HUMOUR

Gisborne Herald, Volume LXVI, Issue 20110, 2 December 1939, Page 15

HUMOUR

• • More or Less Ililllijß

Nice of Him Daughter: “Daddy, would you be very sad if I went away and left you?” Rich father: "Very sad. my child.” “That is why I promised to marry Mr. Migson.’’ “But lie hasn’t a cent." “That is just it. For that reason he has consented that we should live with you.” So Kind! Fond and fussy, the mother had taken her little boy shopping in the big stores with her. His treat was to be a visit to the toy department. Here an efficient shop assistant tackled her. “Would your little boy like a game of snakes and ladders, madam?” she asked. “Oh,” smiled the proud parent, "I know he'd love it—if you’ve got the time to spare!" Such a Shock! As the artistic lady strolled along the country lane, she came across a hefty old man cutting back the hedge. “Ah!” she sighed. “What a delightful scene—so quiet and rural. So far removed from the hectic rush and bustle of town. So definitely Old England. May I talk with you, my good man? I’d love to hear your rural dialect.” And the old man beamed at her as he replied: “That’s O.K. by me, baby!” All Mixed Up “I called on Mabel last night and I was hardly inside the door before her mother asked my intentions.” “That must have been embarrassing.” '“lt certainly was, but the worst of it was that Mabel called from upstairs and said: ‘Mother, that’s not the one.’ ” Lucid At a big factory a man went to the Irish foreman and asked for a job. The foreman said he had no vacancies at the moment, but added: “But I’ll tell you what. There’s one of our men here to-day who hasn t come. If he doesn’t turn up to-morrow I’ll send him home and you can have his job.” Others, Too • First Letter: “Dear Sir, —Before our marriage you were on very friendly terms with my wife. I must therefore request you to avoid our house for the future.” .Second Letter: “Dear Sir,—l am in receipt of your circular letter.” Sweets From the Sweet “Yes, being engaged involves certain duties. I send my fiancee sweets every day.” “Every day? That must run away with the cash.” “It certainly does. But there's one compensation . . . there’s a dinky little girl in the sweetshop.”