MOTHERS-IN-LAW

Gisborne Herald, Volume LXVI, Issue 20040, 12 September 1939, Page 15

MOTHERS-IN-LAW

CLUB IN NEW YORK UNITED IN SELF-DEFENCE REMOVING THE “STIGMA” Mother-in-law trouble occurs in oven the best of families, in slum tenement and spacious home. Whose fault is it? How much is caused by unjustifiable jealousy, by unwarranted interference, or by preconceived prejudice with which young people start their married lives?

The mother-in-law question lias long been assured of an over-ready laugh. But fundamentally it is no laughing matter, and for the first time muchmaligned mothers-in-law have decided to do something about it——so me thing that may remove the “stigma,” and more importantly remove the cause of opprobrium.

And the first step that has been taken by New York’s newly-formed mothers-in-law club is to appoint officers who can be classed as ideal, with a divorce court judge as chairman of the selection jury.

How can one find out who is the best mother-in-law?

The jurors who decided the issue included housewives, movie stars, a newly-married husband, and other competent people, and decided to ask aspirants for office for their own records.

Entrants had to fill in forms containing the following questions: Why do you think you are a perfect mother-in-law? What is your own method? Which are the rules to be followed if you want to be considered as a good mother-in-law? The answers had to be given in five paragraphs. In other words, the jury sought the “Five Commandments of a Perfect Mother-in-law.”

The Five Commandments

Among the several thousand “essays” the jury received, those of Mrs. Schlesinger and Mrs. Lorna Doone Mitchell were chosen.

Mrs. Schlesinger's five commandments read: —

Be a pal to your son-in-law or daughter-in-law, and never act as a superior.

Be a good sport. Don’t try to manage the children’s home life.

Do not criticise your son-in-law or daughtet-in-law to your own child. Above all., keep smiling, no matter what happens. Mrs. Schlesinger has been a mother-in-law for 19 years. She has two ■daughters-in-law. And one of them came with her to testify to the truthfulness of her claims. And she should really know. Ami Five More ■Mrs. Mitchell, who has a son-in-law, and who was chosen to share the chairmanship, set out the following as her “five commandments”: — Do not meddle or try to control the life of your children. Stand by for help if needed, otherwise leave them alone. Treat each with the same affection and consideration. Don’t show emotional preference in favour of your own child.

Never argue because of opposing viewpoints. Maintain a give-and-take attitude without aggression. Never criticise one to the other, give unbiased opinion if asked. If involved as a mediator point out the good points and assets of the one complained about. Keep your sitnse of humour. Keep your emotional balance. Don’t let your heart over-rule your head at times when a calm, sane influence is needed.

Mrs. Mitchell also brought her son-m-law to the battlefield. And he, too, acknowledged her as an angel'. Two resolutions were presented at the first meeting of the club as a means of fighting the mother-in-law bogey. The first was a request that all stage, motion picture, vaudeville, and radio comedians and comedy writers should refrain from all jibes and sallies aimed at the mother-in-law. And the second expressed the desire of the club to convey to the public that the mother-in-law should be regarded as a friend, and that the attention of all new-married couples and all engaged couples should be directed to that resolution, which was passed without opposition. Sense of Humour The sense of humour of the mothers-in-law present at the meeting was proved y/hen they rejected the first proposal on the grounds that it would be unfair to propose such an outspoken veto to “jibes and sallies” at their expense. So they merely asked that such jokes should not be too harsh. During question-time one member asked: “Why is it that, while so many jokes are made against mothers-in-law there are never any jokes about fathers-in-law?”

j There was a prompt answer: “Because there are more mothers-in-law ! than fathers-in-law. The fathers-in-ilaw die under the strain.”