf Club over its autumn meeting. This is double the amount lost last year. The attendance on the first day of the meeting was less than last year, but the returns on the two other days were up to the average of 1900. The falling-off in the receipts was principally in the direction of accounts received from owners’ acceptances and forfeits. .The payments all round were made lighter, and in consequence £7OO less was received from owners than at last year’s meeting. The principal shortage was in connection with the Futurity Stakes, which has been a source of trouble with the club ever since its inception. A Wellington correspondent thus banters the Premier: — When the Premier went on his famous Island visit some time ago he took with him in his retinue a photographer and a historian. “0! that mine enemy would write a book.” So the historian did so, with great painfulness and assiduity, and much coining of island words and phrases. For he was a man versed in many island dialects. And the photographer threw his lens upon “ the King ” in many postures and in many places—and the joint product found its way to the Government printer to be set up and turned into literature (at the colony’s expense). So after much type had been set, and many pictures of himself arrayed in (a) his Windsor uniform, and (b) the picturesque garb of the islands, and sitting side by side and tete a tete with, the more celebrated of the kings and queens and rulers thereof. Then the great one rose up in his wrath. •“ Curse me, this bookworm,” he said (or words to that effect), “ and curse me this photographer! The one hath made me to platitudinise like a demented parrot-monkey, ancb.the other hath made me to appear likei a bereft, black-faced, bald-headed, beaefigomber! ” (or words to that effect.) Nextpay a pillar of smoke arose from the precincts of the Government printing office) and compassed the city round about for many horns. The island literatijrb (printed at the colony’s expense) had been committed to the flames!