WIT AND HUMOUR.

Greymouth Evening Star, Volume XXXI, 19 January 1901, Page 4

WIT AND HUMOUR.

FROM THE NEW FIRST READER. See the bad boy ! Why is the loybad ? Because of a proverb ho once read in a book. What did the proverb say? It said, “ The good die young.” That is why the boy is not taking any ehan-ces. EEOARDINO THEIR CREDIT, Mrs. Dimoleton: “My dear, it is being reported around that we owe to everybody.” Dashaway : “ And the worst of it is, it’s true. So what are you going to do about it ?” “Do ? Why, we must correct such an impression immediately by giving an elaborate dinner party.”

tom’s BREECHES AND THE BELL DOO. Tom : “ You’ve been leaning against a white-washed fence, haven't you?” Dick; “ No. Why ? ” “ The seat of your trowsers is covered with white dust/’

“ ’Sh! I’m going to call on Miss Pechy. Her father, you know, keeps a bulldog. That white dust is arsenic.” olfdl! There was a gay girl who played golf, With her hat tossed coqucttishly olf. She got caught in the rains, And I mention with pain That she non - has a horrible coif.

Cats are having a bad time in Germany just now.' Ten thousand fur-lined greatcoats and as many each of fur gloves and gaiters have been ordered for the troops in China, and pussy has to shed her skin for it all. For every greatcoat fourteen catskins are used, two for each pair of gaiters, and one for each pair of gloves. Cats are going up in the German market, adds the “Muenchener Zeitung,” and one can almost believe it. If only the London householder might export a few!

A breach of the shipping laws of a kind that is becoming too common —that of engaging seamen for coastal boats without entering into the proper articles of agreement —has led to legal proceedings being taken to check the practice. William Manley, master of the steamer Queen of South, charged with such an offence at the Magistrate’s Court admitted his fault, saying the breach was unintentional. The Magistrate lined defendant 40s and costs £2 Bs, but any such offences in the future will not be so leniently dealt with. —Post. Ttte Great Northern Company announces the interruption of the ShanghaiAmoy and Shanghai-Hong Kong cables. Telegrams for Shanghai and other stations are forwarded by steamer from Yladisvostock.