HUMOUR ..More or Less

Gisborne Herald, Volume LXVI, Issue 20068, 14 October 1939, Page 14

HUMOUR ..More or Less

Final “Brown is going tc retire from business for five years." “Oh, I've heard him say that before." “This time the judge said it!" Page the Wife ! "How are you getting on at home since your wife went away?" "Fine. I’ve reached the highest point of efficiency. I can put my socks on from either end." New Game Father: “Now, Jane, what were you d: ing last night at the gate?" Jane: "John and I were playing Kith and Kin." Father: "Kith and Kin! Whatever do you mean?” Jane: "John said. ‘Can I kith you?' and I said ‘You kin . Perfect Match Two American students were talking of the approaching marriage of their friend Bobby and their classmate Mary. "Mary is a perfect gem of a girl—swims, cycles, yachts, flies, plays golf, rides like an Amazon, and drives a car like the very devil-” "Yes, it ought to be a perfect marriage, Bobby is a first-rate cook.” Many Points —Many Pints Two neighbouring villages were due to play each other at football, and the rivalry was intense. The oublican on one village offered a pint of beer to every man in the team for every goal that it scored. Not to be outdone the publican on the other village made a similar offer.

At half-time one publican sent his boy down to find out the score. The b:y came back with the following report: “It i.s a very close game, sir: we're leading by 23 goals to 22!" , Too Exhausting The applicant for a job as housemaid w as being interviewed by the employment agent, and was asked if she had any preference as to the kind of family she would like to work for. “Any kind," she said, “except highbr;ws.” “You don't like to work for highbrows?” “You bet I don't," she said. T worked for a pair of 'em once and never again. Him and her was fighting all the time. and it kept me running back and forth from the keyhole to the dictionary ’till I was worn to a frazzle. ’